Parable of the The Prodigal Son: The Father's Soliloquy

© Davidson Loehr

June 1, 3003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

INTRODUCTION

I began writing soliloquies for the characters in Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son in 1988, as a more creative way to explore the many depths and insights of great stories. As all who write stories learn, the characters have their own integrity, and once you’ve found it, the characters determine what they will say, not the storyteller. So the exercise of trying to put yourself inside the spirit of different characters is almost always eye-opening, and the stories usually lead to unexpected places. This was especially true with these four soliloquies. I wrote them in order of increasing difficulty – the older brother’s story is the easiest to tell, because everyone identifies with his complaints. In 1990, I wrote the second installment, a soliloquy for the fatted calf. This began almost as a joke, I expected the story to be very simply, whiny or angry, and straightforward. I was astonished when I found that the fatted calf had a voice and a perspective, and I was a little shocked to see what it had to say. I’m not aware that I had ever seen the story in this way before.

But after 1990, I left the project. Something about the last two characters felt harder, and felt like it would take a turn I didn’t know how to make. So it wasn’t until 2003, fifteen years after I’d begun the project, that I had two Sundays in a row to fill, and decided it would be a good time to finish what I had begun so long ago. The father was hard to write partly because I had to forget the confessional spin traditionally put on it: that the “father” is really God, so we must build this part up to be wonderful and wise. When I could finally just see him as the father of these two sons, he turned out to have a very different perspective on the story: less wise, perhaps, but much more human.

But the hardest to write, and the most surprising, was the soliloquy for the Prodigal Son. It has always seemed to me that his father’s actions put him in a tough place, living out his life among people who thought he was a shiftless cheat. As I got into him, it became clear to me that this parable – at least as I read it – contains the essential message of the man Jesus, at least as I understand it. And the lack of an ending to the story also seems to have been true to Jesus’ message: that this revolution can not be finished by one person or one God, that it is a conspiracy against the ways of the world into which we are all invited. This gave me a new appreciation for how unpleasant and unwelcome a message like this would be, in any time and place.

I don’t mean to inflict these soliloquies on you as the only way to speak through the material. I invite you into the story yourselves, to find for yourself the voices that seem to speak to and through you. And you may want to add more characters to the tale: a mother, for instance. For me, this was a spiritual exploration of the message of the man Jesus and some of its unsettling implications, as well as an exploration of my own spirit, and a challenge to my own beliefs. All great stories contain buried treasure, I invite you to dig here for a bit. – Davidson Loehr, June 2003

READINGS: Christian and Buddhist versions of the Prodigal Son Parable

I decided to contrast Jesus’ story with an older Buddhist version of a very similar situation. The two thinkers, and two religions, see things very differently, and their wisdom points in quite different directions, as you’ll see.

1. The Christian version comes from the gospel of Luke:

There was a man who had two sons; and the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of property that falls to me.” And he divided his living between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took his journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in loose living. And when he had spent everything, a great famine arose in that country and he began to be in want. So he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have fed on the pods that the swine ate; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired servants.” And he arose and came to his father. But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his servants, “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” And they began to make merry. (Luke 15: 11-24, RSV)

2. A Buddhist Version of the Prodigal Son story

A young man left his father and ran away. For long he dwelt in other countries, for ten, or twenty, or fifty years. The older he grew, the more needy he became. Wandering in all directions to seek clothing and food, he unexpectedly approached his native country. The father had searched for his son all those years in vain and meanwhile had settled in a certain city. His home became very rich; his goods and treasures were fabulous.

At this time, the poor son, wandering through village after village and passing through countries and cities, at last reached the city where his father had settled. The father had always been thinking of his son, yet, although he had been parted from him over fifty years, he had never spoken of the matter to anyone. He only pondered over it within himself and cherished regret in his heart, saying, “Old and worn out I am. Although I own much wealth – gold, silver, and jewels, granaries and treasuries overflowing – I have no son. Some day my end will come and my wealth will be scattered and lost, for I have no heir. If I could only get back my son and commit my wealth to him, how contented and happy would I be, with no further anxiety!”

Meanwhile the poor son, hired for wages here and there, unexpectedly arrived at his father’s house. Standing by the gate, he saw from a distance his father seated on a lion-couch, his feet on a jeweled footstool, and with expensive strings of pearls adorning his body, revered and surrounded by priests, warriors, and citizens, attendants and young slaves waiting upon him right and left. The poor son, seeing his father having such great power, was seized with fear, regretting that he had come to this place. He reflected, “This must be a king, or someone of royal rank, it is impossible for me to be hired here. I had better go to some poor village in search of a job, where food and clothing are easier to get. If I stay here long, I may suffer oppression.” Reflecting thus, he rushed away.

Meanwhile the rich elder on his lion-seat had recognized his son at first glance, and with great joy in his heart reflected, “Now I have someone to whom I may pass on my wealth. I have always been thinking of my son, with no means of seeing him, but suddenly he himself has come and my longing is satisfied. Though worn with years, I yearn for him.”

Instantly he sent off his attendants to pursue the son quickly and fetch him back. Immediately the messengers hasten forth to seize him. The poor son, surprised and scared, loudly cried his complaint, “I have committed no offense against you, why should I be arrested?” The messengers all the more hastened to lay hold of him and brought him back. Following that, the poor son, thought that although he was innocent he would be imprisoned, and that now he would surely die. He became all the more terrified, fainted away and fell on the ground. The father, seeing this from a distance, sent word to the messengers, “I have no need for this man. Do not bring him by force. Sprinkle cold water on his face to restore him to consciousness and do not speak to him any further.” Why? The father, knowing that his son’s disposition was inferior, knowing that his own lordly position had caused distress to his son, yet convinced that he was his son, tactfully did not say to others, “This is my son.”

A messenger said to the son, “I set you free, go wherever you will.” The poor son was delighted, thus obtaining the unexpected release. He arose from the ground and went to a poor village in search of food and clothing. Then the elder, desiring to attract his son, set up a device. Secretly he sent two men, sorrowful and poor in appearance, saying, “Go and visit that place and gently say to the poor man, ‘There is a place for you to work here. We will hire you for scavenging, and we both also will work along with you.'” Then the two messengers went in search of the poor son and, having found him, presented him the above proposal. The poor son, having received his wages in advance, joined them in removing a refuse heap.

His father, beholding the son, was struck with compassion for him. One day he saw at a distance, through the window, his son’s figure, haggard and drawn, lean and sorrowful, filthy with dirt and dust. He took off his strings of jewels, his soft attire, and put on a coarse, torn and dirty garment, smeared his body with dust, took a basket in his right hand, and with an appearance fear-inspiring said to the laborers, “Get on with your work, don’t be lazy.” By such means he got near to his son, to whom he afterwards said, “Ay, my man, you stay and work here, do not leave again. I will increase your wages, give whatever you need, bowls, rice, wheat-flour, salt, vinegar, and so on. Have no hesitation; besides there is an old servant whom you can get if you need him. Be at ease in your mind; I am, as it were, your father; do not be worried again. Why? I am old and advanced in years, but you are young and vigorous; all the time you have been working, you have never been deceitful, lazy, angry or grumbling. I have never seen you, like the other laborers, with such vices as these. From this time forth you will be as my own begotten son.”

The elder gave him a new name and called him a son. But the poor son, although he rejoiced at this happening, still thought of himself as a humble hireling. For this reason, for twenty years he continued to be employed in scavenging. After this period, there grew mutual confidence between the father and the son. He went in and out and at his ease, though his abode was still in a small hut.

Then the father became ill and, knowing that he would die soon, said to the poor son, “Now I possess an abundance of gold, silver, and precious things, and my granaries and treasuries are full to overflowing. I want you to understand in detail the quantities of these things, and the amounts that should be received and given. This is my wish, and you must agree to it. Why? Because now we are of the same mind. Be increasingly careful so that there be no waste.” The poor son accepted his instruction and commands, and became acquainted with all the goods. However, he still had no idea of expecting to inherit anything, his abode was still the original place and he was still unable to abandon his sense of inferiority.

After a short time had again passed, the father noticed that his son’s ideas had gradually been enlarged, his aspirations developed, and that he despised his previous state of mind. Seeing that his own end was approaching, he commanded his son to come, and gathered all his relatives, the kings, priests, warriors, and citizens. When they were all assembled, he addressed them saying, “Now, gentlemen, this is my son, begotten by me. It is over fifty years since, from a certain city, he left me and ran away to endure loneliness and misery. His former name was so-and-so and my name was so-and-so. At that time in that city I sought him sorrowfully. Suddenly I met him in this place and regained him. This is really my son and I am really his father. Now all the wealth which I possess belongs entirely to my son, and all my previous disbursements and receipts are known by this son.” When the poor son heard these words of his father, great was his joy at such unexpected news, and thus he thought, “Without any mind for, or effort on my part, these treasures now come to me.”

World-honored One! The very rich elder is the Tathagata, and we are all as the Buddha’s sons. The Buddha has always declared that we are his sons. But because of the three sufferings, in the midst of births-and-deaths we have borne all kinds of torments, being deluded and ignorant and enjoying our attachment to things of no value. Today the World-honored One has caused us to ponder over and remove the dirt of all diverting discussions of inferior things. In these we have hitherto been diligent to make progress and have got, as it were, a day’s pay for our effort to reach nirvana. Obtaining this, we greatly rejoiced and were contented, saying to ourselves, “For our diligence and progress in the Buddha-law what we have received is ample”. The Buddha, knowing that our minds delighted in inferior things, by his tactfulness taught according to our capacity, but still we did not perceive that we are really Buddha’s sons. Therefore we say that though we had no mind to hope or expect it, yet now the Great Treasure of the King of the Law has of itself come to us, and such things that Buddha-sons should obtain, we have all obtained. (Saddharmapundarika Sutra 4)

PRAYER

How often we dispense justice rather than compassion. We give people what they deserve rather than what they need.

Someone we’ve wanted to get even with for months finally leaves an opening, and we rush for it.

Our partner embarrasses us, so we wait for our chance, knowing their weak spots better than anyone because they trust us. When the chance comes, we jump at it, they’re embarrassed, we feel vindicated, and the game continues.

We can’t score points on the boss, so we bring the frustration home, waiting for someone we can score on. Then we are on our guard, for we know they’ll try to get even.

How many times in our life has this kind of behavior described us? Giving people their due, making sure they get what they deserve, not letting them off the hook, showing them that what goes around comes around, while hoping we never get the same kind of humiliating justice visited upon us.

It is this world, this very recognizable human world, into which we must bring the harder lessons of religion, the voices of our more tender mercies. It is of this world and of ourselves that we ask whether this is the highest road we can travel, the most we can expect of ourselves or others.

Christians ask “What would Jesus do?” Jews say we are commanded to love God with all our heart and soul, and to love our neighbor as ourself. Buddhists ask whether we are acting from out of the Buddha seed within us, and recognizing the Buddha seed within others. Confucius would ask whether our actions let our society move with more grace, or less. And the Tao te Ching says the great secret of life is realizing that a bad person is a good person’s job, and a good person is a bad person’s teacher.

When we look anywhere that people have tried to take seriously the human condition, we find that most of the suffering we experience comes from the way we treat one another, and the ways in which we get even for the ways in which others have treated us.

Let us remind ourselves once more of things we have always known. That two wrongs don’t make a right, that peace almost always begins through the actions of the bigger person, the person of better character. That understanding is more grown-up than undermining, and that when we score points against another by demeaning them, those points are taken out of our own moral stock.

And then … then let us ask, even in those cases where a hard justice is due, whether we, our relationships and our world are better served by justice, or by compassion. By giving someone what they deserve, or forgiving their trespasses, in the faith that they are good people doing the best they can, and they could use a break rather than a breaking.

For as wise preachers have said forever, it is by giving that we can receive, by understanding that we can be understood, and by forgiving that we may be forgiven.

It is so hard to do. Let us find the strength within and around us to do what is best and most compassionate, when it would be so much easier merely to do what is right. We seek the moral strength for these higher callings, and pray for the courage to do not what is right, but what is best.

Amen.

The Father’s Soliloquy

Do you really wonder why I did it? I hardly know how to answer.

Maybe I wondered what God would want me to do, or remembered that I am his father and he’s my son. Maybe I felt some guilt, wondered what I might have done differently, how I might have been a better father.

Some people say we’re on our own, that our mistakes are our own fault and we must pay for them. Most of my friends say that. I don’t know what they mean. Everything I’ve done in my life I’ve done as part of a family, a people, a religion, part of the whole human race. You may say those connections are invisible; I say they have supported me my whole life. If we’re alone, it is everyone’s loss and everyone’s failure. We’re not alone. Who could say such a thing?

I think of how awful he looked when he returned. What sad, desperate eyes he had. I had never seen him so completely undone, forlorn, lost, hollow, without hope or joy. He no longer approached me as my son, he no longer felt like my son.

My neighbors say he asked for this. He demanded his inheritance in advance, demanded that I give him the money I would have left him if he’d waited until I died. It’s one of our laws; sons can do that. It almost never happens, of course. For it cuts all ties to the family forevermore. They may never again make any claims on their family if they do this. Yet my son did it, and he could; it’s the law.

But to let an impersonal law rip the warmth of my son not only out of my home but out of my heart? Who could allow such a thing? No one I would want to know, no one I would want to be.

When I looked in his eyes, I saw his whole life there, from the day that red little baby came, all the growing up years, all the million little memories a father has. Silly memories, many of them, you know, the things parents notice and won’t forget.

I remember when he was young how he would get scared when it thundered. “Oh,” I’d tell him, “that’s just God. He’s upset, worried about something. But don’t worry about him, he’ll get over it. You’ll see, in the morning he’ll be all sunny again.”

It was our little joke, We must have played that thunder joke a hundred times. I remember just a few years ago – it seems like yesterday – when we were out working in the field trying to get the animals fed, and it thundered something fierce. He ignored it for awhile, then suddenly he looked up from his work and shouted “Hey Lord, we’ve got troubles too, but you don’t see us griping. Get over it!”

God, he was such a burst of life, that boy! So different from his older brother. The older one has always been so serious, so responsible. All work. Maybe he was trying to be the other grown-up after his mother died, I don’t know. He’s so good, so decent, but so rule-bound. I keep hoping he’ll make space for a little gentleness, replace some compulsion with compassion.

My younger son is almost the opposite. Oh, he worked, he did his share, but for him it was never about the work. For him, life was about joy, not jobs.

Every year at the harvest festival he would ask why we couldn’t do this much more often, why we had to make work common and joy rare. I would explain that joy is all the richer because it is so rare, that life has a rhythm, like nature. Bad times, good times, work days, holidays, seriousness, fun, it’s all too much without putting a rhythm to it. That’s why we rest on the Sabbath. That’s why we just have harvest feasts once a year, I told him.

But he never bought it. He didn’t complain about the work; maybe he should have. Instead, he kept it in until it exploded in that awful decision to leave.

My neighbors, my friends, all said good riddance, that any son who would demand his inheritance in advance was no real son anyway, that I was better off without him. Like he was a bad investment.

But if you’re a parent, you know that when he left, it broke my heart.

I think I know what he wanted. Work, duty, responsibility are so important, but they’re not enough. Where’s the softness to life, the humanity? When do our hearts touch? Only once a year at a harvest feast? That’s not enough joy. I think my son was freezing to death here, and maybe some of that’s my fault, I don’t know.

But how do you bring all that into the real world? The world you and I know, of work and duty – how do you bring compassion and love into that? It only fits at the edges, not at the center. At the center, there’s work to do.

My son wanted a different kind of world, with more life to it, more connections, more of a sense of family, something better than work and duty, that might transform our duties into activities that fed the spirit as well as the belly.

These things were in my mind when he returned. Where is there room for love in our world? How can we interrupt the endless cycles of responsibility, the functional relationships, to make it all a more gentle home for the human spirit, and for the Holy Spirit? We seem to see people only in terms of what they do or earn. My servants respect and fear me not because they really think I’m a superior person, but because I control the money, the power, their jobs. Where is the human relationship?

Why can’t we know each other as brothers and sisters, children of God? That could transform the whole world if it ever took root. I miss it too. I can’t create the new kind of world; one person can’t do that alone. But I thought I could start it by acting out of a different place, so I did it.

It was only a start. I don’t know what will come of it. But I do know the only way the world can be transformed is through people having the vision and courage to act from out of a different kind of center.

In some ways, I don’t envy my son. My act was easy. He has to live with it now, among people who don’t understand.

My older boy wants an explanation; my friends and neighbors want an explanation. They say it is a slap in my older son’s face for his dutiful work, and a slap in their face too, for it has planted irresponsible ideas in the heads of their own sons. There is this whole system of work, duty, responsibility, justice and honor, they say, and I have insulted it, maybe threatened it. If the failure to do your duty can be so easily forgiven, they say, then where is its necessity?

Did I have to have a whole philosophical system to act out of? Couldn’t I just love my son and act out of that? I don’t understand all their concerns. I’m just a father who lost his son, then found him again and threw a party to celebrate it. Wouldn’t it be a better world if others did this too?

Maybe there are implications to what I did. Perhaps this act can’t stand alone. I wonder how my younger son feels? Don’t you think he’d be grateful, or is there more to that, too?

The rabbis say that the whole substance of the Torah can be summed up simply by saying love God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. But if you owe all that to a neighbor, what do you owe your son? You must owe at least as much. Don’t you even owe more? And even if it isn’t owed, can’t you simply give it? Can’t you give more?

I don’t know. I just acted out of love for my son. Once he was dead to me and gone forever. Now he is alive again, and here. Isn’t that enough? Figuring out the rest of it is up to you.

I did what I could. I planted a seed, in the hope that it might some day grow into something that could give more shelter. It wasn’t enough, but I did what I could to tilt my world toward compassion and love, away from functional relationships and toward human relationships, you know? I did what I could. And you – what about you?

What's the Good News?

© Davidson Loehr

18 May 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Prayer

We pray not to something, but from something,

to which we must give voice;

not to escape from our life, but to focus it;

not to relinquish our mind, but to replenish our soul.

We pray that we may live with honesty:

that we can accept who we are,

and admit who we are not;

that we don’t become so deafened by pride and fear

that we ignore the still small voices within us,

that could lead us out of darkness.

We pray that we can live with trust and openness:

to those people, those experiences, and those transformations

that can save us from narrowness and despair.

But we pray differently. Some here pray to god or gods; others see it as entirely psychological and internal, some have still more creative routes to this quest for wholeness. We meet to offer our prayers, and to make all sincere expressions of the living spirit safe and welcome.

And we pray on behalf of these hopes

with an open heart, an honest soul,

and a grateful reverence for the life which has been given to us.

AMEN.

SERMON: What’s the Good News?

This sermon came as a request from some of our members who attend the SNL service. When we announced a monthly bring-a-friend Sunday, they wanted to know what they could tell their friends this place or this religion were about. They know that many Christian churches talk about the Good News they have for the world, and they want to know what good news we have to offer.

Some of this is easy to answer; some is harder.

There are purposes, reasons for coming together, that we hold in common with almost all other churches, and all of them count as good news:

1. We come here to take ourselves and our lives more seriously, to live as though this life really matters.

2. The theme of all we do here is becoming better people, partners, parents and citizens by trying to articulate and incorporate the highest ideals we can grasp.

3. Life is a gift and we gather to be grateful for it, and to mark its transitions: dedication of children, coming of age, graduation, marriage, death.

4. And we are here because we know that in return for the gift of life we must give back. We are all sustained by the webs of caring woven by those who came before us. It is our task to learn how to weave and expand that web of compassion to others, so that those in the future may look back to us with thanks, and feel obliged to continue the weaving of these fragile and essential webs of life.

5. We gather to pursue a salvation by character, because we agree with Jesus that a tree is known by its fruits, and our real beliefs are shown by how we treat ourselves and others. The Vietnamese Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hahn has written of salvation through understanding, and many here will share that. It means that nothing is hidden. No supernatural agencies need to be placated. Everything we need is always before us. It takes only the eyes to see and ears to hear it. We gather to practice learning to see and hear with those eyes and ears.

We share many beliefs here. We also differ on many beliefs. Most of the shared beliefs here are secular rather than religious. This may sound odd, but it is not. The word secular means that it is concerned with this world here and now. Also, the people who find a home in Unitarian churches tend to come from the same kind of cultural background.

Most of the values we have learned are learned from our culture. The problem with this is that not all the values a culture teaches are healthy or good.

Our culture is set up for winners and losers. This doesn’t just mean the so-called “reality” shows on television: survivor, the bachelor, the world’s strongest man, Joe the fake millionaire and the rest of them. The whole American culture is shot through with the notion that only winners deserve much. The version of capitalism we have today – which is quite different from the version of capitalism we had after W.W.II – is a zero-sum game. If worker pay and benefits rise, stock prices fall. If American workers are fired because the corporation has moved production to Mexico or China, stock prices rise. If we’re not careful, we can learn to run our lives in a zero-sum game too, if we absorb some of the most unwise lessons of our culture. But looking at interpersonal relationships in this way leads to dehumanized lives.

You could say that all Unitarian churches are filled with a bunch of cultural liberals who are working out their different paths to salvation. By “liberal” I mean that most of you here today share a whole list of cultural values that are usually identified as liberal, though I think they’re really much broader. Let’s check some of this out with an informal poll. You probably didn’t study for today’s sermon, didn’t know there would be a pop quiz, but there is.

