What holds us together?

Rev. Meg Barnhouse
August 14, 2016
First UU Church of Austin
4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756
www.austinuu.org

When the Unitarians merged with the Universalists, they decided to write a list of ideas we all “affirm,” which means to say “yes” to, and “promote,” which means we talk about these things, not only amongst ourselves but with others as well. Let’s take a look at how they speak to what is going on today.

What a situation we have out there these days! The election is unlike anything we’ve seen, terrorism is affecting European people now, so it’s getting a lot of press. Folks feel somehow that they have to choose sides between suggesting that Black lives matter and honoring the dangerous job that law enforcement is trying to do. You have to have fine-tuned ears now because people all talk at the same time on the cable news shows. People on both sides act like the others have taken leave of their good sense. In a situation like this, we need to go back to basics. We need to turn to our Principles. When we talk every Sunday about what holds us together, we say our mission. That’s not the only thing at the foundation of our church. We have Principles, and a thoughtful commitment to the Principles will shape your life. Taking a deep refreshing a dive into them this year, we will see what treasures we can bring up from the depths, to aid our growing strength as spiritual/spirited people.

The Principles were adopted in 1960, when the Unitarians and Universalists were merging. They were hammered out with passion, fury, diplomacy, compassion and compromise. Their language was of the time, and, in the early 80’s the women let it be known that changes needed to be made. There were discussions, thoughtful and fruitful. Much smoother than before. There were several General Assemblies where votes were taken. I remember, in the early 90’s when I was just coming into this denomination from the Presbyterians, at my first GA I got to see the seventh principle, about” the interdependent web of all existence, of which we a part” was given its final positive vote, to allow it to be added to the original six. My sense of the truth of that Principle, my experience with Earth-based spirituality, found it deeply satisfying that this denomination had taken that step.

So our principles are the result of a lot of committee work. They can challenge and change us, and I want you to know that the work of teams of people thinking and acting together are the way all of the best church work gets done. The Principles are something we agree to affirm and we agree to promote them, but they are not a test of belief, as a creed is. Creeds, also created by committees, were originally crafted as a focus for Christians who were being tortured for their beliefs. People had a list of beliefs to hold onto as they were threatened with death. It was self-definition in the midst of a hostile culture. It feels good to some folks to be part of a group reciting ancient words.

Our principles are not commandments or a creed, but they do point to who we aspire to be. They are a big, inviting house where there are lots of rooms, lots of ways of being and believing within a structure, a container for our right relations.

In this election cycle, we watch Trump rallies, and it is easy to see the people who do not live by the principles. It’s not that they would not be welcome here, it’s that they would feel a lack of fit. They would understand, listening to the principles being read that this was a different place. About as different as you can get from a Trump rally. There is still the longing for fairness, just different thoughts on how to get there. Different methods for getting there. There is still the longing for safety, but different thoughts on who should be included in that safety. The Principles inform our lives, and, often, unless we were raised with them, the first time we heard them we felt ourselves rung like a bell.

The first Principle that we agree to affirm and promote is the inherent worth and dignity of every person. This does not hold for ideas, which have to prove their worth. We are not called to affirm or promote the worth or dignity of every idea, but of every person. There is no individual or group of people who are worthless, who are undeserving of dignity. This idea can guide our thoughts, and show us how to treat people. Just in case you think this just means “be nice,” let me spell this out for you. I like to turn up the heat on our understanding of the Principles by adding “beginning in our homes and congregations” to the end of each one. So, we recognize the worth and dignity of every person in our home, including ourselves. Does this mean letting everyone do what they want to until civilization falls? Clearly not. A colleague of mine in the state of Maine took a walk in her neighborhood. Hanging from an apartment building was an enormous rebel flag. A woman happened to come out of the building, and they began a neighborly chat.. My colleague asked about the flag and found out this woman’s boyfriend had hung it. My colleague asked, gently, whether the woman knew that, for a lot of people, that flag was not a symbol of the South, but an emblem of racism and white supremacy. The next day it was down. Gone. She didn’t harangue. Didn’t hammer or nag. Just kindly, without self-righteousness, gave her some information. In this, she respected the worth and dignity of the woman and her boyfriend. That’s hard to do, though, and the likelihood is that the racism didn’t change, it just went inside the apartment. What works better?

In the spring I talked to you about how new research seems to indicate that the brains of liberals and conservatives are wired differently. From tiny involuntary eye movements in reaction to various peaceful or provoking photographs, researchers say they can have a good idea about a person’s political leanings. The corollary of this is that words will not change someone’s mind. The only things that changes someone’s mind, we learn from the FBU hostage negotiators, is listening. Deep, active, sincere listening. Listening to the point where you can almost sense the need for security, the urge to rest in the familiar surroundings of only people you understand, to the point where you can almost see how giving the whole system over to someone who claims he knows what to do, who claims he can fix everything, where you want to believe that there is someone more grown-up than you who will take care of things. It’s that kind of listening that will give you the best odds of partnering with another mind in making a change.

We honor the worth and the dignity of other people by believing that they can teach us something if we engage in conversation, if we listen, if we say our piece when what the I Ching calls “the window of influence” is open. Say our piece and then leave it alone. We honor people’s worth and dignity when we do not infanitilize them because we don’t understand their language or their culture. We honor their worth and dignity when we not only treat people with fairness, but we work for more fairness in the laws of our land. We see so many examples of this not being done. We see mostly male legislators, with values shaped by ignorant preachers, encroaching on sensible health care for women. White folks are waking up again to the structures of white supremacy in our society. We don’t need to feel guilty, we just need to notice it and not fall back asleep, and we need to do what we can do dismantle unfair structures, and use the privileges we do have due to our gender, our skin color, our mainstream sexuality or our able-bodied ness in ways that help those without. And if you know someone who quibbles about whether the structures are still unfair, just as them whether they would like to trade lives and be treated the way people of color are treated. If they would like to live in a body that works differently from the majority of bodies.

What we are seeing in this election cycle is a high status person giving permission for the voicing of crude, cruel, racist, sexist and uneducated prejudices. There are thousands of these folks in every state. I’m not here to play “ain’t it awful” I’m here to say we have an enormous and difficult listening opportunity.

Most listening opportunities are easier than that, with people in your family and at work. My challenge to all of us is this. Knowing that words don’t change people who disagree more than a few degrees from you, or people who are not open to you, let’s put all our emphasis on listening for a few months. Can we do it? I don’t know about you, but I know I won’t be able to. But I’m going to keep trying. It’s my goal. Listening is such a gift. Become aware. Almost no one does it. No one, and I think it’s the key to health and happiness. Take a look at the front of your order of service.

Let yourself hear “shhhhhh.” And trust your good sense to tell you when it’s time. To shhhhhhhhh.

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