Stereotypes

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September 14, 2008

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

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Prayer

I invite you to join me now into a time of prayer.

Spirit of this Community, in which we find strength and common purpose,

we turn our minds and hearts toward one another

seeking to bring into our circle of concern

all who need our love and support:

those who are ill,

those who are in pain, whether in body or in spirit,

those who are lonely,

those who have been wronged.

Our thoughts go to those living lives of hardship throughout our world, we think especially today of

Our neighbors on the Texas coast and the Caribbean Islands who have suffered due to the recent Hurricane.

May they all find the strength to rebuild their lives.

We think of all in our world who live with violence as part of their everyday lives:

we pray that they may find peace soon.

We are part of a web of life that makes us one with all humanity,

one with all the universe.

We are grateful for the miracle of consciousness which we share,

the consciousness that gives us the power to remember,

to forgive,

to change,

to cry,

to love,

to learn,

to hope,

to care,

to heal.

May we all find healing and hope at this time.

Amen

Sermon

Our invocation at the beginning of service states this is a time for questions more profound than answers. Good questions can help us expand our world view and give us insights into our human condition. Not so profound questions can also provide insights, usually into the condition of the questioner. A couple of years ago I was asked “Why was I born in Scotland?” I was confused by the question and after some thought I answered. “I was young at the time and I wanted to be close to my mother.” Maybe this is a good example of a question being more profound than the answer.

I found it strange to be asked about an attribute of mine over which I had no control. Having responsibility for our actions assumes we have some control over them. Not really the case with our own birth. Yet through the use of stereotypes we often make assumptions about others based on factors over which they have no control such as gender, region of origin, cultural background, race, or class. I think my questioner was trying to gain some understanding of my country of origin, an area with which he had no familiarity. I sympathize. I sometimes struggle to relate to people from different cultural backgrounds and fall back on stereotypes to relate to an individual.

One author says “One reason for stereotypes is the lack of personal, concrete familiarity that individuals have with persons in other racial or ethnic groups. Lack of familiarity encourages the lumping together of unknown individuals.” Stereotypes can be a useful but limiting way of relating to people different from us. Useful in allowing us to categorize and organize the many people we meet but limiting in the generalizations and projections we make onto those people. Generalizations become most problematic when we make judgments or form values based on them.

I sometimes feel that people are like icebergs – there is 10% above the water is what we really know of the person from our actual encounter with them. The other 90% of the person is hidden from us and we make up by projecting onto the person stereotypes from the group we feel they closest match or even just from people they remind us of. Stereotyping attempts to assume everyone within a particular group is similar because of one common attribute such as color of skin, primary language spoken, or financial well being. Such over-simplifications fail to capture the complexity of individuals and groups but stereotypes are not about the truth. They play into our conscious and unconscious prejudices, often simplifying what really are complex relationships and resulting in uninformed judgments of others. It is convenient for us to make decisions based on stereotypes because they help us generalize about groups we know little about.

Once we have a stereotype of a person or a group then we can find the examples that reinforce the stereotype and it can become our truth. This makes it hard for us to change our mind about someone or for us to recognize the changes others undertake in themselves. We resist letting facts get in the way of our opinions and we constrain others with a generalized image of them. Yet if we really seek the truth then we must be open to change our views. A great promise of Liberal Religion is the ability to change as our understanding widens and knowledge deepens. Our beliefs are open to change and the truth we seek is really just the best world view we have at the present time and will be enriched by the world as we experience it.

Stereotypes are created for a reason. I believe the purpose of many stereotypes is to justify the privileged status of an insider group based on some common attribute and stigmatize the outsider group as somehow responsible for their own lesser status. Those most marginalized in our society because of poverty, color of skin, gender, or sexuality are most likely to have their individuality and identity limited or distorted by a group identity. Stereotypes of marginalized groups arise to justify their lower status in society with the reason for their lower status somehow being that groups own fault. For example, the poor are poor because of laziness and desire not to work rather than other reasons such as prejudice, simple misfortune or an unfair economic system.

I remember getting a rude awakening to my own stereotyping of others while serving breakfast in a homeless shelter. I noticed a number of the men wearing work uniforms for some very well known companies. I was surprised by this. In closer observation of other men, I noticed they were grooming themselves and rushing out the shelter much like many of us do when late for work. Many of these homeless men had jobs. I realized that my stereotyping was that homelessness was synonymous with unemployment. For some, being homeless is synonymous with joblessness for many it is not. I wonder if the workmates of the working homeless know about the housing situation of their colleagues or is that part of the 90% of the iceberg that we do not know about others.

This type of disconnection or separation between people goes against what I see at the core of liberal religion. Liberal religion strives for greater inclusion and connection between all people while recognizing the contribution each individual life makes to the fabric of our religious community. Each individual life contributes a unique story and the difference between our own story and the stories of others helps us grow our understanding of the human condition in all its complexity. I believe that diversity of religious thought and a variety of life experience is a source of spiritual growth for us. We learn much more from our differences than our similarities yet our differences can also separate us from each other. This tension with difference both being the source of our growth and a source of separation is a struggle for us within liberal religion.