The older people here were products of the civil rights movements of the 1950s – 1970s. The ideas of individual rights and individual freedoms are ideas they value highly. They are overwhelmingly in favor of women’s rights, civil rights for all, gay rights, the rights of any and all people to have the ability to pursue both success and happiness. How many of those here over 45 share these beliefs and values?

(Show of hands)

And the younger people here share those values, whether you got them from your parents or your peers. For how many of you under 45 is this true?

(Hands)

The people who come to Unitarian churches and stay tend to have an optimistic view of human beings. Rather than thinking we are all born sinful or evil, the vast majority here believe that while we are capable of both good and evil, we are basically good, and can be trusted. This attitude goes way back. There was a 19th century joke that Universalists said God was too good to condemn us, and Unitarians believed we were too good to be condemned. I suspect most of you here also believe that people are basically good and can be trusted.

(Hands)

You’ll find a broad and deep concern for the environment, expressed in many ways, from our Xeriscaped garden and playground area to the Fair Trade coffee we buy for our coffee hours and the paper we recycle in the office. Virtually everyone here tends to see that we are all interrelated, and that caring for the environment is to be valued over doing long-term harm by exploiting the environment for short-term profit. How many of you share these concerns?

(Hands)

These are secular and cultural values, not really religious ones, but for many here they are their religion. They are the ways we care for each other and our world.

These values came most recently from the civil rights movements. But they go back to the founding of our country: to the Bill of Rights, the whole notion of individual rights, and the line from the Declaration of Independence that says we are all created equal, with an equal right to the pursuit of happiness.

And the history of Unitarians becoming active in social and political causes in the U.S. is a history of people acting to try and make laws more equitable, to favor the masses over the classes, the empowerment of the many over the empowerment of the few, and a sense of equality for all, regardless of race, sex, sexual orientation or belief.

The secular values that come from the civil rights and individual rights movements are mostly compassionate. Even when they didn’t do well they meant well. There are plenty of arguments that school busing was a bad idea, that affirmative action became a quota system that left many black people worse off than they were before, while discriminating against other minorities. Women scholars have criticized the excesses of the women’s movement for, among other things, weakening alimony and child support payments that made the lives of many women worse rather than better. Others say that paying huge sums into education didn’t work because the liberal educational philosophy was too permissive and loose, centered not on educating children but on making them feel good about themselves.

So the deeds done by cultural liberals may not always be wise or good, though the intent was.

And this goes all the way back in our history. Unitarians have almost always acted on behalf of the weak rather than the strong. The one time I know they did not do this is instructive. In the 1850s there was a progressive Unitarian preacher named Theodore Parker who fought for the abolition of slavery, for women’s rights and for prison reform. The more elite Unitarians of Boston – referred to then as the Boston Brahmins – would not allow Parker to preach in any Boston pulpit because some of them supported slavery, and others didn’t think it was polite to mix religious beliefs with political action. Today, we look back on Parker with pride, and seldom mention the others.

The notion of enslaving people with chains or with unlivable wages, of treating them like tools we can use for our own ends, has run counter to some strains of American culture since the nation began, and the overwhelming majority of people who find a home in Unitarian churches come from those more altruistic strains. So you’re surrounded by people, most of whom will stand for the masses against the classes, for the rights of the disempowered against those whose power enslaves them. Yes, it is a kind of political orthodoxy.

Like all orthodoxies, the political orthodoxy found in Unitarian churches tends to exert a pressure on what you feel comfortable saying out loud. This isn’t good news.

The problem with orthodoxies of any kind is that we tend to exalt our kind of people. You see it in political gatherings all the time. A Republican writer like Ann Coulter goes on national press shows to say that while there are both good and less good Republicans, there are no good Democrats. And local Democrats put bumper stickers on their cars that say, “Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.”

The few times I’ve attended the Unitarian General Assembly, it has always felt like a political assembly of Democrats and Green Party activists, not a religious gathering. When we’re surrounded by people who share our biases, it is almost impossible to avoid slipping into the narcissism that sees “our kind” as saved, the other kind as damned, or at least as second-rate citizens: “There are no good Democrats…. Friends don’t let friends vote Republican.”

The reason that our shared secular values count for so much here, and count as good news, is because they are the values that shape our world and our lives. People say that Unitarians can believe anything they want, but that isn’t really true. Our individual religious beliefs are like variations on shared themes. But the shared themes are not negotiable. They are those basic aims that all decent and noble people have always had. Things like:

1. becoming better people, partners, parents and citizens. That’s not negotiable. If you don’t want to do this, you’re in the wrong place.

2. trying to become a blessing to the world as we pass through it. Again, that’s not negotiable.

3. trying to take ourselves and those around us more seriously, to treat them in the way we would hope to be treated by compassionate people. If you don’t care about this, you won’t – and shouldn’t – be comfortable in this church.

4. feeling ourselves to be integral and important parts of the world, interrelated with all others and with the earth itself, with an appropriate feeling of gratitude and responsibility for this gift of life. Again, this isn’t negotiable.

But how we find our way to these ends, the individual spiritual paths we take, here we have many differences. As we say even on the cover of your order of service: One church. Many beliefs.

Some think in terms of God, or several or many gods. For others, god-talk doesn’t play a role in their beliefs. Perhaps they find their home within nature, or within a more political picture of helping others through trying to enact more compassionate laws. Some are not involved in social activism at all. Some are more mystical, needing first to feel a strong inner connection to the world, to others. Perhaps outward action will come from that later.

And let’s be honest, the real day-to-day beliefs that get many of us through the day don’t have much of anything to do with any organized religion at all. There are more astrologers alive today than at all times in history combined. In France, there are more professional astrologers than priests. And many here trust astrology, more than they trust any bibles or catechisms. All those beliefs and superstitions are here, just as they’re all throughout American culture.

Don’t worry: I won’t ask for a show of hands on astrology, or on how many of us always read the fortunes hidden inside of fortune cookies.

Some of what any church is like depends on the particular gifts and style of the minister. Some preach mostly from within the Christian tradition. I try to preach in ordinary language, drawing from many different religious traditions. I agree with the Buddhist Thich Nhat Hahn that one important way in which we’re saved – by which I mean made more whole, more authentic – is through understanding. I’m interested in finding and sharing insights and stories from the wisdom traditions of the world, those teachings designed to help us live more aware and compassionate lives, not according to a creed but according to the more enduring rules of human conduct as seen in the lives and stories of our noblest specimens.

So what’s the good news to be found in a Unitarian church – specifically, this one? It’s of several kinds:

1. Cultural and secular values. Whatever your political affiliation is, my experience of you is that you have brought some of the most compassionate and altruistic values to be found in our culture, and stand at the end of a long tradition of social activism on behalf of just the people on whose behalf all the worlds religions say we should act: the disempowered, the poor, the outcast.

There are many ways in which we give form to these beliefs here. In what passes for winter in Texas, we house about fifty single homeless people here on “Freeze nights,” where around forty volunteers cook dinner and breakfast for them. It’s the largest number of single homeless people served by any church in Austin. Within the church, we have a “helping hands” group to tend to some of our members’ needs, and a first-rate listening ministry of fifteen or twenty people who went through forty hours of training plus an internship, just to learn how to become a listening minister, a quiet presence for people who could use a good ear during some tough transitions.

We have monthly split-the-plate offerings that donate over $12,000 a year to about a dozen charitable organizations outside the church. This is a place where altruism and generosity are taught and expected of us all. As I tell new members and visitors during our monthly meeting, I ask members to support the church with at least a half-tithe, to pledge 5% of your gross income before taxes. We are working toward giving at least that much of our annual budget amount to charities outside the church. We’re not there yet, but we will be.

2. And though we borrow from many religions, we are always looking for those same high and demanding values of compassion and altruism. We gather to try and become better people, partners, parents and citizens, and to try and shape our character, and our children’s’ character, into a form that can equip us to live lives of compassion and understanding, so that when we are through we can be proud of the way in which we lived, the values, the causes and the people we served.

3. We pass through here once. Let our time here be spent trying to leave the world a little better than we found it, trying to become a blessing to ourselves and others. We seek to serve our highest values, and to serve those values through our treatment of our fellow humans.

Twenty centuries ago, Jesus described such a world as the kingdom of God. Before him, the Jews had called it the world to come, and their highest teaching was also to love God with all their hearts and to love their neighbors as themselves. The Buddha believed that when we could see through the illusions that cause us so much suffering, we would see that every creature on earth calls for our understanding and compassion. And Hindus bow when they meet you: not to you, but to the god within you.

Many of you have seen sets of those little Russian dolls that all nest inside each other. We’re like that. We each contain many people, and the influences of all who have touched our soul. And deep down, we contain more. Buddhists say we each contain a Buddha seed. The Christian mystic Meister Eckhart called it a God seed. But it’s there, it’s there inside us all. With the right kind of nourishment and care, those seeds can sprout, then bloom, and transform the world. The process can start any time, any place. Even here, even now. And that too is Good News.

Science, Religion and Life

© Davidson Loehr

11 May 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Prayer

It is Mothers’ Day. Let us give thanks

– For mothers, whether they gave birth to the children or adopted them;

– For mothers who have lost a child, through miscarriage, abortion, adoption, or death, and who still feel the loss.

– For those who have never had children but who miss being mothers, and who are mothers in their hearts who express their nurture in other ways;

– For our own mothers, and theirs, as far back as our living memory will carry us;

– And for all who have lost their mothers, and still feel that loss.

It is Mothers’ Day. Let us remember all the varieties of mothers in all of our lives in deep gratitude and prayer.

Amen.

SERMON: Science, Religion and Life

We’ve come a long way since the Middle Ages, but we’re only halfway home. If you want a picture of people living in an integrated world where everything was really interconnected, just go back a thousand years. It was a very small world then. 99% of the people lived their whole lives within two or three miles of the place they were born.

They worked on the same farm, served the same prince or his successor, drank in the same tavern their whole life. There was only one religion. They attended the same church where they were baptized, married and buried. Many had just one or two priests in a lifetime. Virtually everyone but the priests was illiterate and the invention of the printing press was still four and a half centuries in the future, so there weren’t book discussion groups where intellectuals gathered to ponder disturbing ideas.

The people didn’t think about whether the world was flat or spherical, because either way, what difference would it make? They didn’t think about solar systems, galaxies, the speed of light or the ozone layer because those concepts hadn’t been invented yet. They didn’t think much about abstract concepts like knowledge or wisdom, though medieval theologians did. And what medieval theologians thought about knowledge and wisdom is still instructive for us today. Knowledge was called “scientia” in Latin, the word from which we later got our word science. Wisdom was “sapientia”; it’s nowhere near as famous as science.

They knew that knowledge made you certain, and could make you smug. Wisdom, on the other hand, could make you whole, help you integrate what you knew and who you are into a character who might live happily and well, a blessing to yourself and others. So the only knowledge they thought really important was the kind of knowledge that might lead to wisdom.

Knowledge made them certain, wisdom made them whole. It was a wonderful distinction that would play a bigger role after the medieval world came apart. And the medieval world started coming apart during the 12th and 13th centuries. By the 16th century, the Church had split. There were Lutherans, Calvinists, Reformed preachers, Mennonites, and by the end of the 16th century there were Unitarians as well.

Now your religious certainty extended only as far as the walls of your church. The people in the church across the street were equally certain, but about different things. Books were being printed, people were reading them and getting all sorts of new ideas about God, life, the world, everything.

And in the infant sciences – the new disciplines arising to seek knowledge – Copernicus and Galileo were shattering the certainty about the earth, the universe, and our place in it. They said the earth moved; what a crazy idea! It certainly didn’t seem like it moved. You could live a whole life and never feel it move. But these early scientists said it moved because they had knowledge of things that didn’t come from the concerns of everyday living, but from an intellectual curiosity. It was an early sign that knowledge was becoming unhooked from wisdom.

Of course the leaders of every church thought that what was proclaimed in all other churches was also knowledge coming unhooked from wisdom, and they yearned for a simple world again, one that fit within their understanding. That’s a strange idea: wanting a world that’s no bigger than our understanding. It’s like carrying around one bucket of ocean water and pretending it’s the whole ocean. But it was all they could carry. They weren’t so different from us there. Even today, I’m not sure any of us is carrying more than a few bucketfuls of the universe’s truths.

Some of this new knowledge threatened so many old certainties you could be killed just for believing it. Catholics and Protestants didn’t agree on most sacraments – Catholics said there were seven, Protestants had dropped all but two, communion and baptism. But they all agreed that infants must be baptized or they would go to hell. In the middle of the 16th century, the Mennonites said that infant baptism wasn’t mentioned in the bible, and that adults must be baptized again as a sign of their affirmation of the right religious beliefs.

This sounds pretty ho-hum today, if not just downright boring. But Catholics, Lutherans, Calvinists and the rest thought it was a capital crime. They hunted down Mennonites everywhere and killed them for being certain about the wrong things.

Religious warfare was breaking out all over. It wasn’t safe to be sure unless your certainties agreed with the church’s.

When others could shrug off the beliefs you were certain you needed to live, and yet they lived quite well, it was a sign that maybe your own certainties weren’t grounded in truth after all, but only in old habits and small visions. And few people can live with that fear. In August of 1572, it boiled over in France in the St. Bartholomew’s Day Massacre, where French Catholics tried to provide the Final Solution for the Protestant Problem by killing 30,000 of them in one day and about 100,000 of them in one week.

And this bloody and barbaric state of affairs, odd as it seems, was the manger in which our modern sciences were born.

In the early 1600s, a young genius named Descartes, thinking he was saving Western civilization, came up with a new definition of knowledge, to make it safe from the churches by separating it from the kind of knowledge religion cared about.

Religion cared most about personal and subjective knowledge. Who are we, how are we to live, what’s the meaning of life, how should we treat one another – that sort of thing.

Descartes’ new kind of knowledge was much more restricted. It excluded all the personal and subjective questions about life’s meaning and purpose. He defined a new territory for knowledge, which included only impersonal, objective, factual things. Not how to live, but how to understand objective things like numbers, rocks, trees, bridges, and the laws of nature. Knowledge, in other words, was separated from wisdom, and exalted in its own right as “science.”

That’s why to this day the only time sciences get attacked by churches is when their knowledge has implications for who we are and how we are to live: evolution, birth control, cloning.

To put it another way, Descartes succeeded so well he helped create new problems we still haven’t solved. Knowledge and wisdom have been so successfully separated that today we struggle with how to forge a new synthesis of sciences and religions, facts and values, objective truths and their meaning or use in personal, subjective living. That’s what I meant when I said we’ve come a long way from the Middle Ages, but we’re only half way home.

Last week, Cathy used a wonderful phrase from Emily Dickinson I want to use again. Our souls, said Dickinson, must stand ajar if we are to let the world in. Descartes taught us to seek objective certainty rather than personal wholeness, and nearly all of our sciences have followed him. Our sciences have succeeded spectacularly within this narrower and more impersonal definition of a knowledge that’s been separated from questions of how we should live, how to bring our heads and hearts together in an integrated life lived with hope and trust.

The sciences have now defined what count as facts, what counts as knowledge and truth. And their success undermined and discredited the orthodox claims of religion. This would have broken Descartes’ heart, though it was he who defined this new kind of knowledge that left the concerns of our hearts out.

Many, many people have left the religions of their childhood after becoming bored or disgusted with their religion’s teachings about heaven, hell, miracles and a capricious God who was alternately and unpredictably loving or vengeful. Many of those people feel so deeply betrayed it will be years, if ever, before they will be willing to take something called religion seriously again. We have some of those people in this room. And some who are here have partners they love who won’t come because, after all, this is a church, and they think all churches lie.

Some studies have been saying for over sixty years that 40% of Americans attend church regularly. Other studies say the numbers are faked, that the real number is more like 20%, one in five. This means that 60-80% of Americans don’t think the messages heard in churches are worth getting out of bed for.

So religion, which is supposed to be speaking about who we are and how we should live to make our lives most fulfilling, stammers because while it has some wisdom hidden in its myths and stories, it can’t do knowledge as well as the sciences, so we don’t trust it. Our doors are shut.

But while sciences have knowledge, they are not about finding wisdom. They can say the earth is 4-5 billion years old, that we evolved over millions of years, that there’s neither a heaven above the sky nor a hell below the ground. But sciences can’t tell us why or how that needs to matter to any of us. What would make any of that important or necessary knowledge? Most people in history lived their whole lives never knowing any of it, and they lived full and happy lives.

If someone lives well believing they have a guardian angel or that a god or goddess is watching over them, and it dispels their fears and lets them live in peace and confidence, what difference could it make whether it’s true? Is it a contest? Is there a prize involved? Scientific knowledge may make us smug, but smugness isn’t really what we’re after, is it?

Aren’t we after different questions, that aren’t scientific at all? Questions like:

What should I serve with my life?

How do I balance greed and fairness?

How should I live so I’ll be proud to have lived that way?

What do I owe to myself, to those I love, to my community, to history?

What are the moral responsibilities of power?

What does survive after I’m gone, of the things I loved?

Please understand that I’m not against sciences; I’m for them. Good sciences can save us from bad religion. No religious teachings should be protected from any and all critical scientific questions. We seek a peace that passes understanding, not that bypasses it.

And good religion can and should save us from bad science. No scientific assertion should ever be protected against questions like “So what? What does this have to do with me, who and what I love or serve with the days and years of my life? Maybe in a narrow sense this is true, but so what?”

The attitude of certainty that we have been trained to seek for almost 400 years has become, ironically, the enemy of both honest science and honest religion. It’s not that all certainty is bad, only that certainty which is about half-truths, about facts unhooked from values, data divorced from human meanings.

An example, for this Mother’s Day, is the recent attempt by some groups in Texas to prevent gay and lesbian couples from adopting children. These people are certain that “parents” must mean always and only one person of each sex, that it’s about the sex of the people playing the roles of parents, rather than the roles they are playing.

They’re saying that bad parents of mixed sex would be preferred to good parents of the same sex.

But no. That’s too ignorant of nature to be good science, for Nature’s God created many species in which both homosexuality and bisexuality are found. And it’s too hateful to be good religion.

It’s the role of mothering and fathering that defines mothers and fathers, not what sex they happened to be born.

But we can’t learn it when certainty has slammed our minds shut, or slammed our hearts and souls shut. We cannot learn either truth or love with our minds and hearts shut. Unless we want to dwell in yesterday’s ignorance and bigotries, both our minds and our souls must be left ajar.

Now you may wonder: Can we be certain of this? Yes, we can. Because that’s the one kind of certainty that can get us closer to honest science and honest religion, the kind of knowledge that can lead to wisdom. It is the certainty that we cannot hold the ocean in our buckets, cannot restrict life to the horizons of our own understanding, can not imprison love or parenting in our own small habits and biases.

That’s what we can always be certain of: that there is more. There is always more. More than we know, more than we dare to hope. There is more. There is always more. You can count on it.

The Goat in the Tree and Other Miracles

© Cathy Harrington

4 May 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.

-Emily Dickinson

Presenting a sermon about miracles to Unitarian Universalists could be a rather risky proposition. I decided it would depend on whether an acceptable definition of “miracle” could be found. So, I’ve done my homework. I looked in my Dictionary of Theological Terms and found “miracle” defined as “an event caused by a special divine action that does not follow the normal laws of nature.” Oops. That definitely won’t work. The Oxford dictionary has a supernatural definition followed by the more acceptable one, “remarkable occurrence.” That’s more like it.

Then there’s that course you can take. Really! It’s aptly titled, A Course in Miracles, and has everything you ever wanted to know about miracles. This book has been widely read since the late seventies, and is the inspiration and source for the Principles of Attitudinal Healing. The entire text, containing three volumes, claims to have been channeled over a seven-year period to a self-described atheistic professor of Medical Psychology at Columbia University. It is a “spiritual psychology” that emphasizes “application rather than theory, and experience rather than theology,” and claims “a universal theology is impossible, but a universal experience is not only possible but necessary.” (Manual for Teachers P. 77)

The course subscribes to the belief that our relationships are the path to inner peace or, another way of saying the “kingdom of God.” The “universal experience” is that everybody on the planet has relationships, whether we want them or not. Our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our co-workers, and our friends and neighbors, and even the strangers we meet in elevators, on the street, in passing cars. Everyone. Especially those people who push all of your buttons. These people, the Course says, are your saviors. Because they have something to teach you.

I discovered Unitarian Universalism completely by accident several years ago when I was arranging a workshop on A Course in Miracles. After much searching (since I was living in the bible belt and since it was “channeled,” A Course in Miracles was considered blasphemy and was blackballed by most churches there), I finally found a study group, which met twice a week at the Clemson UU Fellowship. Most of the group members belonged to the church, and I soon realized I had found my spiritual home among them, which I have since looked upon as a “miracle” of sorts in itself.

My father, who began studying the text before it was actually published, introduced me to A Course in Miracles and after many years of dismissing it, I began to explore it with the help of Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love. Williamson converts the somewhat formal language of the Course to appealing down-to-earth and often humorous allegories. I was desperate for anything at this point, since I realized Christian Science couldn’t be my religion, I had wandered from church to church disillusioned and spiritually homeless. The Course served as the “bridge” or as in the Buddhist story, the “raft” that carried me to the shores of Unitarian Universalism. Where I am constantly challenged, enriched, and presently somewhat employed.

