Playing ball on running water

Rev. Meg Barnhouse
August 31, 2014

In Morita psychotherapy, mindfulness, daily practice and habits of attention are the elements with which one works to achieve sturdiness and balance.

You may know that I have a lot of training as a pastoral counselor. I was in private practice for years, and I reached Fellow level in the Association of Pastoral Counselors. I have seen therapy do wonderful things for people, but my belief in it is limited. One of the things I noticed was that there is very little relationship between insight into your history and your feelings and patterns and actually changing those patterns. I was intrigued when I read that a psychiatrist named Dr. Morita, dept. head of one of Tokyo’s large medical centers, wrote: “There is a limit to the progress that can be made through insight.”

Modern Western psychotherapy as leaned heavily on insight and medication. Morita addresses character-building through attention to behavior.

I’m sure it’s not either-or, but both that end up helping people.

Pulling oneself together can be a demanding and difficult task. Dr. Morita saw that neurotic suffering is a result of misunderstandings about life. Rather than treating an illness, he thought reeducation was the key. It is what you DO, not how you THINK that changes reality. Changes begin with action.

In “Conscious Living” therapy the aim is not to discover the historical origin of troubling feelings. Insight about the origin of feelings doesn’t always change the feelings. It seems reasonable to accept one’s feelings as they are and turn your attention to reality and behavior. In CL the behavior is what is important, not the feelings about the behavior or even the results of the behavior. I can spend a day weeding in the garden and the next week a new crop of weeds takes its place. I can build a house and a fire can destroy the house. Nothing, though, can take away the changes to my character that occurred while building that house. (My goal is to build a character. To be able to live in the moment and be kind. To allow my attention to focus on the problems life brings me and the joys as well. No immature fluttering around.)

Three principles are to
1. accept your feelings
2. know your purpose and
3.to do what needs doing.

So, in this system, do you ignore your feelings? No, your emotions provide needed information about what needs to be done. Don’t put off doing your life until you get yourself straightened out. That’s not going to happen before you begin doing what needs to be done. Acceptance does not equal passivity. We are most free when we are most skilled at living life, that is, when we are self-disciplined.

CL says there is no “bottled up” feeling. You are feeling it when you are feeling it. A thing isn’t a problem when you are not noticing it. You feel rage, to accept it and do what needs to be done.

A life without difficulty would be purposeless–it would destroy us. We need stress in order to be alive. We need to deal with difficulty. (Do I believe that?)

What is the purpose of accepting your feelings, knowing your purpose and doing what needs to be done? To feel euphoric all the time? That would be inappropriate, Morita says. . To handle everything smoothly? Be skilled at daily living. live well work well love well. The goal is to transcend emotions … to understand and appreciate them, to be informed by them, but no longer to be fettered by them. The goal is to become part of the work that is going on all around you, part of your surroundings. Not the center of the world which is performing for you to frustrate or entertain you.

Accept your feelings. Know your purpose. Do what needs to be done.

MISTAKES teach us what works and what doesn’t. They remind us to pay attention. They wam us of future trouble and frustration if we don’t adjust to what reality brings. Some people bore and suffocate themselves by staying in the safe zones, by not doing anything they aren’t going to be good at. Buddhist saying that a bull’s eye is the result of a hundred misses.

Knowing when to act is as important as knowing when not to act.

Sometimes productive waiting is what needs to be done. Letting the water boil. Letting the glue set all the way before testing it. We can trust reality to keep bringing us things to which we can respond. Reality doesn’t change according to what we think and feel. It changes according to what we do.

We trust the inner voice that tells us what needs to be done next in the moment.

We trust our ability to control our behavior no matter what our feelings are. (I find these trusts oblivious to the unconscious and the forces it sets in motion in our lives. I remember Paul writing, in his letters, I do that which I don’t want to do, and don’t do what I want to do! As a descnption of the human condition. I suppose Morita would just say “keep trying to do what you want to do.” )

We let our thinking freeze our action.

Summary: our feelings are not controllable. Our behavior, to a greater extent, is. CL recommends a life built on moment-to-moment doing what needs to be done. Letting feelings ebb and flow, gathering information from them, but not letting them determine what we DO. “The fully functioning human being isn’t one who is pain-free and happy all the time. Getting the job done no matter how you feel…” We become the means by which Reality gets things accomplished.

Morita seems like a great way not to get stuck. You keep your life moving forward. You do what needs doing in each situation. You notice what works and what doesn’t. There is a story about an Indian student who came to the States and, when given a tea bag for his tea, began to tear it open, since she was used to loose tea. “No, in the States we don’t tear the bag open, we just put it in the water. She filed that away, and then, when given the packet of sugar, put it in the water without tearing it open. What is the right action for each moment? Does the attitude that works for you at work also work at home? Does the way you treat your children translate to a way you treat your life-partner?

Salvation and meaning lie in the practice of daily life.

Is that all there is? I believe that salvation and meaning lie in learning to love and be loved. That’s the theme on which I’m living variations now. Every time I think I have learned part of it I go to another place inside where I find a difficulty giving or receiving love. I can’t trust or I can’t accept someone else or I try too hard to be what they want or I rebel against trying too hard to be what they want. Anyway, that’s being my meaning right now. I believe that there is a balance in the world of suffering and joy and if you’re not suffering, your job is to add to the joy. By loving and being loved. The reason I know that it is where salvation and meaning lie for me is that, when I picture myself on my death bed, if I can look at people I have loved and people who have loved me, that feels like a good life to me.

But for salvation and meaning to be in the practice of daily living? Is that enough? Could it be enough for a while until you find your own theme? I think so. And what about situations where the question of loving and being loved doesn’t seem to pertain? Then thinking about “doing the next thing” helps. When I don’t feel like writing I write anyway. That increases my self respect. When I don’t feel like going to karate class and go anyway, that increases my self respect. When something happens like your fund raiser gets rained out or your checks bounce or your favorite employee quits or your roof falls in, thinking about doing the next thing can save you a lot of flailing around. I like this system. Think about who you are. Think about your purpose. Accept your feelings. Do what needs to be done. If you try it, let me know how it goes.

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