In the reading that Jim read earlier we heard the author Jesus Colon struggle with whether he should help the woman with the children. He knew the right thing to do, to help her, but was concerned about how it would be perceived for a black-skinned, Puerto Rican man to help a white woman. He was aware of the potential prejudices that the woman COULD have, prejudices based on the stereotypes of the day. Would she think he was being too familiar or threatening her? Would her children be frightened of him?

The author, Jesus Colon, chose not to help her and says “I failed myself. I buried my courtesy early on Memorial Day morning.” I believe he felt that through his own actions and human separation he lost an important part of his own humanity. There is such a broken human connection when one is fearful even of offering help, not asking for directions or asking for money or even just casual conversation – but to offer help to someone he perceived needed it. He resolves next time he will do what is right regardless of how it is perceived. Jesus’s experience occurred in the mid-1950s yet much of what he says still resonates with me today.

I know that I often second guess my own behavior because of how it will be perceived by people particularly people of a different gender, age, race, or cultural background. A childhood female friend of mine said to me many years ago “Brian you have to realize how intimidating you can be to people because of your height, of course you are only intimidating until you start talking.” I guess there will be no fire and brimstone sermons from this preacher – pity. I remember being quite shocked when she told me about how I could be intimidating and that self-awareness has stayed with me. That perception of myself does affect the way I interact with others.

I would imagine most of us here today can think of characteristics of ourselves that we are aware of when interacting with others. Some aspects become more dominant when we are dealing with those different from us – often gender, race, class, or power differentials between people can change how people perceive themselves and the other. I became most aware of how those from marginalized groups can perceive of themselves in stereotypical and limited ways by an experience I had at the San Francisco Unitarian Universalist church.

I met Nathan Cistone on his first day visiting our San Francisco church. I was the first person who spoke to him at the church and we talked for about a half hour. I must have been behaving myself (or very quiet), since Nathan came back and became very involved in our religious community. Nathan and I became close friends. He was bright, funny, and kind-hearted. Prior to knowing Nathan I had no friends who were transgender. Occasionally we would discuss his struggles as a person who is transgender and how he had become estranged from his parents four years previously as they struggled to accept Nathan’s desire for others to recognize him as a man.

Nathan found a welcoming home in our church and was popular with many. One day I approached him about becoming a worship associate which involved co-leading worship. He resisted asking “Do you think people would be okay having a transgender person leading worship, or do you have an ulterior motive and are asking me because I am transgender?” I understood his concern, and replied, “I’m asking you because I think you are bright and articulate but I do have an ulterior motive. I’m 41 years old and do not want to be the youngest worship associate here, so I want a 26 year-old like you.” Nathan’s hearty laughter quickly subsided into tears. I was confused and asked what was wrong. Still sobbing, he explained, “Nothing is wrong. That is what I love about this church, people see me as a whole person, sometimes I need to be reminded of my own complete humanity.” This was a revelation for me to see how one marginalized aspect of a person’s identity came to dominate their own view of themselves. We often need to be reminded by others of our own worthiness and wholeness as people regardless of some specific identity.

I think this was Jesus Colon’s struggle in the earlier story, he could not see past his identity as a black, Puerto Rican. This is understandable given the history of racism and persecution that blacks and Puerto Ricans have experienced in North America. This sensitivity to one’s own identity was probably a healthy self-preservation mechanism but as demonstrated in the story so limiting to human connection. My friend Nathan was fortunate in finding a community that could help remind him of his wholeness as a person and allow him to embrace his full humanity. Some of us here today I would imagine feel the same about this religious community in Austin.

The San Francisco Unitarian Universalist community was also blessed and transformed by Nathan’s humanity and this became all too sadly clear to me about six months after the conversation I just described. On September 28th 2004, at the age of 27, Nathan died in a car accident. This occurred about a week after he and his mother had re-established their relationship after several years of estrangement. The Sunday after Nathan’s death he was supposed to give a reflection at the worship service in the San Francisco church. The minister asked me and two other friends of Nathan’s to read his reflection during the service. There was a sense of disbelief amongst everyone present. Despite the solemnity of the occasion we could not suppress the optimism of his words. It was a difficult and profound experience. I left the service sad but uplifted by the community support and Nathan’s optimistic outlook despite the adversity he had faced in his life.

After the service I read the newspaper report of his death. I remember feeling my heart sink as the last sentence of the article said the coroner had identified Nathan as a woman. I was angry that even in death his desire to be who he wanted to be, who he believed he was, being denied. My relationship with and affection for Nathan was so strong that I was hurt by the denial of his identity. This shows me the transcendent power of a relationship where people can bring all aspects of their full humanity including their differences and uniqueness. This is transforming to all involved, both individuals and community. I know it was true for me, and I believe it was true for Nathan and many members of the San Francisco church.