A Course in Miracles says, “Miracles are natural. When they do not occur something has gone wrong.” [1] There are fifty principles of miracles listed in the first chapter. The first principle of miracles, ” “Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle” is best explained in the context of my friend, Cheryl, who came a couple of weeks ago to help me facilitate a workshop on Death and Dying.

Cheryl is one of those special people to whom every day is a gift, and she sees miracles everywhere she goes because she extends pure unadulterated love to everyone that comes in contact with her. Cheryl made me realize that I had forgotten how to have fun! We laughed so much that our sides ached.

This sermon title was inspired when Cheryl and I, took off for an adventure in the Texas hill country. With map in hand, we headed out to find the “Willow City Loop” to see the wildflowers.

We stopped on the way to buy a disposable camera and SNACKS. Fritos and Trail Mix with m &m’s and away we went munching and chatting and laughing all the way. The weather was perfect and the wildflowers were even more beautiful than we could have imagined, and we took turns posing dramatically in the middle of sunlit fields of bluebonnets for souvenir photographs.

We took the cut off towards Fredericksburg and enjoyed the beautiful fields and farms, when suddenly, as we passed a lovely country home with a slew of goats in the yard near the house, and we noticed a goat straddled in the fork of a tree! I saw it first, and said, “Oh my goodness”, and as I drove past, Cheryl saw it, too. We were both stunned! A goat in a tree?!

“Darn! We should have stopped for a picture! No one will ever believe us.” I said, so we turned around and went back.

Well, by then the goats had headed toward the back of the property by then, and we had missed our chance.

“Well, shoot.” I said, “Let that be a lesson. We blew it. We should have seized the moment. Carpe diem, and all that.”

“But, it’s perfect, don’t you see?” Cheryl explained to me with that big glowing smile of hers. “We were given the gift of that insight because we missed the picture.”

“Oh, alright.” I said, “Maybe it was a gift. Hmm, there’s gotta be a sermon in this somewhere.”

It reminded me of Albert Einstein, who said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, and the other is as though everything is a miracle.” He makes it sound like we have a choice? Well, that reminds me of A Course in Miracles, which says, “Choose again.” If we are willing to see things differently, then maybe anything can become a miracle. All that’s required is the willingness, a shift in perception, a different way of looking at it.

C. S. Lewis said, “Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the world in letters too large for some of us to see.”

When we got to Fredericksburg, we decided to have a late lunch and explore the shops. We wandered into a music store that had a unique clothing boutique in the back. Those frilly romantic clothes that look great on Cheryl, but would make me look like Big Bird in drag. The owner of the store was a perky attractive young woman, who looked fabulous in the clothes she was selling, greeted us with a saccharin southern drawl,

“Are you two having fun today?”

“We sure are!” I answered because Cheryl was way too busy shopping, “Why, we even saw a goat in a tree!”

“Well, you must have been driving in my neighborhood.” The young woman said, “The goats are always in the trees around my house.”

“What?” I protested, “Cheryl, did you hear what she said? That woman just reduced our “miracle” to an everyday common occurrence! Apparently, goats in trees are ho hum in Fredericksburg!”

Still curious about goats in trees, and not quite believing that woman, when I got home, I looked on the Internet and typed in “tree-climbing goats,” and guess what? GOATS CLIMB TREES.

Apparently, in Morocco, the goats like the fruit of the argon tree and they get up as high as 20 feet in the trees to reach the fruit. The goats of Morocco are quite a tourist attraction. Someone ought to tell the folks in Fredericksburg that they’re missing the boat. I used to own goats, trees, too, and I can tell you I never saw a goat in a tree before. Who knew? Not only that, I even found a music group with the name, Goats in Trees. I kid you not.

So, that’s it! It’s really that simple. Miracles happen all around us and we choose to see them as miracles or as just common ho hum occurrences. Have you ever noticed that whatever your focus is that all of a sudden you see it everywhere? For example, when I was pregnant it seemed as if the whole world was pregnant. Everywhere I looked there were pregnant women! And now I mostly just see women fanning themselves like mad, saying, “Is it hot in here, or is it just me?” Our perception is colored by what is in our minds. We create the world we live in.

As Emily Dickinson said, “the soul must stand ajar to allow the ecstatic experience.” Ajar. What does she mean exactly? Well, I looked it up. It means, “slightly open.” So I take that to mean to leave a little space in your day, in your mind, and don’t walk around so focused that you become blind to possibility, or at least the willingness to be surprised, or caught off guard by life’s miracles.

When I was living in Alaska, my oldest son, whose degree is in Biological Sciences, was always nagging me to go on a hike with him. He was the perfect guide, and I finally agreed to get out and see the Alaska wilderness, so I used the excuse to buy new hiking boots. So off we went and there I was bouncing through the woods like a kid with new PF flyers, when he said to me,

“Ma, you’re killing me. Slow down!”

I was so surprised because I thought he meant that he couldn’t keep up with me, his old mother, but then he said,

“Mom, slow down, you are missing everything!”

“What? What am I missing?” I grumbled.

“There.” He said, pointing first to broken twigs and leaves, the clues, and then hidden underneath the leaves, I saw the perfect tracks of a moose. And then he pointed out a spectacular rare flower blooming in solitary brilliance with rays of the sun beaming down on it.

The Buddha once said, “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”

Early one morning, when the tide was out, he took me to the beach where we walked on rocks into Resurrection Bay and he pointed out thousands of starfish clinging to the rocks under the water. I had never seen living starfish, and I never would have seen them either, because I seem to go bouncing through life with my head up and my eyes straight ahead. I was astounded at the brilliant and varied colors! Reds, blues, purples and yellows. It was truly remarkable. And it was a “miracle” I would have missed, had my son not been the one to yank my “soul ajar”. Just one of the millions of miracles of nature that most of us never see.

There are so many stories to share about the “common” sorts of miracles that I could go on forever, but I would like to share another kind of miracle. The miracle of forgiveness, that can happen in an instant when we are willing to see things differently, to prop our souls slightly ajar. A simple shift in perception can make all the difference, but it requires the willingness.

So, I’ll share one last story. This story comes from Anne Lamott’s book, Traveling Mercies. [2] She has a wonderful earthy way of story telling that is refreshingly honest, funny, and moving. I loved this story so much that I wanted to share it with you. This is Ann’s story of learning how to forgive.

Ann was working hard on trying to forgive, and following the advice of C. S. Lewis, she decided that “instead of trying to forgive her entire family or ALL of her old boyfriends at once, she would begin with someone she barely knew and hadn’t hated for very long.” The enemy, or “enemy lite,” was the parent of one of the children in her son, Sam’s class at school. Ann knew this woman was a single mom, like herself, and probably lonely. But, “she had mean eyes.”

Admittedly, Ann was having trouble adjusting after Sam started school and she wasn’t terribly organized. “There was so much to remember; schedules, homework, and she wasn’t able to help out in the class like the other mothers who were always cooking holiday theme-park treats for the class and drove the kids on field trips and read all the papers the school sent home. Which Ann felt was rather “show-offy.”

The “enemy” was the mom of Sam’s best friend and “this woman took it upon herself to “help” Ann and often looked at her like she was a dazed alien space traveler.” And somehow, Sam was behind in reading. The enemy’s child was reading “proficiently,” an “early reader.” Sam was definitely classified as a “late reader.” “The enemy decided to take a special interest in Sam’s reading, and the next thing you know she began slipping early first grade reading books to Ann, with a patronizing smile.”

Much to the humiliation of Sam, his mother always seemed to forget that on Wednesdays, school let out an hour early, and he would be stuck waiting with his teacher until she showed up, an hour late.

“Somehow the enemy found out and showed up at Ann’s door to pick up Sam for a field trip wearing a down jacket and latex bicycle shorts. The enemy, who wears latex bicycle shorts nearly every day, because she can, weighs about eighty pounds. Because she has gone to the gym every single day since her divorce and doesn’t have an ounce of fat on her body.” Ann considered an “act of aggression against all the other mothers who forgot to work out after their kids were born.” “And one more thing, and this was the clincher, “This woman still had a Ronald Reagan bumper sticker on her white Volvo seven years after he left office.”

The day of the field trip, she said sweetly, “I just want you to know, Annie, that if you have any other questions about how the classroom works, I’d really love to be there for you.” Ann writes that, “she smiled back at her, all the while thinking thoughts so awful that if spoken out loud they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.”

So Ann prayed for a miracle, because “Sam loved that woman’s son, and because Sam is such a sweet kid, it made Ann want to be a “better person.” “The kind of person who doesn’t hate someone just because she wears bicycle shorts.” So, she wrote the “enemy’s” name on a piece of paper and put it in a box that she uses as “God’s box,” and then prayed, “HELP!”

Not long after that, the “enemy” asked Ann if she could have a copy of the book she had written about being a mother, called Operating Instructions. It’s a book filled with “black humor and is quite slanted”, so Ann tried to stall but the enemy insisted. So “filled with a low-grade sense of doom”, she gave in and handed over an autographed copy.”

Days later, she ran into the enemy at the grocery store and when she saw Ann she said, “I read your book.” Then she winked and said, “Maybe it’s a good thing Sam doesn’t read.”

That was it. THAT was the last straw. After going home and venting her anger on the phone with anyone who would listen, Ann got out her note to God and said, “Look, hon. I think we need bigger guns.”

Well, Ann had the willingness, after all, SHE WAS PRAYING. But the situation wasn’t getting better. One day, when Sam had spent the night with his friend, Ann reluctantly went to pick him up, hoping she wouldn’t get stuck having to stay for tea.

The enemy’s house always seems to not only be neat and clean, and “filled with that show-offy kind of stuff that says “I-have-more-money-than you,” plus “you’re-out-of-shape stuff,” but the place had the smell of something baking, something wonderfully “sweet and yeasty.” God, it was enough to make you crazy! Ann observed that obviously the woman has a serious “baking problem.”

The “enemy” smiled that disgustingly sweet smile as she poured a cup of tea for Ann. Trying to get Sam and escape as fast as she could, Ann searched for Sam’s shoes, while making excuses about not having time for tea. The shoes were by the door next to his friend’s sneakers and as she reached for Sam’s shoes she peeked inside her rival’s son’s sneakers, just to see how “her kid lined up in shoe size.”

“It was then that she got it!” The miracle she had been praying for. “The veil dropped. She was able to see that she was the one that was as mad as a hatter. SHE was the one with the problem, worrying whether Sam was OK. She was the one feeling insecure that she was out of shape.” Ann finally realized, in that moment, that “she had been trying to get this poor woman to carry all of this because she was too hurt to carry it herself.” She had been projecting all of her “stuff” onto the “enemy”.

“The “enemy” who had been pouring her tea, taking care of her son, and had even forgiven Ann for writing a book that trashed all of her political beliefs.”

The enemy wasn’t an evil person at all! She was just a woman who was trying to get through life with some style and grace, a fellow traveler in life who was reaching out and offering what she could to help. She was Ann’s “savior” because she gave Ann the opportunity to get in touch with parts of herself that needed to be healed; her own self-doubt and insecurity. Had Ann not been willing, had she not left her soul ever so slightly ajar through her prayers and desire to learn forgiveness, she might have gone on forever “hating the enemy.” There was such a relief to be rid of all that resentment, Ann “felt so happy that she literally got drunk on that cup of tea in the woman’s living room.” The sweet elixir of forgiveness.

There is a saying that “an echo in the woods always returns your call.” [3] The truth is that most of the messages we think life is sending us are the echoes of our inner voices, our inner angels or demons, returning to haunt us or to bless us. It’s up to us to decide the tone of the call that we shout into the woods. It’s our choice whether or not to even shout at all. We must be willing to leave our souls ajar, our hearts and minds open, and our voices infused with harmonic tonalities of love.

Because, it is we who choose the “echo” that ultimately will determine the quality and the quantity of “miracles” in our lives.

 


 

[1] A Course in Miracles. Glen Ellen, CA. Foundation for Inner Peace. 1992. P. 3.

[2] Lamott, Ann. Traveling Mercies. New York. Anchor Books. 1999. P 128-137.

[3] Ibid. P. 137.

The ABCs of Easter

Davidson Loehr

Cathy Harrington

20 April 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button below.

THE STORIES OF EASTER: Four Gospel Easter Stories

Cathy Harrington

The four gospel versions of Easter morning are very different. All four were compiled from stories that began as an oral tradition during the first decades following the death of Jesus. The first three gospels are called the Synoptic Gospels because they “view together” the events of Jesus’ life. They shared common sources and it is apparent that Matthew and Luke used Mark as a “general outline”. The fact that four very different Easter stories were placed in the canon is sufficient evidence that these gospel accounts were not meant to be historical. Based on events, maybe, but as the stories were told over and over with different viewpoints, they grew and changed and they were naturally embellished. The intent of four different stories is to convey to the reader the impact that Jesus’ life and death had on his disciples, and to open the reader’s heart to the possibility of going deeper than an intellectual or literal understanding.

Something extraordinary happened. How was it that the followers of Jesus, who were portrayed in all four gospels as being rather stupid and clumsy, as just “not getting it” or even worse as cowards when they fled the crucifixion and deserted their master. How did these disciples begin again and come to a new understanding of the message of their beloved Teacher?

This is the miracle of new life that springs out of the resurrection. As liberal theologians have said for at least two centuries, the resurrection happened in the mind of the believers, not the body of Jesus.

The good news is that these stories don’t have to be thrown away. These ancient stories carry within them a symbolic message of hope, as do stories of Buddha, Moses, Mohammed, or Krishna. The kingdom of God is within us and around us, we simply don’t see it. Like the disciples of Jesus, we just don’t get it. It has been accurately observed that the patron saint of the Unitarian Universalists, if we had one, would be Doubting Thomas.

I invite you to open your hearts and minds to the possibility of hearing the Easter stories in a new way, as if you have come to hear “the good news” for the first time. We’ll begin with Easter story from the gospel of Mark, the earliest and the shortest gospel.

The First Easter Story

After the crucifixion and death of Jesus, the gospel of Mark reveals that the body of Jesus was taken by the man named Joseph, who wrapped him in a linen cloth and laid his body in a tomb that had been hewn out of rock. He then rolled a stone against the opening of the tomb. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses saw where the body was laid. Sabbath ended at sundown on Saturday.

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome brought spices so that they might go and anoint the body of Jesus. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb, worrying about who will roll away the huge stone.

But when they looked up, they saw the stone had already been rolled back. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.”

And once the women got outside, they ran away from the tomb, because great fear and excitement got the better of them. And they didn’t breath a word of it to anyone: talk about terrified.[1]

“A proclamation of the good news (a gospel) that ends with the women saying “nothing to anyone, because they were afraid,” is troubling.”[2]

Matthew’s story of the empty tomb is significantly different. Pilate ordered soldiers to guard the tomb to be sure that the disciples didn’t steal the body because Jesus had told them in three days he would be raised up, and Pilate feared they would tell everyone that Jesus had been raised from the dead, and the last deception would be far worse than the first. Matthew included in his story divine intervention in order to frustrate the hostile plot, in the form of a great earthquake; and an angel descending like lightening, as he rolled back the stone. The guards trembled and were struck with fear like dead men. And the angel’s message to the women that Jesus had risen was to run with both fear and joy to tell the disciples. Jesus himself appears to them. And the finale comes when Jesus appears to the Eleven on a mountain in Galilee.”[3] In the final verse, after commissioning the disciples to make followers of all people, Jesus tells them, “I am with you all days until the end of the age.”

Luke tactfully expresses dissatisfaction with the previous narratives about Jesus and implies his gospel will set the record straight.”[4] “Although Luke follows Mark’s empty tomb story, he greatly modifies it, adding clarifications, such as the dramatic question, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?”

“He deviates from Mark’s indication that the risen Jesus would appear in Galilee, and concentrates his three appearance scenes around Jerusalem, the city that symbolizes Judaism. Luke is particularly insistent on the proof of Jesus’ appearance, for his Jesus eats food and affirms that he has flesh and bones. The final appearance ends with an ascension, as Jesus is carried up to heaven after blessing the disciples.”[5]

Exclusive to Luke is the appearance on the road to Emmaus, when the disciples meet Jesus on the road and don’t recognize him until he breaks bread with them.

This scene has particular significance in preparing for the Eucharistic breaking of bread in Christianity.[6]

And finally, we come to John, the last gospel written. The Gospel of John is dramatically different from the synoptic gospels. The focus is on the divinity of Jesus. The later Christian creeds were based on the theological language of John’s gospel much more than that of the synoptic gospels. The words of the Johannine Jesus are often ambiguous-even deliberately confusing his listeners, conveying two levels of meaning at once.” This is important in understanding that this symbolic gospel was never meant to be taken literally.

In John, Mary sees two angels at the tomb dressed in white and they ask why she is weeping and she responds, “They have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.” When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not know that it was Jesus. He speaks to her and she mistakes him for the gardener !

Jesus said to her, “Do not hold on to me, because I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'” Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord!”

Then Jesus stood among the disciples and said, “Peace be with you.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin) one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.”

Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

The story ends with this statement of purpose by the author:

“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.”

Davidson Loehr

No matter how we sugar-coat it, the Easter stories are harder for most of us to give a fair hearing to than myths from a dozen other religions that aren’t so familiar. It’s easier for us to hear stories about how the earth rests on the back of an elephant, which rests on the back of a giant tortoise, which rests on an infinite line of tortoises, all the way down. Because we know they don’t really mean it literally.

In the Science and Religion class I’m teaching here now, I’ve talked about learning to hear religious myths at three different levels, which we’re calling A, B and C.

Level A is the superficial level, where everything is just taken literally, as though these were stories about elephants and turtles, or a dead man who came back to life and walked with his friends, who couldn’t recognize a man they’d just seen three days before. Taken literally, they don’t make any sense at all.

Level B is the liberal rather than the literal reading, where we understand these are stories written in the language of poetry, symbols and metaphors, that the stories are never about supernatural things, but always about being opened to greater depths of understanding here and now. That’s easy to do with the elephants, harder to do with the stories about Jesus because they were told as though they were to be taken literally, even though most of the men who wrote the Bible kept saying not to take them that way.

And level C is very advanced, and is not intellectual at all. That’s where we see that these aren’t stories just to be understood, but to be embodied. They are meant to change us.

But even at level B, what are we to do with these Easter stories? Twenty centuries of liberal Christian thinkers have told us that we must not pretend they are meant to be taken literally.

Still, it’s hard to hear them fresh, when we’ve spent so many years hearing them taught as incredible supernatural tales. We’ve included a hymn in this service that will push the comfort zone of many, probably including me, because it is hard to hear these myths with fresh ears (“Jesus Christ is Risen Today”). This Easter, Cathy and I decided we would try, and would ask you to try with us, to hear the liberal message hidden beneath these old literal stories.

So we revisit some of the stories of Easter again, to see if we can hear them not at level A, but as stories that take place at levels B and C, within you and me. Taken literally, they’re only Christian stories, and not very interesting ones at that. But at the deeper levels, they are human stories, even universal stories, with roots in every human soul that has learned how to listen. So this is a test, to see if we can hear the Easter message without getting distracted by the mere miracles.

Prayer

(by Cathy Harrington)

Will I recognize you, O Lord, in broken bread, in realities harsh,

 and dreams that remain only dreams?

 At those moments when terror fills my heart,

 Touch the scars of lost hope,

 then shattered spirits will be healed;

 for I too, hold bread to break the grace of each day.

 Help me to walk with strangers, to allow them to unfold the good news of life; to cradle another’s pain in my heart;

 to feed the hunger of unmet needs.

 I walk to Emmaus, again and again,

 trusting that you will join me on the journey.

 With you as companion and guide, I too, will become a giver of grace. Amen.

SERMONS

“The ABC’s of Easter”

Davidson Loehr:

My take on Easter is a lot more philosophical than Cathy’s, because I’ve never been a Christian, and find it harder to get inside some of these stories than the myths of other religions. I chose that hymn we just sang (“Jesus Christ is Risen Today”) partly as a challenge to myself, to see if I could hear those words in another way. But the truth is, that while I liked singing it, I mostly just tuned the words out.

For me, Easter and Christmas are the same story. They’re both about the birth of the sacred in our lives, new life for old, the insistence that though death is real, it isn’t the final answer.

I can find that message in the stories of Jesus’ resurrection, but for me that’s always seemed a stretch, and I’ve preferred the other Easter stories, the ones nearly everyone in our society prefers: of Easter Bunnies and eggs and colorful signs of spring.

I think of a line we said in Friday’s Seder service here: “Oh God, help me to believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is!” I’ve always thought that was the real prayer of both Christmas and Easter: “Oh God, help me to believe the truth about life no matter how beautiful it is!”

