An Invitation to Belonging

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button above.

Rev. Michelle LaGrave
September 8, 2024
First UU Church of Austin
4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756
www.austinuu.org

What does it mean to belong? How might we support ourselves and each other in cultivating a sense of belonging? Why is belonging important to building the beloved community?

Chalice Lighting

This is the flame we hold in our hearts as we strive for justice for everyone. This is the light we shine upon systems of oppression until they are no more. This is the warmth that we share with one another as our struggle becomes our salvation.

Call to Worship

A PLACE OF BELONGING AND CARING
by Kimberlee Tomczak Carlson

It is not by chance that you arrived here today.

You have been looking for something larger than yourself.
Inside of you there is a yearning, a calling, a hope for more,
A desire for a place of belonging and caring.

Through your struggles, someone nurtured you into being,
Instilling a belief in a shared purpose, a common yet precIous resource
That belongs to all of us when we share.

And so, you began seeking a beloved community:

A people that does not put fences around love.
A community that holds its arms open to possibilities of love.
A heart-home to nourish your soul and share your gifts.

Welcome home; welcome to worship.

Affirming Our Mission

Together we nourish souls, transform lives, and do justice to build the Beloved Community.

Reading

BELONGING
– Brené Brown

We’re wired for love. We’re hardwired for belonging. It’s in our DNA. But let me tell you what belonging is. The opposite of belonging – from the research – is “fitting in.” That’s the opposite of a lot.

Fitting-in is assessing and acclimating. “Here’s what I should say. Here’s what I shouldn’t say. Here’s what I should avoid talking about. Here’s what I should dress like, look like.” That’s fitting in.

Belonging is belonging to yourself first. Speaking your truth, telling your story and never betraying yourself for people. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are. It requires you to BE who yau are, and that’s vulnerable.

Sermon

On this day, when so many of our hearts are heavy, I offer you this invitation – to listen. Not with your ears, but with your hearts. To open your hearts to the possibility of change, the possibility of Love, the possibility of beloved community. This is an invitation to the possibility of belonging.

Belonging. Belonging to a family, a group, a community is essential to our ability as humans to thrive, to grow, to develop, to change, to transform. From the time of our birth, belonging is essential to both our physical and mental health. We belong to and with those who raise us, care for us, and teach us. Our very survival is based on interdependence with a group of humans, made up partly of family, biological or chosen, as well as a larger community of people who cooperate in growing and preparing our food, teaching us essential knowledge and skills, and caring for our health. We cannot survive as fully independent humans.

Independence is, at its core, a myth. We must belong. Somewhere, somehow, we must belong.

While belonging is essential to our basic, short-term survival as individuals, as a collective, humans aspire to more than basic survival. We are driven to grow, develop, and change. These abilities are essential to our survival as a species. And for these, too, belonging is also essential. To thrive, as a species, and as individuals, we must belong. We belong to families, groups of friends, classrooms, interest groups, congregations, neighborhoods, ethnic groups, faith traditions, towns, schools, clubs, and much more. At least, we might. The possibility, as well as the necessity, of belonging exists. If, or when, we don’t belong we feel excluded and trouble brews.

Not belonging leads to feelings of loneliness and isolation. And not much that is good comes from loneliness or isolation. These are to be avoided, if at all possible. Today, you are all here. Either in person or online. And so the possibility of belonging exists for you, right now, right here, in this moment. The possibility of belonging to a spiritual community, a faith tradition, yourself exists right now. You are invited to belong.

This congregation’s mission, its purpose, is to build beloved community. Beloved community probably means many things to many different people. It was first clearly articulated by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr during the civil rights movement. Beloved community in that context is a lot about social justice, especially economic justice and so it is already a lot about belonging, about the possibility and promise for all people to not only survive but also thrive.

Building beloved community here, in this congregation, is partly about how if we can learn to do it well here, we can learn to do it well out there, in the wider world.

That doesn’t mean we aren’t actively working on doing justice out there, in the wider world, at the same time. We’re doing both. I’d like to suggest that building beloved community is also about building connection; getting and staying connected to each other. We cannot cooperate in a group endeavor to survive and thrive if we do not know each other and if we are not connected to each other. Beloved community is about being known, loved, cared for, and by, and connected to each other. Building beloved community is about working to minimize those all-too-common feelings of isolation and loneliness. And so, building beloved community requires us to show up as our authentic selves and to support and encourage each other in doing the same.

You are invited to belong. You are invited to belong to yourself. You are invited to belong to this beloved community.

So let’s pretend, for a moment, that you’ve said yes, yes to belonging. How does one go about the process of belonging? There are three key components: to show up as your authentic self, to support and encourage others to do the same, and to allow for the possibility of change, maybe even transformation.

That’s show up, yourself;
encourage others to show up, themselves;
and be open to change.

1. Show up as your authentic self

Be true to yourself (don’t betray yourself in terms of who you are) Don’t try to “fit in”. Church is not a personality or a popularity contest. Neither is beloved community.
Be vulnerable (sharing your authentic self, your thoughts and feelings, your lived experiences is how people build trust with each other.)
If we limit the ways in which we share our authentic selves, our experience of beloved community will also be limited.

2. Support and encourage others in showing up as their authentic selves.

Be curious about other people, be open to learning about each other, about how we experience similar life events differently. e.g. my grief might be different from yours, even though we both lost a child or a parent or a spouse; my job loss might have additional layers of trauma due to systemic oppression. This one is all about gentle, warm, open, non-judgmental curiosity.
If we limit the ways other people show up as their authentic selves, if we pressure them to try to fit into our own boxes, our own ways, then their and our experience of beloved community will also be limited.

3. Be willing to be changed by what you learn about yourselves and each other.

This one is not about changing who you are, or trying to fit in, but about
knowing yourself and growing into more of who you are
This one is about making room for possibility, for change, for transformation. It is about being open to changing the way we do things and not only accepting, but also supporting and encouraging each other in doing things differently. There is no one right way. There is no one right path.
More about this one next week.

How? What this congregation is already doing:

Small group ministry (Chalice Circles, Wellspring)
First UU Cares (including new Caring Companions ministry)
Grief group, soon to come Caregivers Group
Religious Education for all ages – including ways to reflect on our own experiences and ways of being in the world, and to change
Working together to create a healthier environment for people to share, to be vulnerable, through shared Healthy Relations Covenant, Healthy Relations Team, shared values, etc.
And so many other ways…

As a Gen X’er (which you’ll hear more about next week), I have a healthy dose of cynicism and idealism. And as a minister, that is extra true. I am realistic. I know what the world is. And I believe a better world is possible. In the meantime, I live in a world that could be but is not yet.

What I’m saying is that I know, I know that building beloved community is hard work. I’m not naive. And I know that showing up as our true selves is also hard work. Being vulnerable is the most courageous thing we can do because it is a choice. Unlike other situations in which courage is so often lauded, when our bodies react to extreme situations by going into fight, flight, or freeze mode, being true to ourselves, showing up as our authentic selves is a choice. A courageous choice. Beloved Community, and all that it entails is possible. Belonging is possible. You are invited to belong. Will you join me?

Amen and Blessed Be.

Extinguishing the Chalice

We extinguish this flame, but not the light of truth, the warmth of community, or the fire of commitment. These we hold in our hearts until we are together again.

Benediction

All of you, each and every one of you, is Loved.
You are loved in all of your strengths and might and challenges, and mistakes, and imperfections, and foibles, and plain old quirks.
You are Loved, wholeheartedly and unquestionably as your real, true, authentic self.
Go forth knowing that you are loved.
Go forth knowing that you are blessed.
Amen and Blessed Be.

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