© Becky Harding
17 August 2003
First UU Church of Austin
4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756
www.austinuu.org
SERMON
“Atticus stood up and walked to the end of the porch. When he completed his examination of the wisteria vine, he strolled back to me.
First of all, he said, if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
Harper Lee – To Kill a Mockingbird
It’s 1:28 a.m. on Wednesday, April 23rd and I am sitting in chamber room 105 at the state capitol building and I am thinking about this passage from Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. I am waiting to testify against a house bill that, if passed, would remove all foster children from the homes of any person deemed homosexual. Earlier in the evening, state representative Robert Talton introduced this legislation and actually said that the children of gays and lesbians would be better off in orphanages than in their homes. I am sincerely trying to understand things from his point of view but failing miserably.
Weeks later, I am reading Reason for Hope, by Jane Goodall and I stumble on a possible explanation for Mr. Talton’s attitudes. Goodall suggests that “cultural speciation in humans means that the members of one group, the in-group, see themselves as different from members of another group, the out-group. In its extreme form, cultural speciation leads to the dehumanizing of out-group members, so that they may come to be regarded almost as members of a different species. This frees group members from the inhibitions and social sanctions that operate within the group and enables them to direct acts toward those others which would not be tolerated within the group. Slavery and torture at one end of the scale, ridicule and ostracism at the other.”
This certainly helps me understand why Mr. Talton, as chimpanzees for thousands of years before him, feels the need to figuratively twist my arms. His legislation failed, by the way. When asked what do gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered people have in common, transgender professor Jenny Finney responded, “We all can get beat up by the same people.” Dehumanizing indeed.
I am flooded with thoughts. How did I get here? Here, in a chamber room at the Texas State Capitol. Here, in the pulpit of the First Unitarian Universalist Church. Where have we come from? We all carry legacy of some sort. What’s our role in the apparently second civil rights movement? And where are we going? Was that the Newsweek cover asking, “Is gay marriage next?”
With apologies to Sappho and Greek art, I’ll start with June 27, 1969. Legend has it that the Greenwich Village tavern, the Stonewall Inn, was frequently raided by lackadaisical police officers who would gently nudge the queer crowd to move on to another locale. But that night, June 27th, stricken with grief over the death of the beloved Judy Garland, the folks, not only refused to move on, but became increasingly agitated at the thought of not being permitted to gather and mourn their diva. The riot lasted three days, and the modern g,l,b,t revolution began. Before the Stonewall riots, about a dozen gay publications existed and in just a few years, over 400 organizations and publications were out and about.
You can easily identify the club members by the rainbow stickers and flags plastered everywhere – a tribute to Judy Garland who helped start it all. Remember her theme song was “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”?
And if you don’t see any rainbow strips on cars, you might find a pink triangle. If a prisoner was deemed homosexual, Nazi concentration camp officials would have a pink triangle sewn on his shirt. A black triangle identified lesbians. These symbols have, obviously, been reclaimed to honor the legacy of those before us.
And, if you are wandering through Home Depot with your good friend, Juanita, and her “gaydar” spots two women talking, she might nudge you and say, “family.” This code word comes from the concept that so many members of the g,l,b,t community have been rejected by their biological families, so they claim friends as family. Yes, the dance floor is always overrun when “We Are Family” comes on the sound system.
In the early years of this movement, so many members felt isolated. So a joyous, once-a-year, tradition of PRIDE festivals began. Simply, this is a gathering where folks can be themselves and celebrate. Music, dancing, and food abound as do paraders. The idea, naturally, is that there is nothing to be ashamed of and why not be proud of yourself. Stop the dehumanizing, as it were.
So in the early days, role models were sorely lacking. Liberace used a “don’t ask, don’t tell” approach. Elton John even proclaimed bisexuality for years in fear of hostile reactions. And, if you were a g,l,b,t teen during this time, it would be difficult to find any role models in a mainstream movie.
Certainly, films were made. As early as 1963, Lillian Hellman’s The Children’s Hour featured a young Shirley McClain wrestling with her feelings for another woman. Her character, of course, upon deciding she is a lesbian, shoots herself. But lesbians didn’t fret because they got a gift in the legendary film, Personal Best. Exotic Mariel Hemingway experiments with a relationship with another female track teammate and her character doesn’t die, there is that career ending knee surgery.
The gentlemen didn’t fare much better. The compassionate yet somber Long Time Companion chronicles the deaths of a group of friends from AIDS. Huge strides were made in understanding the gay community when Philadelphia, a beautiful and loving film, premiered, yet Tom Hanks does, indeed, die a difficult death in that film as well.
The transgendered world was opened up to us all so much more with the poignant, Boys Don’t Cry. As you can tell, the not so subtle message is that g,l.b.t people do exist in the world, but it isn’t an easy life. Until lately.
Slowly and surely, winds of change have blown in and we can see The Bird Cage on television or the wildly popular Will and Grace. And no one dies in the awesome Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, a delightful and kind makeover show featuring five fabulous divas.
G,l,b,t supporting characters abound on Friends, ER, Spin City, Dawson’s Creek etc. And let us not ever forget the first million dollar Survivor winner was out and proud, Richard Hatch.
So what caused the change? Lots of complex elements. Acceptance came in small doses over time.