This may not sound particularly Christian. But neither is it un-Christian, for Christianity’s greatest theologians have also rejected the supernaturalism of Christianity in favor of a deeper spiritual and psychological message. I’ll just choose one to share with you today, the great medieval mystic Meister Eckhart (1260-1327). He’s the man who once wrote that if the only prayer you ever said was “Thank you,” it would be sufficient. I couldn’t find anything in my two books of his works about the resurrection; it may not have interested him very much. But he did write about the incarnation, the idea that God could take a human form:

“It would be of little value for me that ‘the Word was made flesh’ for us in Christ as a person distinct from me unless he was also made flesh in me personally so that I too might be God’s son.” (Meister Eckhart, Essential Sermons…, p. 167) When he read that Christ “dwelt among us” he said it means “he dwelt among us because we have him in us. And anything takes its name and existence from what it has in it.” (Ibid., p. 168) And his most famous sound byte is that God became man so that man might become God.

For me, Eckhart goes too far there. Saying we’re God just sounds narcissistic and confusing to me. But I think, to use another of his wonderful lines, we all have a “God-seed” within us.

I think of a musical analogy. We’re not Mozart – I only need to try and write music myself to know how far from being Mozart I am (the choir performed an arrangement of mine on this date). But we have that within us which the music of Mozart can awaken. In the same say, we’re not Buddha or Jesus, but we have that within us that their words and their example can awaken.

That’s what Eckhart called our “God-seed”: something inside of us made out of infinite possibilities and unquenchable hope.

Does this sound too foreign? I don’t think so, I think you feel what I’m trying to get at through the clumsy tools of words. Though I’m not a poet, and real poets can come closer to it than I can. Here’s a famous poem by e.e. cummings that pretty much nails it. It’s his Easter poem:

i thank You God for most this amazing day:

 for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

 and a blue true dream of sky;

 and for everything which is natural

 which is infinite, which is yes.

(i who have died am alive again today,

 and this is the sun’s birthday;

 this is the birth day of life and of love and wings:

 and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing any –

 lifted from the no of all nothing – human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

 now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

If that’s the sort of thing Easter is about, then I understand it.

Something died this year. It was another year gone by, another year of your life gone by, taking with it its unfulfilled dreams, its good intentions gone awry, its sins of commission and its sins of omission. Gone forever are the chances you didn’t take, the old possibilities you wouldn’t try, the new leaves you didn’t turn over, the dozens of ways large and small that you stayed smaller when you should have become larger. The seeds you didn’t plant last year are history now, the changes you needed to make are history now and they are gone, like messages scratched in sand on the beach.

Or someone close to you died this year. Your parents, your partner, your child, a dear friend, even a pet. Someone you loved, someone who loved you died this year, and sometimes it may seem like the emptiness will never go away. It was awful. It’s still awful.

But now comes Easter again, with its indomitable promise that death shall not have the final word, that life shall triumph over death: even here, even now. And this amazing day is filled with the leaping greenly spirits of trees and a blue true dream of sky, and everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.

“Oh God, help us to believe the truth about life no matter how beautiful it is!”

“Easter Ain’t about Rabbits”

Cathy Harrington:

I have always been astounded that you can go to church on Easter in a UU church and never even hear Jesus mentioned. There will be a lovely flower communion and a sermon about spring, or how to hug a woman wearing a hat, but rarely a mention of Jesus.

In 1981, Unitarian minister Carl Scovel addressed this problem in a much talked about sermon titled, “What’s a Good Christian like You Doing in this Denomination?” At the time there was an amendment afoot to eliminate the word, “God” from the UUA bylaws. It’s a sermon worth reading. He makes this important observation,

“How ironic that an association of churches and fellowships which claims to be truly universalistic and which claims to include all points of view, not only has virtually no Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, or Jews but precious few Christians, even liberal Christians, and the numbers of those fast dwindling.”

I have been trying for months to make Davidson understand that my identity as a Christian doesn’t mean that I believe that Jesus died for my sins, or that his body came back to life and ascended on a cloud to heaven.

He says, “Why Jesus, Cathy? It’s not a very interesting story.” I disagree, and I explained to him that my not wanting the literalists to steal Jesus from me is similar to his wearing that flag pin every Sunday as a protest to the notion that we cannot be patriotic if we don’t agree with the war. So he wears his flag pin, and I’m wearing my Jesus pin. It says, “Jesus was a liberal.”

My personal understanding of the man called Jesus Christ came from the teachings of Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science who wrote this about Jesus:

“The Christ was the Spirit which Jesus implied in his own statements: ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life;’ ‘I and my Father are one.’ This Christ, or divinity of the man Jesus, was his divine nature, the godliness which animated him.”

Science and Health.

This spiritual description of Jesus Christ is a Unitarian theology that invites us all to claim or access our own divine nature, God-seed or Buddha seed, whichever seed suits your set of metaphors.

“Jesus had been as deeply and remarkably human as anyone his disciples had ever known; and at the same time he had been touched by God in a way that seemed to them utterly without precedent. The two things-his profound humanity, and his intense closeness to God-were bound together inextricably, and at the heart of the mystery of that bond was love, a light that never went out. Jesus’ execution horrified his disciples; yet in its wake they reflected on the man and his ministry. Understood as simply a [supernatural] physical reappearance, the Resurrection makes Jesus’ life and teachings ultimately irrelevant; it is as if Jesus, during his ministry, had just been killing time until the Main Event.”[7]

But understanding the Resurrection as a spiritual event in the minds and hearts of the disciples, as an awakening to the message of their teacher, is to understand the resurrection story as it was understood by early Christians; “not according to the theology of today’s legalistic Christians-for whom the cross is, selfishly, about substitutionary atonement, and for whom the Resurrection is the promise of an afterlife. This was added later, and was as one of my favorite professors put it, “It is purely the fiction of theologians.”

So, what does Easter story mean to me? Well, it ain’t about rabbits, and it’s impossible to share it all in one-half of a sermon. But, I can tell you this. Instead of being fragile and ending on the cross, the compassion and love the disciples had encountered in Jesus was powerful; victorious over everything, even death.”[8]

I am drawn to the significance of Mary in the tomb, as well as the story of the disciples on the road to Emmaus, not recognizing Jesus when he was standing right in front of them, or until he broke bread with them.

Doubt and fear were present in all four-gospel stories. “The disciples didn’t fear death at the empty tomb; they feared Life.”[9] Could it be that the motive of the gospel writers to expose our fear? Our fear that within each of us resides the seed of divinity waiting to be awakened? Are with struck with fear like “dead men”? Afraid to claim the divinity within us, waiting to be wakened by the power of love, by the breaking of spiritual bread together that we can begin to recognize the “Christ” that dwells in each of us.

Are we afraid because we know that if we awaken to the divinity in everyone, including ourselves, that we will be changed? That suddenly our lives will change with this new awareness, this “godliness” that might animate us to love one another? Should the ears of our ears awaken, and the eyes of our eyes open, could we survive? Do we dare?

So, for this Easter, the only Easter I am ever likely to spend with you; let me share just one Easter secret. The clues are everywhere, though we don’t tend to see them. Death moving into life, unbelief blossoming into belief, the lost becoming the found, and the found becoming the ecstatic: so many clues!

Here is the secret: Easter is not a noun. We talk about it as a historical event, a thing, a noun. But Easter is not a noun. It is a verb. It’s a verb meaning to awaken after being in the dark, to come alive when you never thought it could happen to you, to feel the warmth of love in a heart you were certain had cooled forever.

It’s a verb meaning you find hope and passion to replace just suffering and surviving, and the amazing transformation of spirit that comes from realizing, once more, what a magnificent and sacred gift your life is, and saying “Thank you” – right out loud.

Simply, “Thank you for the life we are blessed to share.”

Easter is a verb. Happy Eastering, you dear, blessed people!

——————–

[1] Jesus Seminar. The Five Gospels. P. 127.

[2] Ibid. P. 148.

[3] Brown, Raymond. An Introduction to the New Testament. New York. Doubleday. 1997. P.203.

[4] Miller, Robert. The Complete Gospels. Sonoma, CA. Polebridge Press. 1994. P. 115.

[5] Ibid. P. 260.

[6] Ibid. P. 261.

[7] Bawer, Bruce. Stealing Jesus. New York, NY. Three Rivers Press. 1997. P. 44-45.

[8] Ibid. P.48.

[9] Gallup, Grant. Hominly Grits, Easter. 2003

The Shadow Knows

© Davidson Loehr

April 13, 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button below.

Prayer

In everything we do or fail to do, we’re writing the story of our lives.

Too often, the fantasy and the reality of our lives are a world apart.

Sometimes we can’t find our way, or can’t recognize the way when we have found it.

Sometimes it seems the cost is just too high to take the high road, so we settle for a lower road because we believe it is all we can really afford.

Let us take this time, this place, these moments, to remind us of our higher calling. Let us be open to hearing the voices of gods rather than idols, consulting those angels of our better nature rather than the little demons and goblins of our lesser selves.

Let us think and act in ways that can do honor to us and to those who love us.

Let us act as though God were watching, as though those whom we love were watching, as though all the great and noble souls of history were watching.

For we are the gatekeepers of our better tomorrows.

We are, all of us, brothers and sisters, children of God, and the best hope of a more compassionate world.

Let us live in such a way that when we are finished, we can say, “In my time here, I was as compassionate, as courageous as I knew how to be. In my time I was, if even only in my small way, a blessing to those whose lives I touched.

“I came, I cared, and in the most important matters I tried to be authentic. I wasn’t perfect; but I was the best person that I knew how to be. And that is enough, it is enough, it is always enough.”

Amen.

SERMON: The Shadow Knows

One of the most famous and ancient story plots we have is about people going out on long adventures in search of a treasure they finally discover was buried at home all the time. I think of the movie “The Wizard of Oz,” where Dorothy left Kansas and went to Oz, which had the same characters she had known in Kansas. She finally discovered that the home she was looking for was always as close as clicking her heels.

Also in that movie, the three other main characters were searching for something they thought they didn’t have: brains, courage, a heart. But it wasn’t true: they had them all the time, they just didn’t know it.

I try to look at religion and life’s questions in a lot of different ways here, because the same road doesn’t work for everyone, so I think it’s worth knowing a lot of paths. This morning, I’m looking at life through some lenses from Jungian psychology. I think the Jungians offer some fertile ways of understanding what we think of as salvation, or a kind of healthy wholeness.

For Jung, that especially meant bringing together the favorite parts of our personality, which he called the persona, and the equally important parts that stay hidden, which he called the shadow. The notion of a shadow may sound spooky, but it really isn’t.

Our society, our families and our relationships tend to “edit” us. They prefer certain parts of us, and encourage them. But there’s a lot more to us, and it doesn’t go away. When we shine a light on the parts of us we like, our other parts go into the shadows. The shadow is the despised quarter of our being, or at least the unknown part. It often has as much energy as our ego does. If it gets more energy, it can erupt with its own terrible purpose, and run our lives like a mad puppeteer.

In our culture, especially recently, when we find two opposing forces we are taught to use the bigger one to destroy the weaker one. Whether this will work in international relations remains to be seen. But it doesn’t work psychologically, or in relationships. The two sides are both parts of us, and must be integrated. Otherwise, we’re more likely to flip from one extreme to another: the abused boy who becomes an abuser, religious fundamentalists who attack heretics, or a country that defines itself as peace-loving while claiming the right to declare preemptive war on anyone it chooses. These are some ways the shadow can erupt to define or control us, if we can’t grow big enough to integrate it.

Since we don’t have effective means of integrating our shadow sides today, we project them into our horror movies, gangster epics, violence, rap, garish or shocking fashions, etc. But that can’t integrate them.

To refuse the dark side of our nature is to store up the darkness. Then these things erupt as symptoms: a black mood, psychosomatic illness, or unconsciously inspired accidents – or war, economic chaos, strikes, racial intolerance, etc. The front pages of our newspapers hurl our collective shadows at us every day.

It is a dark page in human history when people make others bear their shadow for them. Men lay their shadow on women, whites upon blacks, blacks upon Hispanics – as I learned when I moved to Austin – Catholics upon Protestants, capitalists upon 3rd world countries, the poor and powerless, Muslims upon Hindus, on and on.

– That was all a kind of theoretical introduction for those who like theories. Now let’s get more specific, because in real life, examples of people whose shadows control or cripple them are usually simpler. I’ve brought you three examples of this, from a personal, institutional and societal scale.

On an individual level, I think of a woman I knew some years ago named Betsy. She was in a shadow rut. She dated a series of men who were all just as judgmental and dismissive of her as her father had been. Her shadow was running this show, trying to win approval from her father through this succession of stand-ins. She was doomed to repeat this plot until she finally got in touch with the parts of her that needed her father’s approval, understand she was never going to get it, and get on with her life. Then, when her father or others like him charged her like bulls with demeaning and hurtful remarks, she could play the matador, just letting the dangerous bulls pass by, without trying to confront them.

For an institutional example where the shadow is running the show, I think of Christianity, especially now as we see the fundamentalist versions gearing up for holy war against Muslims. Hucksters like Jerry Falwell are teaching that Islam is an evil religion teaching war and murder – apparently ignorant of the Christian Crusades, where Christians were told to kill Muslims and promised an eternal reward in heaven for doing so. This entire script is being acted out by the shadow, because it is these Christians who are teaching war and murder, and embodying an attitude Jesus would have regarded as evil. For this kind of wounded Christianity to become healed, it would have to grow big enough to integrate its own shadow, to acknowledge its own contributions to hatred, war and evil in the world today. Only then could Christianity have power to focus the profoundly good energies and ideals of that great religion. This is the task many liberal Christians are taking on, though they have an uphill fight.

And for a really broad current example of a script written by a shadow, I think of the U.S. and our claim that we are the only country on earth with the right to wage preemptive war against any country we choose, without provocation.

We do this while wanting to believe we are a peace-loving nation. It is already having effects that our administration seems not to have expected. William Kristol – who has been a shadow figure in U.S. neo-conservative politics for twenty years – has been interviewed on national radio and television, calmly acknowledging that yes, members of his group, including Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz and others, had been urging that we invade Iraq and control it since 1991. Yes, he says, we will control Syria and Iran next, and think we can do it without using our armies. What would you expect the effect of these statements and plans to be in Arab and Muslim countries? When people all over the world know our blueprints to establish economic and military dominance of the world, including plans to prevent Asia or the European nations from becoming a threat to these imperialistic goals, what do you think the effect will be in Asia and Europe? Our media don’t carry the stories that we have become the most hated nation on earth, and that G.W. Bush is regarded as more dangerous and murderous than Saddam Hussein. But a quick check of world news outlets shows us this is the background against which our denial is operating.

North Korea has already made public its plans to mobilize and strengthen its forces in response to U.S. imperialism. Don’t we think Europe will too? Do we honestly believe we can boss the entire world around, invading wherever we like without consequences? We claim to be a nation of democracy, goodness and peace, but people all over the world, and a growing number here, see our behavior as arrogant, murderous and evil, as our shadow side acting out a kind of adolescent and deadly imperialism that we are publicly trying to pretend doesn’t exist.

There are encouraging signs that the shadow side of America will make it into our collective consciousness. The fact that “Bowling for Columbine” could win an Oscar and get a standing ovation, the fact that Michael Moore’s incendiary and angry book Stupid White Men rose to the #1 bestseller in non-fiction four or five times in the past year and a half, the fact that America’s imperialist plans are being discussed by some of our own journalists in prime-time spots, and by others all over the world, the fact that the protests don’t seem to be diminishing – these are much stronger signs that the citizens are awake than we had anywhere nearly this early in the Vietnam War. So maybe we will insist on facing our own dangerous shadow sides. Maybe not. Time will tell, along with the collective vision and courage – not of our leaders, but of our citizens.

We tend to think of our shadow sides as bad, like these examples. Often, it is. The shadow isn’t necessarily bad, though; it’s just invisible to us, not integrated into our consciousness, so it has great power to mislead us. But a lot of our very best traits are also hidden in the shadows.

Hero-worship is also projecting our shadow. And it’s dangerous to us too, if we then expect the hero to save us, as we become passive.

And falling in love is projecting parts of our shadow, when we fantasize that this person exists to complete us, then later get angry when we find they were, after all, just a human, and their job really wasn’t to complete us.

Still, sometimes someone can help us find our shadow in a way that’s healing. But even then the power hidden in the shadows usually blindsides us.

One of my favorite stories about this is a story about my oldest friend, John. We met in 1968, while I was finishing an undergraduate degree in music theory and he was working on his Ph.D. in psychology. John rode a big Kawasaki motorcycle, which he could take apart and put back together. He loved fixing things. He loved fixing people, too. And it seemed that every woman he dated had something wrong with her that he thought it was his job to fix. This produced a fairly colorful list of girl friends, none of whom lasted very long – usually because they got tired of being another of John’s work projects.

Once when he was between girlfriends, I said, “John, what would happen if you found a really healthy woman who loved you, was compatible with you, but didn’t need any work done?” “Oh,” he said, “that wouldn’t be at all appealing!”

About 25 years ago, after visiting England several times, he finally moved there. He said the U.S. felt like an adolescent society, and he wanted to live among grown-ups. A few years later, he wrote to say he’d met a woman named Mary, so I realized that, grown-up or not, England had some work projects for John. Mary was going through a divorce, and the legal and emotional hassles of dividing the assets from a successful travel agency she and her husband had owned. I couldn’t imagine that John would know anything about much of this, but I was sure he could find something to work on in her, so he’d be content.

Then they visited while I was living in Chicago, and I got to meet Mary. She was John’s worst nightmare: a perfectly healthy woman who loved him, was compatible with him, and didn’t need any fixing at all. I said I didn’t understand why she was attractive to him. He said it had blindsided him. Since she was stressed out when he met her, he thought she could be another good work project. When the divorce was over and the business had been divided, he suddenly discovered that she wasn’t broken and didn’t need fixing at all. But by then, he said, it was too late. They’d learned to love each other, and he had been seduced into a healthy relationship in spite of himself. They’ve been married over twenty years.

His shadow, the part of himself he hadn’t learned how to integrate, was the part that simply enjoyed living, that could find healthy people attractive because they were healthy. It was the part that trusted life and trusted others. He had moved to England because he wanted to live among adults rather than adolescents. And then he met one of those adults, and outgrew his own adolescence.

In some ways, I can identify easily with John and Mary. But in others, they are very different people from me. They are both into every screwy supernaturalism known to humankind: astrology, numerology, palm reading, crystals – they’ve got ’em all. They also told me that they had been together in a previous life, where they needed to work through some things, but this time around it was just about perfect.

I was alarmed by all that supernatural hokum, and I thought about trying to make them a work project. Then I realized I was in the presence of two people who had found their own path toward wholeness and happiness. I decided to leave them alone, and just bless them.

So much life comes from the shadows, you’d think we would get over our fear of them. Yet we are often afraid of the dark. We are afraid to go there, to find what hides there, to face it. We are afraid because we fear that the truth will be bad.

Betsy was afraid she could not live without her father’s approval. But in truth, she couldn’t really live until she no longer needed his approval.

Some Christians are afraid that if they welcome Islam and all other religions as equally legitimate paths to salvation, then theirs will lose its special appeal. In fact, for many people, a religion secure enough to build bridges rather than walls is much more appealing, and much more religious. Many Christian apologists feel that if they ever acknowledge the truth about a very human Jesus or the fact that there are many roads to spiritual fulfillment that need not go through Christian doors, that they’ll lose their flocks. Maybe. But I think what they lose through fear they might more than make up for through what they gain in trust and respect.

Our current administration seems to think we can only be safe by threatening everyone else on earth. That too seems unlikely.

It is easy and natural to wonder how the answers could come from what seems our weakest area. But thousands of years of mythology and religious teachings say it usually comes from the shadows.

In the Hebrew Scriptures, Isaiah says the stone the builders rejected will become the cornerstone. In the Christian scriptures, a voice asks, “What good could come from Nazareth,” a backwater place of low repute. Yet that’s where they said Jesus came from.

In virtually every great story we know, the hero comes from the fringes, the shadows. From Jesus to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, to Frodo in the Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, it is the weakest character who turns out to be the strongest, the one able to build bridges between parts of a disjointed world.

Within and among us too, it is often our hidden parts that hold the power and knowledge we need. And so we perch between two kinds of life, two kinds of belief: the belief that the truth will be bad, and the belief that the truth can set us free. We perch between fear and life, even as we know there are mostly two kinds of people in the world: those who are alive and those who are afraid. And the message I’ve tried to pass on this morning is a simple message, taken from ancient religious insights and modern Jungian psychology. It is simply this: don’t be afraid of the dark. Those things you need to know to be more alive are as close as clicking your heels. You can trust the shadow. The shadow knows.

Death Be Not Proud

© Cathy Harrington

6 April, 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Unless a wheat grain falls on the ground and dies, it remains only a single grain: But if it dies it yields a rich harvest. John 12:24

When I mentioned to Davidson that I was going to do this Sunday’s sermon on death, he said, “Oh, so you want to be sure no one comes to church this Sunday?”

Well, maybe it would have been best to disguise my intent and let it be a surprise, but unfortunately, I am still just learning the tricks of the trade.

You can relax. This sermon is not going to address the question of whether or not death is merely a pause separating us from eternal life. This sermon is about being alive NOW, in the present, by coming face to face with death. “Trembling with an awareness of own mortality”[1] in order that we might find life more abundantly in our own lives and in the lives of those we touch.