I think this shows the great promise of liberal religion with its drive towards inclusiveness and not only acceptance but an embracing of various identities. At our best we enable all members of community to embrace their fuller humanity beyond restrictive stereotypes and prejudices common in the wider society. Our religious community benefits from the diverse range of experiences and identities people bring into our community. I know my relationship with Nathan forever changed my understanding of and compassion for people who are transgender or struggling with their own gender identity.

Historically both the Unitarian and Universalist movements have sought greater inclusion of people in all aspects of our movement. Women in many religious denominations have had a major role in lay leadership and that continues today but that is not true of ordained leadership. Universalist Olympia Brown was the first woman ordained into ministry in North America and this happened in 1863. In the late 19th century Unitarians had ordained twenty-three women. During much of the 20th century leadership in the Unitarian movement actively blocked and discouraged women from ordained ministry.

After the merger of the Unitarians and the Universalists only about 2% of our ministers were women as late as 1970. Reflecting the greater equality women have elsewhere in our society, today there are more women actively serving as Unitarian Universalist ministers than men. So if you want a stereotype of a Unitarian Universalist minister today is it would be woman not a man. I believe that the struggles women have had for equality can only enrich the ministries within our movement. While women ministers may be common in Unitarian Universalism we should not forget that many religious movements in the United States women are a small minority or not allowed in ordained ministry.

Another example of our Liberal religious drive for inclusion within the Unitarian Universalist movement has been the acceptance and support of gays and lesbians. This includes many openly gay ministers serving without controversy in contrast to other denominations. Yet I still feel there is work for us to do in this area. I was very surprised to read a recent survey conducted within a Unitarian Universalist church in the San Francisco Bay area where 25% of the congregation expressed concerns about potentially calling a gay minister. This situation gets further complicated when one considers the same congregation a year later called a gay minister with a 94% vote in favor.

In thinking about these two apparently contradicting facts I wonder if there was some stereotype of a gay minister at work here such that 25% of a congregation felt troubled by the idea. When a gay person was proposed as the minister for the church people were able to see the individual minister beyond a gay stereotype. While this can sound a hopeful example of transcending stereotypes I wonder if a different gay ministerial candidate could overcome the same prejudice. This suggests to me that we still have work to breakdown stereotypes since I can’t imagine 25% of a congregation saying they would be concerned about a heterosexual stereotype.

This shows the struggle we have with stereotypes. When a person comes from a group we are familiar with or we perceive as “more like us” then we see them more as an individual but I suspect we still project much of our own values onto them. When a person comes from a group we perceive to be different from ourselves then we are much more likely to stereotype an individual with properties of a group, properties that have nothing to do with the individual themselves. This can be a problem since most stereotypes are negative.

So how does liberal religion guide us to respond to the limited perspective demonstrated by stereotypes. I believe our striving for inclusion of people with differing beliefs and life experiences is fundamental to overcoming the prejudices created by stereotypes. One of the defining characteristics of Liberal Religion is that we are non-creedal, where we do not have to profess a shared belief to be part of this community. This allows an openness of religious and personal expression within our communities and creates a place where through honest and open interactions spiritual growth of individuals and our community can occur.

Our differences are our strength. Similarity leads to conformity – conformity of religious views, conformity of societal norms, conformity of a patriarchal culture, conformity of political orthodoxy, and conformity of what it means to human and fully alive. The difference that comes from a diversity of opinions, histories, cultural background, class, gender, and race leads us to wrestle with questions that are more profound than answers. A seeking that helps us to grow our soul a little each time we struggle to live to our highest ideals. In serving our highest ideals we seek to understand the struggles of those who are different from us.

In serving our highest ideals we seek to overcome our own biases and prejudices as we honestly encounter the individuality of people different from us. In serving our highest ideals we accept that we are capable of great service to others even as we are imperfect in our relationship them.

The encounter with difference is the great promise of our Liberal Religious community. Our honest, humble, and compassionate response to this encounter helps us to transcend the stereotypes of others and ourselves. In doing so we connect more fully with our own humanity and the humanity of others, this I believe is how best we can bless our world. I believe Jesus Colon connected with himself in the story we heard earlier when he promised to offer his help regardless how it would be perceived. I believe my friend Nathan connected with his own wholeness as a person when he realized others viewed him as more than a person who was transgender. I believe I am most complete and whole when I am serving others in the cause of higher ideals. I leave you with this question when do you feel most alive and whole as a person? When we live in our actions the answer to that question we are blessing and enriching our world.

—————–

Hurst, Charles E. Social Inequality: Forms, Causes, and Consequences. (Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc., 2007) p.6

Colon, Jesus. Little Things Are Big http://ctp.facinghistory.org/stories/ltab/text (accessed September 8th, 2008)

Wright, Conrad. A Stream of Light: A Short History of Unitarian Universalism (Boston, MA:UUA, 1989) p.100

Bryce, David. Looking Back – Unitarianism and Women, Part 2 http://www.westchesteruu.org/sermons (accessed September 9th, 2008)

Unitarian Universalist Association. Women, Gender Equality, & Family http://www.uua.org/visitors/justicediversit/7012.shtml (accessed September 8th, 2008)