On October 12, 1998, a young gay man was hung up on a fence post and bludgeoned to death with a pistol. Matthew Shepard’s death shocked and saddened almost everyone – gay and straight. Maybe people across America put themselves in his shoes – or his parent’s shoes and a new commitment to tolerance and compassion seemed to be born on that cold plain in Wyoming.
So where are we now? This summer we have seen the Episcopalian church elect the first openly gay bishop. The Rev, Gene Robinson of New Hampshire, took the office with his partner standing next to him. The parishioners said they chose Robinson simply because he was the best candidate.
This summer, the United States Supreme Court overturned all sodomy laws in the Lawrence versus Texas case. According to the Lesbian, Gay Rights Lobby, “the sodomy law is used as a front for all brands of discrimination” When the Court overturned the law, it also took the opportunity to overturn all of the sodomy laws in the United States, further protecting the right to privacy between two consenting adults.”
Justice Anthony Kennedy, reading from the bench, said, gays “?are entitled to respect for their private lives.” Some of the gay activists and lawyers wept as they listened. This ruling gives us constitutional protection – and can be sited in other g,l,b,t court battles.
According to the July 7th edition of Newsweek, “the battle over gay marriage, gay adoption, gays in the military and gays in the workplace – will be fought out court to court, state to state for years to come. Nonetheless, there is no question that the Lawrence case represents a sea of change, not just in the Supreme Court, a normally cautious institution, but also in society as a whole.” David Garrow, a legal scholar at Emory University said, “The case is maybe one of the two most important opinions of the last 100 years.”
For the first time in my lifetime, the talk of gay marriage seems very attainable. Gay marriage that would give my partner and I our civil right – a marriage license that gives individuals access to the responsibilities, protections and support government provides to families.
We are fortunate that her company offers health benefits to same sex couples, but what about most of our friends whose companies don’t? There are many advantages to gay marriage but healthcare tops my list
All of this is wonderful and I don’t want to spoil the celebration, but you and I both know that backlash is a powerful wave. The conservative forces are going to, in all probability, push for an amendment to the U.S. Constitution defining marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Jerry Falwell has said, “the only way to put the traditional biblical family form of one man married to one woman safely out of reach of future courts and legislatures, is to pass an amendment to the U.S. Constitution.” Dehumanizing indeed.
My friends, I think we are preparing for a war. So what can you and I do? Clearly, we all can reduce the climate of fear and create an environment of acceptance. Those of us in the g,l,b,t community need to be “out,” showing the world, our next door neighbors, the letter carrier, that there is nothing to fear from our community. Our similarities are probably more abundant than our differences.
The straight community can speak up when “dehumanizing” behaviors prevail. Even the smallest acts send a message. So I was glad to se that when Jeremy Shockley called Dallas Cowboys coach Bill Parcells, “a homo,” most people were disgusted. But not enough. Cathy Renna of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation said, “It’s a reflection that it’s still ok to use that language.” Esera Tuaolo, who came out after he played nine seasons in the NFL added, “To the players and coaches, it’s no big deal, but for someone like me, it is a big deal. That’s one of the things we need to change. It’s a spoken language we need to change.”
As a school teacher, I suspect I heard the word “gay” or “lesbian” or some other slang form used in a derogatory way nearly every day I taught. Each time, I would stop and take the time to, in a nurturing way, teach the child a little bit of tolerance. The sad piece is that most of the time, these children really didn’t think they were saying something wrong.
We must all speak up! A good friend of mine was telling another mother about her two and a half year old daughter’s kissing episode with another little girl and the mother smiled and said, “Oh, don’t worry – that’s age appropriate.” My friend smiled back and said, “Yes. At any age.” That’s speaking up.
Of course, when the amendment process heats up, we must all join together and be activists. Write letters, make phone calls, send emails, join the Lesbian and Gay Rights Lobby. Get involved and get other people you love involved as well because GAY RIGHTS ARE CIVIL RIGHTS! In the days of Apartheid, Nelson Mandela argued, “No one is really free until all those in South Africa are free.” I believe that applies here! No one can enjoy the freedom of governmental rights until all of us can. Maybe this is the second wave of the civil rights movement. I remember white people died beside black people. Hopefully no one will die this time.
“An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness,” Margaret Atwood suggests. We must use tolerance and compassion to overcome ignorance and hatred. The Taoist believe “these three qualities are invaluable – a sense of equality, material simplicity, and compassion for all creatures.” The Delany Sisters, two African-American women who lived well into their 100’s wrote, “The most important thing is to teach your child compassion. A complete human being is one who can put himself in another’s shoes.”
It is important to remember that Matthew Shepard’s parents forgave their son’s killers. In that spirit, I have invited Rep. Talton to my home for dinner. Twice. So he can see us, know us, and not fear us. So far, I haven’t heard back but I’m going to keep trying.
As I drove home from the evening at the capitol, I asked myself why was I there? What did I really accomplish? The answer is simple.
I was there because of Claire. Claire is my two and a half year old daughter who I love very very much. I want the world to be a better place for her. I dream a world for Claire where she can marry anyone of any gender, not just someone approved by a small group of small minded people. I dream a world for Claire filled with tolerance and compassion for EVERYONE. Dream with me. Dream with me.