I am reminded of years ago when my neighbor Peggy died, we were all shocked and saddened. I wanted to offer my condolences and assistance to her family so I made lots of food to take to their home. I had never done this before and didn’t know what to expect. Peggy’s sister-in-law invited me into the kitchen where she gratefully accepted my gifts and we talked in a whisper. Everyone was stunned by Peggy’s death. Had it been Milford, who was older and in poor health, we wouldn’t have been quite so shocked. Peggy seemed to meet death without warning. Sue took me to the cupboard to show me a large stash of home-baked cookies that Peggy had made the day before she simply died in her sleep. It all seemed so unreal. One minute she’s making cookies and the next minute she’s gone. How can that be? As I walked home I was struck with how fragile life is. How precious, and how we never know what tomorrow will bring.

And then, it hit me. Oh my God! If I should die suddenly, someone will be looking in my kitchen cupboards. My messy closets! When I got home, the first thing I did was to tell my family that if I should die suddenly they were to tell everyone that I hadn’t been myself lately.

Seriously, this is why I feel it is my moral duty as a minister to talk to you about death, in hopes that your own life can be recognized as a precious gift, and dying can be understood as simply a pause, a breath before Love eternal.

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow – Unknown

That’s just one of the quotes on death I found in doing research for this sermon. There’s no shortage of verbiage on the subject of death, believe me. For example;

Woody Allen once said, “I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

I think most Americans liken their attitudes about death to that of Woody Allen or maybe Somerset Maugham, who said, “Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it.”

Or we joke about it, like the mischievous Mark Twain who once said, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

A woman with metastatic cancer once said that through the experience of her illness she had discovered a basic truth. “There are only two kinds of people in this world-those who are alive and those who are afraid.” [2]

Our own Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat we say we have had our day.”

Here in lies the motive for this sermon. To have our “swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat” we must live deliberately and fully awake.

“Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.” [Gloria Steinem]

You may have seen the flyer in your newsletter for the workshop next weekend called “What Can I Do to Help?” This is a workshop designed to awaken our unconscious fears around death and loss, and to bring us fully into the present so that we are free to experience life in its full glory. My work at the Center for Attitudinal Healing during seminary was just that wake-up call for me. I had NO intentions whatsoever of coming in to contact with death. It just happened as I moved in the direction of my heart. I moved from a place of what appeared to be comfortable, but was probably more like “denial”, to an experience of the realm of the holy. Experience that lives up to one theologian’s definition of holy, as being both, “tremendous and fascinating.”

Up to that point, the only experience I had had with death other than when my next-door neighbor died suddenly in her sleep, was when my grandmother died unexpectedly when I was twelve-years old. The mourning at my grandmother’s funeral was treated as a very private affair. The immediate family was closed off from the rest of the mourners by a curtain. I learned that it isn’t appropriate to allow your tears to be seen. I saw my father cry for the first time in my life and it was the most painful experience that I had ever known.

“How do we befriend death? I think deep, human love-does not know death? Real love says, “forever.”[3] The same love that reveals the absurdity of death also allows us to befriend death.”[4] This is exactly how I got over my fear of death and discovered something about life that wouldn’t have been accessible to me otherwise.

I met Cheryl Shohan, the Director, at the time, of the Home and Hospital Program at the Center for Attitudinal Healing. I believe it was a stroke of luck for me that I was in the right place at the right time, when Cheryl needed a seminary intern to work with her, I was ready, willing, and able. I had just completed all the training workshops at the Center and my seminary was open to allowing the work to be counted as credit. I consider the wisdom I received from Cheryl and my work with the dying to be the major foothold to my personal understanding of life, and one of the most important things I have ever done.

Cheryl has become one of my dearest friends as well as a mentor. I am thrilled that she is coming to First UU to co-facilitate this workshop with me. Cheryl has also agreed to speak with the children’s RE class about Loss next Sunday, before they begin an upcoming curriculum on Lessons of Loss. I had a chance to look over this wonderful curriculum. It begins with looking at our own losses, because before we can move into “helping” anyone else, it is essential that we learn to grieve. The word “care” finds its roots in the Gothic KARA, which means lament. The basic meaning, then, of care is to grieve, to experience sorrow, to cry out with.”

“Unless we learn to grieve, we may need to live life at a distance in order to protect ourselves from pain. Grieving may be one of the most fundamental of life’s skills. It is the way that the heart can heal from loss and go on to love again and grow wise.”[5] Grieving can give us the courage to “reframe” our experience as opportunity. It’s a gaining of wisdom and growth.

How wonderful that our UU RE Curriculum begins these lessons in childhood. Unfortunately, I think that most of us grew up in a time when grief wasn’t talked about or understood. Loss is inevitable! The Loss curriculum begins with this sentence,

“Let’s face it, life is risky business. In every week, if not every day, we all face a multitude of losses.”

“We can make our sorrows, just as much as our joys, a part of our celebration of life in the deep realization that life and death are not opponents, but do, in fact, kiss each other at every moment of our existence.”[6] [Henri Nouwen]

My job as intern at The Center for Attitudinal Healing involved working with life-threatened and dying persons and their families. The Center, having become known for its valuable service to local hospitals and doctors, received referrals from patients that often had just received the news of a life-threatening diagnosis and sometimes we worked with individuals for months or years. Sometimes it would be only days before death occurred. The support groups proved invaluable, and if and when someone became too ill to come to the group meetings, we sent trained volunteers to support them at home.

The initial interview often fell to me, first on the phone and then in person. In the beginning, I accompanied Cheryl to observe and learn. I remember one of our first calls. We were called to a nursing home to meet with a woman who had renal cancer. She was in the final stages of her illness and her discomfort was being alleviated with dialysis treatments. Because she was receiving dialysis treatments, she was ineligible for hospice care due to government regulations. A tragic loss for far too many. Hospice care can make all the difference to a patient and their families in the difficult days of terminal illness.

When we arrived, the woman was fearful and horribly uncomfortable. Cheryl and I spent almost two hours listening to this very sick woman share her story and confide her fears. She somehow had maintained a sense of humor. As we listened, I had the privilege of gently massaging her feet with lotion as Cheryl held her hand. I felt the presence of something indefinable. A palpable sacred presence that I have learned to trust. As Cheryl spoke with her, I listened in amazement. She seemed to know exactly what to say. This woman had lots of questions about dying and she was consumed with fear and guilt and had some difficulty talking about it. She finally confessed that when her husband of many years died three years ago, while there was some sorrow, she had felt relief. It had been a strained marriage with many years of unhappiness. Suddenly there was room in the bed for her and she felt like she could breathe. There was peace in her life for the first time in years, and she had been feeling guilty about her feelings ever since.

Cheryl asked, “Is that it?” She nodded gingerly, and Cheryl replied, “Well, it sounds pretty normal to me!” The woman smiled and started to laugh, and then we all three got the giggles. The most amazing thing happened, her face relaxed and her breathing slowed. A transformation occurred right before our eyes.

The next morning, she died peacefully. I remember thinking what a gift it was to have met her and for her to have had the chance to talk honestly and openly with someone who could truly hear her and understand. I had my first encounter with the holy that day. There were to be many more.

My first solo experience with death was a call for help from a young woman whose mother was dying of lung cancer. Anna had called the Center for help and we had tried to arrange a visitor for her mother, but because she lived so far away, we couldn’t find anyone. I sent her some referrals for other services and two tapes of peaceful music to play for her mother. Anna had taken her mother into her home to care for her in the last months of illness and in addition to caring for her dying mother, Anna was taking care of her three year old daughter who was ill with leukemia. This tough young woman was coping with a lot and when she called to say that hospice told her that her mother could die at anytime, she sounded frightened. I asked her if she wanted company, and she was so relieved when I said that I was on my way.

When I arrived, Anna took me into her mother’s room where a tiny figure that used to be a vibrant woman was curled up on the bed. She appeared to me to be very close to death. Anna climbed up on the big four-poster bed and cradled her mother’s face in her hands. She told her that she wasn’t alone anymore and it was ok if she was ready to go to be with Jesus. Anna’s mother was a deeply religious Christian and I agreed to sit with her and read Bible passages to her.

Anna took Gracie in the other room to spend some quiet time with her and calm her down and I sat beside the bed and began to read Sara’s Bible out loud. As I read the passages underlined and dated, I was editing because some of those verses are downright frightening. Judgment and hell-fire. As well used as that Bible was, I figured Sara knew what I was doing if she could hear me, and I hoped she would forgive me.

I noticed a glass of water with a sponge on a stick beside her bed. I decided to see if she would like a drink.

What happened next is something I will remember for as long as I live. As I placed the moistened sponge between her lips, this cadaverous human being curled up in almost a fetal position clamped down on that sponge with amazing strength and quenched her thirst with a deep sigh. It took my breath and for that moment, as she held on, it was as if we had joined somehow because as that stick came alive with her energy I felt quenched as well. Her body was dying but her essence was very much alive.

Sara died within minutes of that moment and shortly after Anna’s best friend arrived. We sat beside Sara’s bedside and the two girls told me stories about Sara and their years growing up together. We laughed and we cried and we prayed. I thank God that I had to wisdom to answer Anna’s call for help that day. That I somehow had the good sense to show up to life.

I had been given a sacred gift of being invited into the holy space of another human being. Another gift of the holy.

There were to be many more. Far too many to tell. But enough that I am convinced that Love is more powerful than death. In every case, I found a peace that passes all understanding, in circumstances that for all visible evidence that appeared to be tragic and horrifying, I found a peace that can’t be explained or defined.

Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest who taught theology at both Harvard and Yale, spent the last years of his life living and working in a house with six handicapped people and four assistants. In his own words, “I moved from Harvard to Daybreak, that is from an institution for the best and the brightest to a community for mentally handicapped people.”

Nouwen writes of his experience with that peace that passes understanding that I’m talking about. He tells about his relationship with Adam, his gentle teacher who taught him what no book, school, or professor could have ever taught. [7] He writes:

Having never worked with handicapped people, I was not only apprehensive, I was afraid. Adam was a twenty-five year old man who could not speak, could not dress himself or undress himself, could not walk alone or eat without much help. He didn’t cry, or laugh, and only occasionally made eye contact.

His back was distorted and his arm and leg movements were very twisted. He suffered from severe epilepsy and, notwithstanding heavy medication, there were few days without grand mal seizures. Sometimes as he would grow suddenly rigid, he uttered a howling groan, and on a few occasions I saw a big tear coming down his cheek.

Nouwen goes into great detail of his lengthy and tedious routine of daily care for Adam. Not to give a nursing report, but to share something quite intimate.

“After a month of working with Adam, something started to happen to me that never had happened to me before. This deeply handicapped young man, who by many outsiders is considered an embarrassment, a distortion of humanity, a useless creature, started to become my dearest companion.

Out of this broken body and broken mind emerged a most beautiful human being offering me a greater gift than I would ever be able to offer him. It is hard for me to find adequate words for this experience, but somehow Adam revealed to me who he was and who I was and how we can love each other. As I carried his naked body into the bathwater, made waves to let the water run fast around his chest and neck, rubbed noses with him and told him all sorts of stories about him and me, I knew that two friends were communicating far beyond the realm of thought or emotion. Deep speaks to deep, spirit speaks to spirit, heart speaks to heart. I started to realize that there was a mutuality of love not based on shared knowledge or shared feelings, but on shared humanity.

Nouwen had enough training in psychology to raise the question of whether he was romanticizing, making something beautiful out of something ugly, projecting his own hidden need to be a father to this deeply retarded man. He asked Adam’s parents when they came for a visit, “During all the years you had Adam in your house, what did he give you?” The father replied without hesitation, “He brought us peace, he is our peacemaker, our son of peace.”

The gift of peace hidden in Adam’s utter weakness is a peace rooted in being, Henri Nouwen wrote. How simple a truth, how hard to live. Adam is teaching me something about peace that is not of this world. It is a peace not constructed by tough competition, hard thinking, and individual stardom, but rooted in simply being present to each other, a peace that speaks about the first love of God by which we are all held and a peace that keeps calling us to community, to a fellowship of the weak.

Henri Nouwen used this story of Adam to illustrate his point that the seeds of national and international peace are already sown on the soil of our own suffering and the suffering of the poor, and that we can truly trust that these seeds, like the mustard seeds of the Gospel, will produce large shrubs in which many birds can find a place to rest.

The Gospel also offers the wisdom that one who loses his life will find it. In acts of service to the weak and the poor in body and spirit, we begin to find our lives and bless the lives of others.

I believe this is what Jesus meant when he said that the kingdom of God is all around us and we simply can’t see it. It remains hidden in the broken bodies of the weak, the silent suffering of our neighbor, ourselves, waiting to be revealed, to be lifted out and distributed throughout the world. It is that peace that defies explanation or understanding.

Ancient Egyptians believed that upon death they would be asked two questions and their answers would determine whether they could continue their journey in the afterlife. The first question was, “Did you bring joy?” The second was, “Did you find joy?” [Leo Buscaglia]

I would like to leave you with two questions to carry with you as you continue your journey in this life.

First: If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call to make, who would you call and what would you say?

Second: Why are you waiting? [Stephen Levine]

For life in the present there is no death. Death is not an event in life. It is not a fact in the world. – Wittgenstein

Desire is half of life, indifference is half of death. – Kahlil Gibran

Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat we say we have had our day – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. – Clarence Darrow

If man hasn’t discovered something that he will die for, he isn’t fit to live. – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Learn as if you were going to live forever. Live as if you were going to die tomorrow. – Unknown

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal. – Albert Pike

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. – Seneca

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. – Rabindranath Tagore

 


 

[1] Church, Forrest. Lifelines. Boston, MA. Beacon Press. 1996. P. 15.

[2] Remen, Rachel Naomi. My Grandfather’s Blessings. New York, NY. Riverhead Books. 2000. P. 169.

[3] Nouwen, Henri. Seeds of Hope: A Nouwen Reader. Edited by Robert Durback. New York, NY. Image Books. 1997.P. 190.

[4] Remen. GFB. P. 190.

[5] Remen. MGB. P. 145.

[6] Nouwen, Henri. Seeds of Hope: A Nouwen Reader. Edited by Robert Durback. New York, NY. Image Books. 1997. P. 87.

[7] Nouwen, Henri. P. 254-267.

From "Four Soliloquies from the Prodigal Son Story":

The Fatted Calf’s Soliloquy

 From “Four Soliloquies from the Prodigal Son Story”

© Rev. Davidson Loehr

March 30, 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

There was a man who had two sons; and the younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of property that falls to me.” And he divided his living between them.

Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took his journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in loose living. And when he had spent everything, a great famine arose in that country, and he began to be in want.

So he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have fed on the pods that the swine ate; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, but I perish here with hunger!

I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired servants.” And he arose and came to his father.

But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”

But the father said to his servants, “Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” And they began to make merry.

(Luke 15: 11-24, RSV)

HOMILY: – The Fatted Calf’s Soliloquy

A fatted calf doesn’t have a lot of choices. The end is known from the beginning; for we will be sacrificed for something, and we do not get to choose what it will be. Our whole life gets its meaning from the celebration at the end of it, a celebration we never see. We have no story of our own; you hear about us only through the story told about the feast we are given to.

I was meant for a harvest feast. Many months ahead they began to fatten me. I didn’t mind; in fact, I liked it, because I ate so much better than all the other calves. I thought I was special; I suppose I was, in a way. Still, it was just a harvest feast they had in mind. They do it every year. Every year there is a harvest, and every year a calf is fattened for the occasion. It is always the same, I was just this year’s main course. Nothing special, just part of the annual cycle, as regular and indifferent as a machine, like all of Nature’s cycles.

You may not be very interested in my story, since it sounds so different from your own. And you are different from fatted calves, it is true. But we are much alike, too. For your life is also given for something. Your days and years, your energies and allegiances, are given over to something, and you serve it mostly without thinking about it, maybe without even being aware of it.

You serve a job, a career, an army, a country, another person, even a set of beliefs. So much of your life is defined by the things you give it for; your whole life is a kind of sacrifice offered to your gods large and small, to your values good and bad, even to your lusts, your greeds, your habits and your whims.

And you are fattened, too. You are fed differently according to what you serve, but you are fattened. They feed you money, power, popularity, success, recognition, a sense of purpose, a sense of place, a kind of inner satisfaction – that is the fattening you’re given while your life is spent on the things you serve with it.

And much of your story, like mine, will be told by the things you have served. In truth, you give more of yourself than you think. You serve well, even when you don’t serve wisely.

Yet in the end, how often it is that the things you serve do not serve you in return, but only take from you until at last they take your life. And then when the story is told, you are just left out, forgotten. You were just a little part in some kind of a giant game, or a play (whether comedy or tragedy), like the sacrifice of a fatted calf at an annual harvest.

This is where you are really not so different from me as you think. You may chatter about being master of your fate: but did you choose your sex and race, your family, your gifts and handicaps, your social and economic station, your country, or the times into which you were born? No, much of your play had already been written for you, and you have mostly just acted out your assigned part, just as I have.

A soldier commits his service, even his life, to the commands of his country. But he does not get to choose his war, whether it will be a popular or unpopular one, whether his sacrifices will be respected or reviled. His life hangs from threads controlled by others, and he does not choose what his life will be given to, though he knows it may be given to something, and the value of that something may not even be assessed until after he has died.

A woman may serve a business, playing in good faith the small part assigned to her, only learning at the end that it was an evil business after all; all of her good works were part of a bad story, and she will be defined by that story for the rest of her days.

You are as innocent as I, and often as powerless. So you are more like the fatted calf than you may like to think. And now perhaps you will be able to hear my story:

I was born anonymous, I lived anonymously, and I was scheduled to die the same way: as an extra, just another calf being used as calves have always been used, serving an end of no great or lasting significance to anyone. I went along as we always have, because a fatted calf doesn’t have many choices. And if everything had happened as it had been planned, you would never have heard of me. My life would have been given to a routine harvest feast on a small farm in an obscure country, and I would never have had a story to be told, for there is not much in a fatted calf’s life that is worth retelling.

I did not choose any of this. The meaning of my life was defined by the things that were chosen for me by others, by the larger play in which I was just a small part. And I was chosen to serve routine and anonymous things, things which never acknowledged or cherished me but only used me up.

So you see: that is why my story is worth telling. It is worth telling because I have a story. That’s the miracle of it: that I have a story at all! And it happened because someone came alive. A younger brother broke from the routine. He could not find himself in it. His heart, his soul, something could find no home in the routine he was expected to serve with his life. And in a burst of foolish young courage he broke free. He wasted all of his money, it is true. But he was searching, however awkwardly, for something with more life in it, for something to serve that might know his name, that might give him a more authentic life than the obedient security brought by just doing your duty.

He failed. He failed miserably. But in his failure there was a great awakening, and it made all the difference.

First the younger brother awoke, and came back home. And then his father awoke, and reached out to him – not with justice, but with forgiveness and love. That was the miracle. And with that miracle, a whole new world was born: a world with a gentleness and a wholeness that offend the workaday mind, as they have offended the older brother. But it is a world with more space to live, for those who are imperfect, who don’t find their true path on the first try. It is a world of grace and of hope for those who must fail before they can succeed – those who hope and pray for another chance.

In that moment of his father’s forgiveness, a new son was born, and a new world of possibilities, for all who can listen to this story and hear its message. Then suddenly there was something more important and more urgent than a harvest feast, for something sacred had broken into ordinary life, something with the power to transform it.

And the moment of its entry, the moment of the birth of a new son and a new world, must not be allowed to pass by without celebrating it. The birth of sacred possibilities in life must not be allowed to slide by with stopping to give thanks, without making all of life stop and look and hear and rejoice.

And so in place of a harvest feast there was a sacred feast; a holy meal; a communion. A meal not of food to be gulped down and forgotten, but of food consecrated to a holy purpose, food to be cherished and savored and never to disappear from memory. That is how this feast took place, this feast which has changed everyone who has ever truly understood it.

And I was a part of it! My life was changed by the choices others made. For now instead of being consumed by life and then forgotten, I have become a part of it all, and I will never be forgotten as long as this story is told and heard and cherished.

If a miracle is a gift of life beyond understanding, then a miracle happened here, you see? And I was a passive recipient of this miracle. The meaning of my life was changed forever because of the choices and the decisions made by others.

It’s ironic, but I could not tell my story to other fatted calves, for we have no choices, and could not elect to change what we shall serve with our lives even if we wanted to.

That is why I tell my story to you instead: because, you see, that is where we are so different. Fatted calves can not choose what we will serve with our lives. We cannot choose whether we shall serve something that gives our lives a sacred kind of glow, or whether we shall just serve something that drains our life from us until at last nothing is left of us, not even our story. A fatted calf doesn’t have many choices. But you do: you can choose.

She: A Salvation Story for Women

© Davidson Loehr

23 March 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Prayer

Spirit of life and love, Father/Mother God, we are joined today in a moment of gratitude for the warmth of this beloved community, for the comfort of this sacred space, for the moment of peace and contemplation in which to appreciate the precious gift of life. This moment of relative comfort sharpens our perception of an imperfect world.

We are reminded of the many innocent people in the world who are suffering hunger, terror, violence and loss. We pause to share our concern and care for the people of Iraq. Here at home, our thoughts are with all soldiers, on all sides of this warring, and with their families and loved ones, both here and abroad.

May we find it in ourselves today to work toward a better tomorrow. These are hard and bloody times, guided by imperfect leaders on all sides, prompted by a mix of motives, not all of which are proud. It is a deeply human moment arising from the always-present, always-dangerous mixture of good and evil that reside in the human soul, in human institutions and governments.

We have both good and bad spirits within and among us. Today we pray to the angels of our better nature. We seek strength from the still, small voices of understanding rather than arrogance, /generosity rather than greed, /peace rather than war. These are the voices, the angels, the spirits we need now and in the trying times ahead of us. We need these insights and strengths as Americans, as people of faith, as citizens of the world, and as brothers and sisters to all people on earth who cry when their hearts break, who bleed when they’re cut, and who, with us, hope and pray for a better tomorrow and a better world. Let us hope and pray, but not only hope and pray.

Amen.

SERMON: “She: A Salvation Story for Women”

In a recent USA Today poll, people were asked what one question they would most like to ask God. The overwhelming response was that they wanted to know the purpose of their life. That says at least two things. One is that they don’t know the purpose of their life; the other is that they haven’t found it out from God, either.

Some of this is a comment on our times. In ancient times, even medieval times, people felt that they had encounters with the gods regularly. They provided places for it to happen. They had shrines, where there were statues of the gods, fires lit to them, temples you could go to be in their presence. But today, about the only place people still feel the overpowering presence of the old gods is when they fall in love, and are connected either with Aphrodite, the older kind of love, or Eros, the adolescent kind.

Last week, I used a medieval myth of Parsifal’s quest for the Holy Grail as the archetype of a man’s struggle to grow up and grow whole.

The archetypal salvation story for women is far, far older and more complex. It’s the very ancient, even prehistoric, Greek myth of Psyche and Eros. Parsifal’s story was one of adventures and conquests; Psyche’s story is one of relationships and unfolding. Parsifal, like most men, had to grow up through experiences; Psyche, like most women, grows up through learning how to find and develop seeds already inside of her.

Psyche is the Greek word for soul. Eros was the adolescent god of love. Today, we call him Cupid and picture him as a fat little baby. But the Greeks knew he was an adolescent, and they saw the falling in love that he brought as an adolescent kind of love, too.

I want to move back and forth between real people and this old myth, as I did last week. Last week, I also talked about the labyrinth from the Chartres cathedral, which we had down for people to walk. That gave me three balls to juggle. I like having three things to juggle, so today I’ll also talk about a movie that’s been nominated for Best Picture tonight, “The Hours.”

The story of Psyche and Eros is very complex, as I think psychologically women are more complex than men. I’ll confess at the start, though, that while I felt pretty confident talking about the inner lives of men last week, every time I start to feel confident this morning, I hear a little feminine voice from somewhere saying “Shut up, you fool!” So, my dear women, this is the best I can do. You see if it fits.

The story begins in adolescence, as it did for Parsifal. Psyche is an adolescent girl, beautiful and mythic. The prettiest of the three girls in her family, she’s really too pretty. Boys admire her, maybe even worship her, but from a distance. She’s more like an image of an adolescent kind of mythic beauty than she is like a real woman.

Girls today are flooded with images of Psyche, images of that beautiful, mythic, vacuous look they are taught to emulate: Britney Spears, Christina Aguilara, J. Lo. Or Liv Tyler, in the Lord of the Rings movies, has this ethereal, almost mythic look. Teen and movie magazines carry their pictures, their stories, and young women know them the way they once knew the stories of the gods and goddesses.

There’s something about them that’s unreal, and unfinished. They don’t seem like grown women, or like wives or mothers. This is the age when girls play at grown-up roles they haven’t grown into.

These are girls known for prettiness and innocence, not depth or wisdom. That’s the age of Psyche, a beautiful unfinished woman. And the old myth is about what she must go through to grow up, to become whole. If she doesn’t grow up, she may still be trying to play the role of Psyche in her 30s, 40s or later – when it is known as playing an ingenue.

In the myth, her untouchable beauty finally makes Aphrodite angry. So Aphrodite decrees that she shall be married to death, since she isn’t playing a useful role among the living.

This sounds fantastical, but it’s more real than you’d think. If a woman gets stuck in the Psyche role of being a dream woman, an adolescent man’s dream, she stops before she becomes whole enough to be a woman. And to enter into a marriage at that stage is to come in playing a pretty costumed role that can be the death of the human woman in her who hasn’t developed.

There is a powerful character in the current movie “The Hours” that has some of this. Julianne Moore’s character “Laura” is this kind of a two-dimensional mythic image, and it is killing her. She even describes this picturesque life as “death.”

But here’s how the Greeks told the story, well over 3,000 years ago. Left on the mountain for death to take, Eros, the teen-aged son of Aphrodite, was sent to stick her with his arrow so she would fall in love with death – the myth was that once stuck with Eros’s golden arrow, you fell in love with the first person you see.

But Eros is so struck by her beauty that he sticks himself with an arrow, and falls in love with her immediately. He has her transported to a paradise to be just with him. This is one way you know Eros is an adolescent. This is an adolescent’s dream: transporting their mythic love to a paradise to be with them alone.

All paradises have strict rules, and Eros had strict rules for her in his adolescent paradise. He would join her at night, but she could never see him, never ask questions or know him at all. If she did – if she ate from the tree of knowledge – the paradise would end, he said. Still, it seemed like paradise, so she stayed, spending nights with him, waking to find him gone before the light could show her his face.

In the meantime, her sisters were jealous, and kept inquiring how she was doing. She told them she was with a wonderful man she didn’t know. This isn’t just an ancient story, you know!

They told her he was probably an ugly monster, and talked her into taking a light, and a knife, so she could see his face in the night, then kill him before he could destroy her. But when the soft light showed his face, she saw she was married to a young god. She dropped the knife, a drop of hot oil landed on his shoulder, he woke up, saw she had disobeyed, and left her, just like that. Paradise was over.

Women have these two tools, a light to shine and a knife to cut with. Even today people talk of the cutting remarks a woman can make to a man, or how she can cut him down. Just a well-aimed sharp comment can do it, and does so much damage it’s hard ever to undo it.

The light meant the Greeks thought women could usually see more deeply into men than men could, and a lot of that seems true. But lighting the light is tricky, too. It’s almost always women who do this in a relationship. It’s women who say “We need to talk,” who want to know what he feels about this, who he is, more personally and deeply than just small talk.

But she threatened to know him, so he left. The paradise was over as quick as a Hollywood marriage. And the end of paradise is the beginning of young Psyche’s chance to grow up, if she can do it.

The Jungian psychologist Robert A. Johnson sees Eros as the woman’s own unconscious masculine component. It’s an adolescent masculine component in girls, and is the voice telling them the role to play, that pretty but vacuous role that never asks questions – the kind of girl you see in beer ads or on The Man Show.

It’s the voice in teen magazines, movies, ads, telling girls how to look and act to be attractive to young men, or the adolescent parts of men of any age. Don’t know or be known, don’t probe deeply, don’t question. Be seduced by the glitter, the look, the charisma, and be present as glitter, looks and charisma. That’s adolescent love in its adolescent paradise.

The next steps are the woman’s version of Parsifal’s knightly adventures and fights. Her battles are inside, but every bit as hard. If she is to get beyond this adolescent role of Psyche and grow into a real woman, she had hard work ahead of her. Aphrodite, the voice of that grown-up kind of femininity, lays out the tasks for her.

First, she must sort things out. She is overwhelmed, and needs to sort out what does and doesn’t matter to her. In the Greek myth, she has to sort through thousands and thousands of seeds. In the movie “The Hours,” Laura is trapped in a picturesque 1950s marriage, surrounded by a hundred things that are killing her, and she has to sort them out. Clean the house, cook the meals, tend to her boy, tend to her husband, keep everything looking perfect, bake and decorate the perfect birthday cake, make this false picture convincing. Then, somewhere, care for herself, attend to her own soul’s needs.

She had to sort out what gave death and what gave life. Some Jungian psychologists have described the feminine aspect of the soul as “unfocused consciousness,” and Psyche’s task is to learn how to sort, and how to focus, so she can find and attend to the really important parts of her life.

The second task is to get the strength to go through this, and to do it wisely. In the myth, she must get some golden fleece from the dangerous rams. If she tried it in the daytime, confronting them, they could hurt or kill her, because she’s no match for their physical strength. But her wiser voices tell her to go at night, and pick some fleece from the bushes where it has rubbed off.

Both modern psychologists and ancient mythmakers are saying it takes a tough-minded masculine kind of strength here, and it’s safest for a woman to steal some masculine energy rather than try and take it by confronting the rams. I’ve heard so many stories of women who tried to confront the rams directly. A woman who confronted her father over his habit of demeaning her, and was withered by his anger and insulting outbursts. Or battered women who try to have a showdown, challenging their battering partner’s masculinity and authority, with brutal, sometimes deadly, results. It’s safer and wiser just quietly to gather the strength you need to do what you need to do. Don’t waste energy on unnecessary risks.

Psyche’s third task is like the first: to take just a little bit of life and develop it, rather than being overwhelmed by all the demands that are flooding her.

In the myth, she must go to the River Styx, the river of life and death, and take just one crystal goblet of water, no more. Just a little, just what she can manage. Take just that, don’t be overwhelmed. It’s about sorting things out, focusing on what gives life, and taking only those parts of life you can manage right then.

In the movie “The Hours,” the floodwaters of the River Styx are pictured graphically, almost shockingly. She is lying on a hotel bed, contemplating suicide. You view the scene from above, and suddenly the whole room is flooded with water from beneath, covering her. I’ve never seen a psychological mood given such graphic staging. It is scenes like this that make you aware of how deep the psychological insights of those ancient stories are.

All the tasks of keeping the house, baking the cake, keeping the picture pretty and absorbing all the unhealth in the family were the flood that was killing the character in the movie. Just take a goblet full, and choose only those parts that you can handle, the parts that give you life.

In the movie, she made a radical and surprising choice. After the birth of her second child, she abandoned her family. She left the children and her husband and fled to Toronto, where she became a librarian. That’s all the flood of life she could handle, just that goblet-full.

The costs of this sorting and choosing and leaving can be very high. In the movie, her role was to carry all the unhappiness and death of a very sick system. When she left, the unhappiness and death had to go somewhere. Fifty years later, when she appeared again after the suicide of her son, she said that whole 1950s Los Angeles scene had been death to her, and she chose life. Both her husband and her daughter later died of cancer. The death in the system had to go somewhere. In her life, both staying and leaving had costs, terrible costs. It’s not that her choices are recommended for others, just that they were the only way she could choose life.

She had used that second tool, the knife, to cut herself free from what was, to her, a deathtrap. Most women would have chosen children and family over the solitary life of a librarian in another country. She was almost a negative example, one that ran counter to type – or at least counter to stereotype.

Part of the story, both in the myth and in the movie, is that the tender mercies, the feminine kind of caring that are so often a sign of a mature woman’s depth and love, can be traps that keep her from making the hard decisions needed to grow whole. She had to have the strength to leave, and let the sickness and death go where it would: in this case, to all the rest of the family. That’s the masculine energy, the golden fleece. It just takes a little, but without a little of that kind of strength, it can’t be done.

The fourth task is implied in all this, though it is the most difficult. It is the inner visit to your own unconscious, to the place where you can discern your own soul’s calling, your own unique style: who you are, who you must be, how you must live, what you must do. But you see that this is now the exact opposite of Psyche at the beginning of the story, where her whole life was choreographed by others, and she went along.

Now she has done the hard work, of sorting out what mattered to her and bringing it to bloom. She has worked for, and gained, her own soul and her own life. It took a toll, and in the old myth it is Eros, who has also grown up some in the meantime, who finally reclaims her. This Eros is several things, it is a complex story:

1. It is the adolescent Eros, now grown up.

2. But since Eros never grows up, that means it’s really her own interior masculine and strong side that has come to complement her more mature feminine self. Eros and Psyche are parts of the grown woman, now complementing each other.

3. Eros is also love, for this is the story of the soul’s search for love. And only love can finally unite all the parts of our psyche into an authentic and happy whole.

Zeus sees all this, and decrees that Psyche and Eros should now be married. And so the wedding takes place, and Psyche is given a drink that gives her immortality so she can join the other gods.

That’s so lovely, it hardly needs translating. The growth of a woman from an adolescent Psyche to a mature and integrated woman is a sacred event, blessed by all the gods. And she bore a child, the old myth says, a daughter whose name was Pleasure.

She became one with the gods, found the integration of her soul through the hard work of sorting, focusing, choosing that which gave her life and bringing it to grown-up fruition. And when she was done, she found her grown-up self in a holy union with Love, forever.

Whether in an old Greek myth, a modern movie, or a real down-to-earth woman’s life, it sounds like calling the results “Pleasure” is a magnificent example of complete understatement.

He: A Salvation Story for Men

© Davidson Loehr

16 March 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Prayer

And a man said, Speak to us of Self-Knowledge.

And he answered, saying:

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge.

You would know in words that

which you have always known in thought.

You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

And it is well you should.

The hidden wellspring of your soul must needs

rise and run murmuring to the sea;

And the treasure of your infinite depths

would be revealed to your eyes.

But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;

And seek not the depths of your knowledge

with staff or sounding line.

For self is a sea boundless and measureless.

Say not, “I have found the truth”

but rather, “I have found a truth.”

Say not, “I have found the path of the soul.”

Say rather, “I have met the soul walking upon my path.”

For the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

– On Self-Knowledge – Kahlil Gibran

SERMON: He: A Salvation Story for Men

The myth of the quest for the holy grail began in the 12th century, the time many identify as the beginning of the modern world. One famous quote says that the winds of the 12th century became the whirlwinds of the 20th century, so this story may not be as foreign to us as you might think.

It’s the story of the wounded Fisher King, of Parsifal’s search for the Holy Grail, of fair and Hideous damsels. It’s a kind of salvation story, especially for men, a story of what’s wrong, where modern men find themselves, and a prescription for what to do about it. It is a spiritual story, with deep roots into what we today call depth psychology of existential psychology.

I want to talk with you about this old myth. I’ll move back and forth between real life and the old myth, kind of tying them together from the inside out. It will be a little like walking the Chartres labyrinth, where we start way out, seem to move quickly toward the center, then get directed away from it, winding up a long way from the center before finally reaching home.

When a boy reaches adolescence, he discovers a new world, charged with power he hadn’t been aware of before. He is drawn to it as though it were part of who he must become, and in a way it is. But he’s far too young to handle it, and the experience of this new supercharged world makes an impression and issues a call that may be part of the rest of his life. The question of what must be done with that power will be with him until he resolves it.

It can happen emotionally, if he gets involved with a girl or woman he is in no way prepared for. My favorite movie about this was “The Summer of ’42.” Newer films include “Something About Mary” and a hundred others about boys falling all over themselves the first time they feel the feminine presence and realize both how powerful it seems, and how foreign, how far beyond their power. This is the Fair Damsel, who awakens his desire to become a man. In the Summer of ’42, it was a 15-year-old boy who was seduced by a woman ten years older who had just received a telegram saying her husband had been killed in the war. She was in such shock and grief she may not even have realized she was seducing him, and when he woke in the morning she was gone, he was never to see her again. There’s an initiation into a supercharged world that can stay with a boy, and will stay with a boy, his whole life.

Or the world of power may not be sexual, just very macho. An action hero, a video game that creates an imaginary world supercharged with deadly weapons, evil villains, mortal combat, and the thrill of the kill. You can watch this one being played out all over the country, every day. These boys are being seduced into a world with more power, and a different kind of power, than they’ve ever experienced before – especially when experienced through the haze of their new hormones. As video game designers know, they can barely tell the difference between the fantasy world on the screen and the real thing. Here, they’re a hero. Here, they have unbounded power over life and death. It’s so intoxicating that many boys withdraw into these fantasy worlds for hours at a time, day after day.

You can see boys practicing the bantam rooster activities of the quest for the Holy Grail everywhere, not just in the television shows of gangs and punks acting tough. You’ll see it in sports, both amateur and professional. That’s where our boys slay a lot of their dragons. And you see it in business behaviors. That’s why you see books on business strategy with titles talking about how to swim with the sharks, or Attila the Hun as a business model (I read this: it’s really dumb). You watch some of these guys as they progress, and you’ll feel the testosterone. They are learning what power is and how to use it.

In the myth, the King is a deeply wounded man. He can’t really live, but can’t die. He just suffers. He lacks the creative power he needs to find authenticity in the real world. His relationships are often a kind of role-playing, acting out, posing in costume.

Every night there is a solemn ceremony in the Grail castle. The Fisher King is lying on his litter enduring his suffering while a procession of profound beauty takes place. Fair maidens bring in a procession of wondrous things, until finally a maiden brings the Holy Grail itself which glows with light from its own depth. Each person (except the king) is given wine from the Grail and realizes their deepest wish even before they voice that wish. The king is barred from the essence of beauty and holiness when just those qualities are right in front of him. We can be disconnected and incapable of perceiving beauty, it happens easily.

The court fool had prophesied long ago that the Fisher King would be healed when a wholly innocent fool arrived in the court and asked the question “What does the Grail serve?”

The Grail is the symbol of the power of life itself: the power of God, shared with all, sustaining all. The king’s wound means that for all his efforts, he really hasn’t gotten it. He really isn’t partaking of the transcendent power of the universe as it is meant to be used. He has power, but it’s a kind of reflected light, not a light emanating from him. The light is from God, from the power of life, the powers of the universe. All the power there is loaned to the Grail by life, God, the universe, everything transcendent, from the whole tapestry of which we are a part.

The king would think he’s got control of that power. After all, he’s a king. He’s the star of the football team, the CEO of the company, the head of his unit, the studliest stud in his fraternity. He’s The Man.

But he doesn’t own this power, and he has not yet found his connection to it. That’s his wound, that’s why he suffers. In spite of his crown, he’s still an adolescent, playing adolescent games that he thought would make him a man, make him whole, bring him salvation. But they don’t. That takes something else, and he hasn’t found it.

The hero, the one who could save the king, is named Parsifal, which means “innocent fool” or “he who draws the opposites together” – like the meaning of the Chinese word Tao. Parsifal is another part of the king, of us. The king has power, but he can’t put the whole picture together, the picture of him and his world, including that transcendent power that he uses without owning. That’s what he can’t do, and only the fool, the innocent part of him, might do it, and only if he can learn to ask the magic question: What does the Grail serve?

In other words, the Grail that contains some of this transcendent power, and we who contain come of the transcendent power of life, the world, the universe – what do we serve? What is the point of our lives, and of having this power? A man’s search for that answer is his quest for the Holy Grail.

The myth came from a time when only men would be knights, or CEOs, or scholars or lawyers or even preachers, so these were men’s problems. Today, many women are playing these roles, are finding and using this power. And so today, many women are also struggling to put their power into a transcendent perspective.

Until we can do it, we’ll keep slaying dragons outside of us, fighting battles in the bedroom or boardroom or on the playing field or in the courtroom, in search of the Holy Grail, in search of that source of power.

This quest drives much of our economy, and fuels much of the advertising industry. Sexy sports cars, SUVs pictured in ads with people driving up remote mountains to do extreme sports, while the vehicles are sold to families, 99% of whom will never drive off-road anywhere. Or those $50,000 Humvees, those rough-terrain military vehicles, for your family’s assault on the shopping mall. Or $30,000 diamond bracelets. You can sell a man almost anything if he thinks it’s the Holy Grail, the source of the power of reconnection he needs.

All of these products are being sold as Holy Grails, as things that possess that kind of transcendent power we’re seeking. The advertisers are saying “Come on, buy this and you’ll have made it, man. You’ll have arrived. You’ll be saved.” And as long as we keep looking for salvation through outside things we’ll keep buying them, filling our garages with them, charging them on our credit cards, then forgetting about them because, somehow, they just didn’t give us that power after all.

The quest for the Holy Grail is the price we pay for remaining adolescents, for staying in a cartoon world. It’s a world, like the world of video games, of pure good against pure evil, where the answer to conflict is to destroy the opponent, to win the victory. And it defines more of our world and our economy than you can measure.

Right now, we have a president who speaks in terms of good against evil, where there are only two sides, one must be destroyed, where a massive bombing that will slaughter thousands of innocent women and children – and a few soldiers – in Iraq is referred to as an evening of “Shock and Awe.” Not violent, bloody murder and dismemberment, not the slaughter of the innocents, people who never harmed us – or the thousands of “human shields” who have now flown to Baghdad from all over the world. No, our government is describing the slaughter of these innocents in the adolescent language of video games: an evening of Shock and Awe. That is the quest for the Holy Grail, on the national level. The quest for power over people, for peace through pacification rather than through peaceful means, the quest for the power to invade any country at will, without provocation, and the feeling that this will lead to the ultimate kind of power – this is the quest for the Holy Grail, by wounded kings and wounded nations who have not understood and have not asked What does the Grail serve?

Well, they do ask it, and we ask it. But we think the answer is us: that the power serves whoever grabs it, however they get it. We think we are the center of the world, if we can compel or destroy all who oppose us. That’s the kind of power video games and action movies are about. It is not the kind of power the great myths are about. It is not the kind of power great religious insights are about. And it is not the kind of power than brings wholeness or salvation, only blood, terror, and retribution.

But the wounded kings do not know it.

I’m not taking liberties with this 800-year-old myth. This is what it is about. These are the dynamics of people seeking the wrong kind of power that the myth is about. And it insists that the salvation we seek can only come through asking the question no one is asking: What does the Grail serve? What does the power of life, God, the world, the universe – what does it serve? For the power must be reunited with what it serves, or the wound will remain and we will remain anxious, the most depressed nation on earth, the nation with the highest youth homicide rate in the world, the highest rate of imprisoning and executing our own citizens.

The quest for the Holy Grail, the drive to succeed, to control some of this power in some way, defines the adult lives of most men. It isn’t all bad. It motivates men, makes them work hard, succeed, provide a decent living for their families, offer some of life’s finer things to those they love. It isn’t all bad at all.

But there comes a time when men wonder if it’s enough.

In the old myth, the bubble is popped by a character called the Hideous Damsel. She brings the questions neither the king nor Parsifal have wanted to address their whole lives. She asks what they have done with their lives, why they think their lives have really been worth anything. She questions the worth of all their achievements, asks if this hasn’t just been a kind of game, without any real purpose.

These are the questions that today we identify as the male mid-life crisis. After working for twenty years and succeeding, men are plagued by the questions of whether they have really succeeded at all, or just spent their life chasing shadows. These questions are an invitation, finally, to bring the struggles inside, to do the self-examination needed to find whether this is, in fact, the kind of life they wanted. Hard questions. We’ll do almost anything to avoid them.

This is the time when many men, not surprisingly, try to find a new Fair Damsel to take their minds off the Hideous Damsel. Maybe if they can convince themselves they’re still young, they can start again with a new wife, a new family, and somehow take a path that won’t run into the questions of the Hideous Damsel down the road.

The role of the Hideous Damsel doesn’t have to be a woman, or even a person. Yes, it could be the man’s wife or mother, but it could also be his son or daughter, his best friend, a preacher or a therapist. Or it may have been a character in a movie he saw, like the movie “About Schmidt.” These are the events that play the role of the Hideous Damsels, asking the questions of what meaning his life had, and they suddenly hit him, and he realizes that he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know.

My own father turned this story into farce in his determination to avoid life’s hard questions. He married seven times. The last two Fair Maidens were mail-order brides from a magazine called “Foreign Women Who Want to Meet American Men.” His last marriage came at the age of 68, to a 28-year-old woman who wanted, perhaps desperately, to leave the Philippines. They had two young children together, now teenagers, which she raised alone after he died eleven years later.

But if men keep trying to relive their adolescent dreams, they never become whole. Salvation eludes them. What a frustrating labyrinth!

So what’s the answer? It’s really one answer, though it comes from many directions, many cultures. The subject, after all, is the same: the human condition, and what to do within it.

About 170 years ago the great Frenchman de Toqueville observed after his visit to America that we have a misleading idea at the very head of our Constitution: the pursuit of happiness. One can not pursue happiness, he thought; if he does he obscures it. If he will proceed with the human task of life, if he can relocate the center of gravity of his personality to something greater, outside himself, happiness will be the outcome.

Psychologist Erik Erikson wrote that as we get older, we must find a way to give back to the world, that our power and our work must finally be grounded in something transcendent like life or the world.

And where is this transcendence, this source of power, to be found? Again, one answer, many versions. A wonderful and unusual medieval Christian proverb says, “To search for God is to insult God.” A Chinese story tells of a fish that heard some men talking on a pier about a miraculous substance called water. This “water,” they were saying, could do everything: support you, transport you, nourish you, and it was abundantly plentiful. The fish was so intrigued! “Water,” it bubbled to itself, “why, I need some of that stuff!” So he called his fish friends together and announced he was going in quest of this wonderful water stuff. A few years later he returned, long fish beard, and his old friends gathered around him. “Well,” they asked, “did you find it? This “water” stuff: did you find it?” The old fish sighed. “Yes,” he said, “Yes, I found it. And you wouldn’t believe it, you just wouldn’t believe it!” And he swam slowly away. And the most advanced teaching of Hinduism is “That art Thou” – we are one with all that is, and our efforts and our lives need to serve it.

What does the Grail serve? The myth of the Holy Grail is Christian, so in their language they say the Grail serves God, that eventually all our power and all our efforts must be put in the service of God or we will never be whole, never find salvation.

But there are many other ways of saying this. We would agree with Tocqueville that the object of life is not happiness, but to serve life or the world. The creative powers of the universe, of life, created us, and we do not find our completion until we find a way of reconnecting, returning. The stardust wants its connection to the other stardust. The stuff of life wants to become one with life again. Hindus have another wonderful story of the salt doll who was also in search of this “water” stuff and made its way to the ocean. Now the salt doll was made entirely of salt. When it reached the ocean, it just waded right in – and began dissolving, of course. Just before it had completely dissolved, the last sound it was heard to make was a quiet “Aaahh!” We must return the power to its origins. The power serves the whole, not the parts.

This same motif appears in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Fellowship of the Ring, now a major motion picture nominated for several Academy Awards. The power must be taken from those who would exploit it. In the Grail myth the source of power is given to the representative of God. In Tolkien’s myth the ring of power is taken from evil hands that would use its power to destroy the world and is put back into the ground from which it came. Current myths often speak of returning power to the earth before we destroy ourselves. Jesus said “Whatever you do to the least of these, you do also to me.”

This isn’t mythology, it’s real life stuff. Bill Gates, the world’s richest man, has now put about twenty billion dollars into a foundation to help some of the weakest, poorest kids in the world. Why? Not for a tax write-off, I think, but because at some level he may know what the Grail serves, and is trying to find his own completion by serving it too. Former Austin resident and UT graduate Rene Zellweiger, who was just paid $10 million for her Oscar-nominated role in the movie “Chicago,” was on television the other day saying we must protest the injustices she feels our country is threatening to inflict on the world, and said she knows she will be arrested for these actions, but doesn’t care. She has gained great power and seems to know already that it is seductive, that she can’t be whole when the world is not. I do think many women see this sooner than most men.

I suspect this is the real motive behind a lot of philanthropy: the need to feel connected with the mysterious powers of life that created us, sustain us, and will claim us in the end.

We have a model of the famous labyrinth from France’s Chartres Cathedral in our social hall today. Millions of people have found walking the labyrinth to be a deeply spiritual experience. In a way, the plot of the labyrinth is the plot of the quest for the Holy Grail, and of this sermon. You start walking, and soon feel that you’re getting nearer and nearer to the center. Then suddenly you’re taken in the other direction, and are soon in the furthest ring from the center. This is like hearing the questions from the Hideous Damsel, wondering what your life has been about and whether it’s worth it. It’s easy to get depressed, or to want to start over and see if there isn’t a quicker route. But when you stay with it, the path turns toward the center and, with one detour, you’re suddenly there.

You don’t have to do it over again. You don’t have to start your life all over again, even if you could. You can do it from where you are right now. You just have to relocate the center of gravity of your personality, to put your soul in the service of that which is truly transcendent, ultimate, and enduring. This is what the great religions have always said. Always.

When you do it, return the power to the service of life, God, the world, when you re-center your soul’s quest around that, you’re suddenly home. It can be just that quick, just that quick: in the labyrinth, in life, and even in this sermon.

The Soul's Code

© Davidson Loehr

9 March 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

INVOCATION:

We come to seek beyond sight,

 to listen beyond sounds,

 to be opened to life

 at levels sometimes comforting

 and sometimes disturbing

 but always in that neighborhood

 where our minds, hearts and souls

 find their common ground,

 and their common purpose.

It is good to be together again, for

It is a sacred time, this

And a sacred place, this:

a place for questions more profound than answers,

vulnerability more powerful than strength,

– and a peace that can pass all understanding.

It is a sacred time, this:

Let us begin it together in song.

CENTERING PRAYER:

I want to share with you a short prayer, a Yoruban prayer from Africa. Prayers often sound funny to many modern people, kind of foreign, as though they are talking to an imaginary friend up above the sky. This prayer can also be heard that way. But I invite you to let it get inside of you by asking to whom or to what, for you, could this prayer be addressed? It’s very short, I’ll read it twice:

O Divine One! I give thanks

 to You, the one who is as near as my

 heartbeat, and more anticipated than my

 next breath. Let Your wisdom become one

 with this vessel as I lift my voice in

 thanks for Your love.

O Divine One! I give thanks

to You, the one who is as near as my

heartbeat, and more anticipated than my

next breath. Let Your wisdom become one

with this vessel as I lift my voice in

thanks for Your love.

Amen.

SERMON: The Soul’s Code

We need a fresh way of looking at the importance of our lives. We need better stories, more interesting plots to live out.

I don’t say this only because I recently spent four days in Lubbock, though it is related. I gave four talks there, one on a theological argument for abortion to an audience of Texas Tech students where I got over an hour’s worth of questions, almost all of them hostile. Lubbock doesn’t permit sex education in its public schools. It also has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Texas, which has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the U.S., which has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world. So it’s not surprising that they are living out of some pretty sad stories.

One young man told me that it didn’t bother him that some local 15-year-old girls were having their second child, or that Lubbock led the nation in births to teen-aged girls who can’t care for the babies, because “If even one of those babies comes to know the Lord, it will have been worth it.” Worth sacrificing thousands of human beings who, in his story, just don’t matter.

In some ways, this is a problem of organized religions, which have been in denial since the loss of the supernatural world. When God can be no more than a concept, the concept has had trouble competing with other, sometimes better, concepts, and stories to live by.

But it isn’t just organized religions that have trouble coming up with adequate stories. Yesterday I read in the new issue of Newsweek about a 52-year-old French chef who committed suicide because his restaurant lost its three-star rating. What was that story about? And the suicide rate of America’s teenagers is the highest in the developed world; so we have a lot of people without a story worth living by.

In some ways, the most important human question we have is “How do I put the pieces of my life and my world together into a coherent life? How do I find a story worth living out?”

Now consider this: What if we already carry within us a kind of dynamic force that can help lead us toward the kind of life story we need? What if the style of our integrity comes into the world with us, and we just need to learn how to hear it and listen to it?

What if you had a kind of guardian angel that was always with you? That knew your soul, that could help guide you toward authenticity? And what if it had a kind of invisible presence and power that could help you, hold you on course, help you be true to yourself, if you just stayed in touch with it?

This picture is what billions of people for thousands of years have believed was the true order of the universe. It isn’t quite the world of the gods, it’s more ancient than the gods. It’s the world of the invisible powers within our lives, both individually and collectively.

Since ancient times, most people have believed this is really the case. The Greeks spoke of the daimon that comes into the world with each person, and can guide us toward the kind of life we must lead. The Romans called this our genius. It didn’t have anything to do with I.Q., it had more to do with the word “genie,” from which it came. Our genie, or genius, was a kind of invisible spirit that’s a part of us. The great geniuses of history are people who have followed the lead of their most amazing genies. I’ve known just a few geniuses, and found them to be very driven people. They didn’t really have a choice, they had to do what they were doing. Those I knew did it better than almost anyone alive. The genie that drove them also blessed them. But we can all be blessed by our daimon, our genie, our soul.

Christians have this notion too, though it isn’t as intellectual. For centuries, Christians have written about our guardian angel, who acts just about like the daimon or the genius. And both Hindus and Buddhists talk about our karma as that invisible force that seems to contain our script, to point toward what we must do and how we must live.

A few years ago, this ancient theory was given another look by the Jungian psychologist James Hillman, in a book called The Soul’s Code. That code is the invisible sort of message we carry with us that can point us toward who we must try to become. Our soul, you understand, isn’t a kind of little bag of gas. It isn’t a “thing” in that way. It’s more like a moving style, the way we are, the way we need to be in order to be true to ourselves.

Though Hillman seems to dart in and out of supernaturalism when he writes, there is nothing spooky about this. A few weeks ago I talked about the fact we’ve all observed, that each animal, including us, comes into the world with a unique sort of character or style, and they always try to live in that style. It’s true with dogs, cats, horses and humans, nothing spooky about it, and that’s what the ancients were calling the daimon or genius or guardian angel though I don’t think dogs, cats and horses are presumed to have angels in Christianity.

James Hillman calls all this his Acorn Theory, which holds that each person has a uniqueness that asks to be lived and that is already present before it can be lived. (p. 6) That’s the sense in which our character is our destiny. That’s the soul’s code.

Since this soul or genius is easiest to see in the really exemplary people where it is most dramatic, Hillman uses stories from some of their lives to make his theory come alive.

Consider this event. Amateur Night at the Harlem Opera House. A skinny, awkward sixteen-year-old goes fearfully onstage. She is announced to the crowd: “The next contestant is a young lady named Ella Fitzgerald. “Miss Fitzgerald here is gonna dance for us”. “Hold it, hold it. Now what’s your problem, honey?” Correction, folks. “Miss Fitzgerald has changed her mind.” She’s not gonna dance, she’s gonna sing.” Ella Fitzgerald gave three encores and won first prize. (10)

Or take the story of Golda Meir, who led Israel during the 1973 war. Her career was launched by her soul’s calling while in fourth grade in the Milwaukee public schools. She organized a protest group against the required purchase of schoolbooks, which were too expensive for the poorer children, who were thus denied equal opportunity to learn. This child of eleven rented a hall to stage a meeting, raised funds, gathered her group of girls, prepped her little sister to declaim a social poem in Yiddish, and then herself addressed the assembly. Was she not already a Labor party prime minister? (20)

When you see a story this dramatic begin to unfold, it is just mesmerizing, though I think many of us experience something similar, if less dramatic. The highlight of my four days in Lubbock was a young woman who may well belong in this kind of company. Her name is Shelby Knox, and she spoke very boldly and articulately about the need for sex education in public schools. In fact, she presented her speech to the National Education Association two years ago, followed by a camera crew from HBO, which is filming a documentary on her because two years ago when she delivered that speech, she was fourteen.

My hosts invited her to a dinner with some of us, and I had a chance to experience this girl first-hand. She knows exactly who she is and what she must do, and has absolutely no doubts that she will do it. She has a 4.0 grade average, and after she graduates from high school in 2005, she plans to attend either New York University or American University and begin to learn how to change the direction of politics, our country, and perhaps the world. I wouldn’t bet against her.

She reminded me of the theme of this sermon, so I talked with her about this acorn theory, and she identified with it immediately. Before she knew who she was and what she must do, she said she was confused and scared. But then after she turned eleven, everything became clear. She discovered an inner beacon that shines like a laser beam.

She reminded me of the story of the greatest of all Spanish bullfighters, Manolete. As a child, Manolete was timid and fearful, delicate and sickly, interested only in painting and reading. He clung so tightly to his mother’s apron strings that his sisters and other children used to tease him. He rarely joined other boys’ games of soccer or playing at bullfighting. This all changed when he was about eleven, and for the rest of his life, nothing else mattered much except the bulls. (15-16)

Don’t let this sound spooky. We live among a throng of invisibles that order us about: family values, self-development, human relationships, personal happiness, and then another, more fierce set of mythical figures called Control, Success, Cost-Effectiveness, and the Economy. Were we in old Florence or ancient Rome or Athens, the invisibles would have statues and altars, or at least painted images, like the ancient invisibles called fortune, Hope, Friendship, Grace, Modesty, Persuasion, and the rest. But our task here is not to restore all the invisibles but to discriminate among them by attending to the one that once was called your daimon or genius, sometimes your soul or your fate, or your acorn. (96)

In ancient times, the world had been permeated with invisibilities, a condition that Christianity called paganism. (111) Throughout history though, in almost all cultures, people have had ways of relating to the invisible forces that help guide and inspire their lives. That’s what prayers are really about, too. At their worst, prayers sound like selfish petitions for supernatural powers to do favors for us. Sometimes, they’re just poetic thanks for being alive. But at their best, I think prayers are our efforts to stay in touch with the powerful but invisible dimensions of life that seem to know our name, know our story, have our best interests at heart, and hints of our best kind of future.

That’s what I think the African prayer was about that I used this morning. If I think of it as referring to somebody up above the sky, it makes no sense. But if I think of it as trying to communicate with my own soul, with the angels of my better nature, with the source of wisdom inside of me that knows my name and who I need to be, then suddenly the prayer becomes real and honest in a new way.

Listen to it again in this way, as a way of your speaking to whatever it is that you do count on for the wisdom, the direction, and the courage to guide your life, and see if it doesn’t speak to you:

O Divine One! I give thanks

to You, the one who is as near as my

heartbeat, and more anticipated than my

next breath. Let Your wisdom become one

with this vessel as I lift my voice in

thanks for Your love.

Amen.

Nicaragua – Some reflections

Cathy Harrington 

March 2, 2003

The text of this sermon is unavailable but you can listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

I want to talk to you about my trip to Nicaragua last month. I traveled to Nicagaua with “The Faithful Fools Street Ministry.” The Fools have been an important part of my life since my first semester of seminary…

The Legitimate Heir to Salvation

© Davidson Loehr

23 February 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Four Part Series

In the Beginning

Original Sins and Blessings

Reconsidering the Concept of God

The Legitimate Heir to Salvation

Introduction

With every new revelation of the Homeland Security Act that appears, it seems clear that individual and civil rights are being threatened wholesale, while few seem to notice. The second section of this act, which a guest discussed with Bill Moyers a week ago on his NOW program, makes it clear that the government can declare war against not only sovereign nations without provocation, but that they can also declare war against individual citizens of this country. I know some people who scoff at this, saying only a paranoid individual would think the government would really do things like this that are characteristic of fascist governments but not democracies. Maybe. Maybe we’ll just have to differ on that.

But with or without paranoia, I’ve been thinking all week of the few famous lines written almost sixty years ago by pastor Martin Niemoller, after the fall of the Nazi movement in his Germany. He had been an outspoken critic of both Hitler and the Nazis almost from the start, and ended the war in the concentration camp at Dachau, freed by the American army shortly before he was to be executed.

In 1945, he wrote this short confession which has been quoted thousands of times, and which is beginning to appear in e-mails and critical news stories. I want to remind us of it:

Prayer

Martin Niemoller

First they came for the Communists,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,

and by that time there was no one

left to speak up for me.

For me, Niemoller’s warning applies to religion as well as it does to politics: maybe more. And the soul of his message is one Jesus put in even fewer words: We are all our brother’s and our sister’s keepers. We are all our brother’s and our sister’s keepers.

SERMON

Since I didn’t grow up in a conservative religion, most religious jargon isn’t loaded for me. So I usually think of the word “God” as a symbol for our highest ideals and values. And I think of the word “salvation” in its original meaning: as health, wholeness (it comes from the same Latin root as “salve”). For me, the terms are kind of safe and abstract.

But when I hear many of your stories about why you left the churches of your childhood, or why your family avoided churches altogether, I realize that in the real world, “salvation” had a very different meaning, and not a very positive one. It meant getting a group’s or a church’s acceptance only as long as you agreed not to think outside the lines drawn by their orthodoxy. Neither my definition of God or of salvation would have worked in those churches. That’s partly why I grew up unchurched: I didn’t respect the few churches I tried.

I can’t count the number of times I have heard Unitarians talk about how they felt when they knew they had to leave their old church. Some felt angry, some felt hurt, to realize that they couldn’t stay because they didn’t believe those things, and it wasn’t safe to say so out loud. Not that you’d be shot, but people would look at you funny if you had said you weren’t so sure about this God-stuff. They might have called you an atheist or a heretic, as though that were a bad thing. And they would have made you uncomfortable, as though you weren’t quite clean any more. So you left. It’s also why so many people – a majority of U.S. citizens – neither attend nor trust churches. The gods are the hand puppets of those who speak for them, and salvation is your reward for going along with their game.

So I suppose what I really want to talk about here isn’t salvation, but the legitimate heir to what was once called salvation. I love that phrase, and want to footnote it. It comes from my favorite philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951), the thinker on whom I wrote my dissertation. I’d rate him as one of the four best philosophers in history (Plato, Aristotle, and Kant). When people finally understand him widely, it might change the nature of philosophy, and religion, in fundamental ways. At some point during his teaching years at Cambridge, another philosopher (could have been Bertrand Russell, Alfred North Whitehead, or G.E. Moore, I forget) asked him what it was that he was doing: “It’s certainly not philosophy!” Wittgenstein’s response was “Perhaps not, but it’s the legitimate heir to what was once called philosophy.” Now I want to talk for these few minutes about the legitimate heir to salvation.

There are two facets to salvation, and it’s easy to emphasize the wrong one by thinking that all we have to do is just be honest and open about what we really believe, try to fashion beliefs that are true to both our heads and our hearts, then try to live them. But that’s the easy part, the part we don’t have to worry much about. Every one of you already has your sense of questions, yearnings, your way of saying what you do and don’t believe.

The second part of this salvation business – and the most important and most fragile part – is the thing Martin Niemoller was talking about in this morning’s prayer. It is a kind of atmosphere within which it is safe to voice your beliefs, whether theological, social, moral or political, without being made to feel that you are a second-class person, or a member of The Damned. That atmosphere is what was lacking in whatever church you felt you had to leave. Why was it lacking? Because are rules in all churches, and the church that offended you probably had the wrong rules.

In theological terms, these rules can be called an orthodoxy: a set of beliefs endorsed by a group, and used as the boundaries of permissible belief for everyone in the religion. Once an orthodoxy is in place, the choices are closed, even if you hadn’t finished choosing yet. And the theological word for choosing after some group has set up an orthodoxy is heresy. It comes from a Greek verb meaning, “to choose.” So heresy is only considered bad by those who closed off the choices before you were done. When you look at it this way, heresy is the sacred thing, and orthodoxy is the blasphemy. Heresy is the Holy Spirit, alive and well, helping you find beliefs that can make you whole. Orthodoxy is a kind of groupthink that would cut you – and God – down to the group’s size.

The Greeks had a different image for orthodoxy, in their story of Procrustes. He was this man with an iron bed. He was very friendly to his visitors, always offering them that bed to sleep on. But once on it, he tied them down, then either stretched them to fit the bed or cut off whatever parts hung over. He had his iron bed, and everyone had to fit it. That’s orthodoxy.

Another image comes from the television series “Star Trek.” It’s the group known collectively as The Borg. I suspect more of you watch Star Trek than read Greek mythology, so you probably know about the Borg. They are a kind of group, or cult, that simply assimilates everyone into them, erasing individual differences and essentially giving everyone the soul of the group, the collective, the cult, the Borg.

And that word “cult” is another one referring to the biggest obstacle to finding your salvation in a church. A couple weeks ago I was invited to a lunch with Daniel McGuire, a Jesuit scholar brought to town by Planned Parenthood to talk about religious sanctions for both family planning and abortion.

During his luncheon talk, he referred to his church, the Catholic Church, as a cult. This shocked one Catholic woman there, who asked what he meant. A cult, he said, takes away your beliefs and gives you theirs. It assigns authority only to its own teachings, draws the boundaries on what it is permissible to think, and seeks to exclude those who do not conform. In that sense, he said, the Church has always been a cult, and has always been an obstacle to salvation. And he pointed out what every religion student knows: that virtually every famous religious thinker in history was a heretic in their day, because they went beyond the beliefs accepted by their group. My favorite sound byte of the day was when he defined conservatives as “worshipers of dead liberals.”

I think all these images are good ones. So think of it as an orthodoxy, a Procrustean habit of cutting you down to fit someone else’s bed, of the Borg ignoring and absorbing your soul and giving you its own impersonal soul; or think of it as a cult that limits the acceptable beliefs to those that stay within the boundaries set out by whatever people got to define the beliefs of the cult, and turn the institution into their hand-puppet. Whatever you call it, it is the mortal enemy of your ability to find salvation in that community.

Think back on the anger or pain you felt in a church that wasn’t big enough for your questions or your beliefs, and see if this doesn’t describe it. You were being cut down to something so small your soul wouldn’t fit. Once the boundaries are drawn, once the “right” beliefs and opinions have been defined, everyone else becomes a second-class citizen, and slightly unclean. I know that you know the feeling, that all of us have experienced it at some time.

The most important facet of a quest for wholeness, authenticity, integrity, salvation, is the kind of atmosphere within which all sincere beliefs are equally welcome, equally “clean.” Without that atmosphere, no community is finally safe. Then it’s like Martin Niemoller wrote about in the confession of his that I used as our prayer this morning:

First they came for the Communists,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I wasn’t a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,

and I didn’t speak up,

because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,

and by that time there was no one

left to speak up for me.

That atmosphere was shattered, and so no one could be safe, let alone made whole or healthy.

I’m betting that none of you would have left your former church if they had been able to say “Look, we’re trying to explore what it means to be most fully alive and human, as individuals, partners, parents and citizens. Our tradition has had the habit of doing this in God-talk, or in terms of Buddha or Krishna and Brahman. But these are just ways of speaking. If you would put these common goals differently, please do. They’re only ways of talking, after all, not sacred words. And the more ways we can say it, the more likely we really know what we’re talking about. We’re enriched by a true diversity of beliefs on ultimate questions, so welcome!”

That’s the atmosphere I mean: the atmosphere or culture of the place that keeps all sincere opinions equally welcome. This doesn’t mean you have to respect those opinions, understand! Opinions have to get their respect the old-fashioned way: they have to earn it, in open dialogue. And I’m not talking about frivolous, narcissistic or sociopathic opinions – I’m remembering a church I knew where a disturbed member wanted to host a discussion group on the joys of pedophilia! But the people who hold sincere opinions have to feel welcome and “clean.”

Too often, to find yourself and your beliefs, you have to leave the community that wants to cut you down to fit their iron bed. We’ve had a couple examples of this in Austin, both involving Baptist churches. Several years ago, the minister of University Baptist Church had a story about him on the front page of the New York Times because that church ordained a gay deacon, in violation of the new orthodoxy of the Southern Baptist Convention. As a result, in order to live out their beliefs, they withdrew from the SBC.

And last year it happened again, when the First Baptist Church downtown withdrew from the SBC rather than conform to beliefs they felt were small and mean. The choices had been closed before they had finished choosing.

One of the least attractive things about human nature is our undying desire to make the world in the image of our beliefs: to turn our gods and our institutions into our hand puppets. If those beliefs are truly expansive and inclusive, that might be a good world. But they almost never are. They’re almost always partisan, following the party lines of some theology, some social ideology, some political platform. Iron beds. Iron beds, all of them. And the most abiding and mortal enemy of both the human spirit and the Holy Spirit.

Nearly all the great religious figures had to leave their communities in order to be saved, in order to find their distinctive wholeness and authenticity. Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, all of them. And it’s true on a less cosmic scale, too. In the Unitarian tradition, we celebrate the courage of a Congregationalist minister named William Ellery Channing, who defined a nonsupernatural Unitarian Christianity back in 1819, and is cited as the first American-born Unitarian.

But we almost never tell the other story about Channing, one that’s really more to the point for us. And that’s that at the end of his career, he resigned from the Unitarian church he had served his whole adult life, because they drew up a creed of expected beliefs for their members. He would not be spoken for, and he could remain whole only by leaving the church he had served for decades. His church became a cult, another iron bed, and he left rather than being absorbed by the Borg.

It can happen so easily. That expansive atmosphere is so very fragile, so easily destroyed. During graduate school, I attended an unusually liberal Christian church because it was healthier than the Unitarian church a block away. They really did welcome all beliefs, and said so. They practiced an open communion, the only time in my life I took communion.

It was hard sometimes being clear about just where the boundaries were there, whether anything could be presumed about all the members. Some of the more rigid Christians were always trying to bring back confessional tests of faith. Finally, someone suggested to the board that the church say that whatever beliefs people had, we could all agree that our primary purpose was to help establish the kingdom of God.

That was a metaphor for the best kind of world, the world with the most justice, fairness, and compassion. The church was involved in social activism, and the board thought it fit. I was doing my student internship there, and I thought it fit too. After all, how could that metaphor be turned into something small and scary?

It didn’t take long to find out. It was done by a man named Dan, a student preparing for the ministry. Dan was perhaps the most dedicated and courageous social activist I’ve ever met. He marched, and was arrested with, Chicago union workers in their strikes. He and his wife learned Spanish and spent dangerous weeks in both Guatemala and Nicaragua during the 1980s when Reagan’s Contras were killing so many people there. Dan was a good, brave man. He was very active in Chicago politics, too.

So nobody saw it coming when he stood one Sunday during Prayers of the People to remind us that we all agreed we were there to help establish the kingdom of God. Then he reminded us that Tuesday was Election Day, and said, “You will either be working for or against the kingdom of God Tuesday. If you vote Democratic, you are working for the kingdom of God. Otherwise, you are an enemy of God’s kingdom. Remember that!”

Everyone was stunned. No one ever successfully confronted Dan, because he knew he was right, and right for the whole church. For my remaining three years there, the church was never quite the same. The next year a retired professor announced, during a week that he stood at the table for our monthly Communion, that Communion was a Christian sacrament, and as such was open to all Christians who had accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. That really finished it. That fragile atmosphere was shattered, and no one knew how to repair it. Some of us just left, and no longer had a church.

Don’t think this sort of thing happens only in Christian churches. It’s part of human nature, it happens everywhere. I know this first-hand, because I served a church where this liberal atmosphere necessary for the legitimate heir to salvation was shattered. There was a small group of secular humanists, about 5% of the church, who were unhappy with a style of liberal religion that used a lot of ways of talking about religious questions.

Finally, they got three of their group on the board, and one bullied the others into making him president of the board. Within a few months, he gave me a small piece of paper with a list of words I was told that I was not to use from the pulpit. The list included words like soul, spirit, God, and miracle. He insisted that I still had freedom of the pulpit, but said those words offended the humanists, and my job as a minister was to care for their feelings, so to be an adequate minister I couldn’t use those words.

Of course, I did use those words. I would be a liberal even if I were the only one in the room. An increasingly vicious fight went on for over two years. They were so sure they were right that one of them finally made a public death threat against me, in front of a board member and the church administrator. I preached the second service that morning while police were outside taking statements. That’s a cult.

I had a nine-year-old stepdaughter who said she was sick, and missed the next week of school. When she still didn’t want to return to school the following Sunday, we finally thought to ask her why she didn’t want to go to school: “I’m afraid they’ll kill me too,” she said. Since cults serve themselves rather than truth or life, they can do great harm, and cause great “collateral damage.” The attendance at that church is now about half what it was ten years ago. Once that fragile atmosphere is destroyed, it can be almost impossible to create again, even ten years later.

The most dangerous people on earth are those who think something is so simple there is only one right position, which coincidentally happens to be theirs. In religion’s orthodoxies and cults, in political systems that claim the right to arrest dissenters, or in other social, theological or cultural ideologies that work like the Borg.

The reason it is so easy for us to recognize images like Procrustes’ Iron Bed, cults, or the Borg is because all of these come from something deep within our human nature. Dangerous, but absolutely natural. We would all be most comfortable in a world where we got to prescribe some basic beliefs and values for others, just as our gods become the hand puppets of those who speak for them. We create orthodoxies at the drop of a hat: theological, political, social, even down to dress codes.

Salvation is like democracy: only eternal vigilance can make it possible. So here you are in this very liberal church. Among your questions, you may wonder what you need to do to make this a place that can provide the legitimate heir to salvation. Remember salvation has two parts. The first is that you have to bring your own questions, your own beliefs, and be willing to work on them until they feel adequate to live by, then keep working on them as long as you want to keep growing.

I don’t worry about that one. You bring your questions with you, and aren’t likely to be talked out of them, here or anywhere.

But the other one, the maintenance of that fragile atmosphere within which all sincere beliefs are equally welcome and equally “clean” – that’s where you owe something here. That’s where you owe your own vigilance, to counter that unquenchable desire we all have subtly to trim the acceptable beliefs to fit the bed in which we’ve grown so comfortable.

I think the legitimate heir to salvation is only available in healthy liberal churches. And they are only healthy if that invisible, fragile, life-giving atmosphere is preserved, within which all sincere religious, political or moral beliefs are equally welcomed into dialogue in a community of moral equals who will ultimately never agree on the best way to be saved.

And what is it? How else can it be put? I think there is something about this “legitimate heir to what was once called salvation” that is more advanced and challenging than the mere notion of salvation, even in its traditional liberal interpretations (health, wholeness, integrity, authenticity, etc.).

It goes beyond mere salvation to say that even more important than our own growth is our duty – it is a sacred duty – to preserve and maintain that fragile liberal atmosphere within which all may freely pursue their different paths to the kind of wholeness we call salvation. The Buddhists speak of the sangha, or sacred community, as one of the essential parts of enlightenment. Some very few might do it alone, but most of us need to be part of a community of seekers, people who know to regard ultimate concerns as ultimate rather than secondary, as society does. Our spiritual roots grow deep and our branches reach high only in serious soil, in a “garden” kept safe by the mutual protection of all in the community who know – as Martin Niemoller learned the hard way – that finally none can be free or safe unless all are free and safe.

There is an ancient image for the understanding of “truth” that underlies this picture: it’s the old Indian story of the blind people and the elephant. The “elephant” is life, in all its complexity and mystery. Each “blind person” is one person, or even one discipline (psychology, geology, theology, history, etc.). They can see only what the deep biases of their discipline (or their personal biography) permit. No one will ever see the whole “elephant”: it isn’t a problem that existed only because the ancients were ignorant while we are smart. And even if it were possible to see every possible view, understand all disciplines with something to say about life and the human condition, it would still be paltry. In terms of the metaphor, you can’t understand an elephant unless you are the elephant – and even then, you’d be only one “elephant”: there are so many more.

The legitimate heir to what was once called salvation exists in a pluralistic world where humility is part of the whole intellectual and spiritual enterprise and where, because of this, all sincere beliefs, investigations, perspectives and feelings must be allowed into the never-ending open discussions about life’s ultimate concerns. And they can not be welcome unless we in the spiritual community, the sangha, covenant to protect and defend that essential, life-giving, fragile atmosphere within which all sincere people and opinions are welcomed into both discussion and fellowship.

If I understand the teachings of Jesus right, he would have called this the kingdom of God. Buddha might have called it a community of the enlightened who recognize the Buddha-seeds in all others, and who protect and nurture those precious seeds.

Joseph Campbell once said that an authentic person rejuvenates the world. They really do. Imagine what an authentic community might do!

The fact that your political or religious beliefs don’t work for me should be all the proof I need that mine aren’t likely to work for you. It sounds, and is, a bit messy. But that’s the mess of people trusted with their freedom. In a church where all sincere beliefs are equally welcomed into dialogue, we can find – if not salvation, then the legitimate heir to what was once called salvation. In fact, it is the only kind of church where we can find it.

Reconsidering the Concept of God

© Davidson Loehr

16 February 2003

First UU Church of Austin

4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756

www.austinuu.org

Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button.

Four Part Series

In the Beginning

Original Sins and Blessings

Reconsidering the Concept of God

The Legitimate Heir to Salvation

PRAYER

A. Powell Davies

May the life of our minds and breath of our being bring us once more to full remembrance of our greater calling. Strangely do we walk through the days of our years, unseeing, unhearing, inattentive, and the glory of life is all about us and we do not know that it is there. We wrap ourselves up in the petty and the trivial, and sometimes even in the mean and sordid, shutting out life’s promise. We are afraid of life – afraid of its truth and goodness and its mighty claim upon us – and we wall ourselves in, thinking to be safe: and so we scarcely live at all.

Oh, may the walls be broken down! Let winds that have swept the far horizons blow now upon the barriers that we have built to keep us paltry! Let them all be swept away! That the light of the heavens may light our lives, the vision of good enlarge our minds, and the love of all that is noble and true find room in our hearts.

How vain are all our hopes, how empty all our prayers, until we ourselves are ready to fulfill them.

SERMON: Reconsidering the Concept of God

The hymn we just sang was in 7/4 time. It’s an odd meter, you almost never hear or sing it, and it feels like you’re in strange territory, doing something you shouldn’t be. This sermon may strike you that way, too. How often have you even thought of reconsidering the concept of God?

God is discussed in our culture like a cartoon character, like a Critter. Almost the only “theological” question anyone thinks to ask is “Do you believe in God?” That’s a question that only makes sense if God is a kind of Critter. Then it’s like a simple true-false quiz: “God is a big Critter living up there somewhere: Yes or No?” And that’s really dumb.

So let’s get straight from the beginning. God is not and has never been a Critter, or a “being” of any kind that would have weight or occupy space. That’s Disneyworld, not religion. God is an idea, a concept. And theological questions are about the content and style of the concept, and it relevance to life.

Still, it may feel like we’re trying to dance in 7/4 time. So let’s start with a story.

One of my favorite stories from any religious scripture is the ancient story in the Bible of Jacob wrestling with God. Technically, it wasn’t God he was wrestling with, just a local deity guarding the river he wanted to cross. That’s how we know what an ancient story this is. People used to believe that all boundaries were guarded by spirits, that to cross over, to grow beyond a boundary, you had to wrestle with the god that guarded that boundary.

Modern psychologists also know this is true. To grow beyond a boundary that’s kept us too small, too ignorant, too enslaved, we must be willing to wrestle with the gods that guard that boundary.

That’s kind of what we’re about this morning: wrestling with concepts of God that are unhealthy and small, that enslave rather than empower.

Still, it’s a risky thing to do. In the Jacob story, he held on all night, finally receiving the blessing of the god and the ability to cross over the river, and even getting a new name: Israel, the father of the Twelve Tribes. But he was wounded in the struggle, and came out with a limp. He had that limp for the rest of his life. So it’s risky. But we’re brave. Besides, we’re just pretending. Maybe.

I’m trying to do something hard as well as odd: I want to persuade you of something you need to know about gods by convincing you that it’s something you already know. And that is that all gods are more like hand puppets than they are like puppeteers. Everyone who tells you what God is like or what God wants or says is using the concept like a hand puppet, either creating or choosing which words their God can and can’t say. So whether it’s a decent God usually depends on whose hands he’s in.

I want to persuade you that you know the difference between healthy concepts and bogus ones, and that only you can decide whether a god is good or bad, is worth serving with your life or not. I want to show you that the power is in you, not in the gods, and want to convince you that you have known this, at some level, all along.

Here’s what you already know: we already and automatically wrestle with almost every authority claiming power over us. For instance:

1. Automakers routinely tell us their machines are perfectly safe. But both governmental and private firms are always testing them, always doubting that they’re really telling us the truth, and are routinely exposing the design flaws the manufacturers were covering up. Why did they cover them up? Because it benefited them, even though it didn’t benefit us. But we check it out, because lives are at stake.

2. Or think about food. Governmental and private agencies are routinely inspecting the meat supplies and waste disposal processes at our largest food processing plants. The owners always tell us the meat and food are perfectly safe. But we know they have millions of dollars at stake, and we know they can and do lie to benefit themselves. So we expose a hundred tons of hamburger with e-coli, or Mad Cow Disease or other dangerous or deadly problems. The fact that an authoritative voice wearing a suit or a white lab coat tells us it’s safe doesn’t fool us until we have checked it out through our own agencies. Lives are at stake.

3. Or pharmaceuticals. To pick just one, I remember when the manufacturers of Fen-Phen were on trial, how they insisted that the drugs were just effective weight-reducing aids with no serious side effects, that they had done extensive testing, that everyone was safe. But the FDA wouldn’t take their word for it. They did independent tests and found that Fen-Phen damaged heart valves and could be fatal. A member of this church died here a year ago from heart damage from Fen-Phen. Authoritative people lie. Even if they really believe what they’re saying, we know they could be wrong. So we check it. Because lives are at stake.

The Three-Step

All of these claims and investigations have three parts. In every case I know of, all the truths, beliefs and gods we create have the same three steps. Just knowing them can give you a kind of User’s Guide to Hokum. Here is the three-step process by which truths and beliefs and gods are created. I won’t go through the steps in order, because the first step is invisible. It has to be invisible for the game to work.

The second step is that a company spokesman or other authoritative-looking person tells us something is true.

The third step is that they then say that, because it is true, we should go along with it, and everything will be all right.

But what all our investigations show is that there is a first step that they kept invisible. And the first step is that there is a set of facts or a state of affairs that would empower or enrich them, if it were really true. They have a stake in it; it’s how they see the world.

So the whole three-step process goes like this:

1. First, I want you to believe something because if you do it will empower or enrich me, or will confirm my view of the world.

2. Second, I convince myself, then tell you, that this is true and good and safe.

3. And third, since it is true and good and safe, you should follow it.

But when we want to know whether it’s really true or good or safe, we check it out. You don’t ask true believers to investigate their own truth-claims. You don’t ask Ford executives whether the gas tanks on its Pintos are really safe. You don’t ask the manufacturers of SUV’s whether they have a high likelihood of tipping over and injuring or killing the passengers. You don’t ask the manager of a Jack in the Box whether it’s safe to eat his hamburgers. You ask a nonbeliever. An outsider. You ask someone who has left the Garden of Eden, who can tell the difference between fact and fiction, good and evil, and let them investigate.

And that’s how we find out what we feel most safe believing is really true. This process looks a lot like the scientific method. Someone proposes a theory and says it’s true. So immediately other scientists who don’t believe the theory run the same experiments to see if the results are the same for nonbelievers. If not, the theory is false. If so, it may be true, at least for now.

And we do these tests, every day, because there are lives at stake. Now you already knew all of this. No news here. But this is how virtually every truth and every religious belief works, through the same three steps, with the same need for checking by unbelievers to see if it’s true or just familiar and convenient to the true believers.

We seem hardwired to respond to authoritative people and voices, so we are easy to fool. Advertising agencies, political advisors and slick preachers all count on it. I’ll tell you one more story that makes this point in a particularly enlightening way. You’ll be able to spot all three steps, with the invisible first step last, in an exceptionally clear and dramatic form:

The story is one Joseph Campbell told, about a tribe in Australia whose social order was maintained with the aid of “bullroarers.” These are long flat boards with a couple slits cut in them, which have a rope tied to the other end, and are swung around over one’s head, producing an eerie low kind of humming sound that seems quite otherworldly. When the gods were angry with the tribe, the gods would sound the bullroarers in the woods at night. No one, of course, ever saw them do this. The next day, the males of the tribe would explain what that gods were angry about, and what behaviors had to change.

This was far more than just a game. Campbell reports the time that a chief’s daughter found his bullroarer under his sleeping pad, brought it out and asked what it was: the chief killed her for violating this sacred object.

But the revelation comes at a key moment during the initiation of young men into manhood in the tribe. It’s all very dramatic, and very ritualized. In the evening, some of the tribe’s men, wearing masks, come to kidnap the young boy. The women pretend to defend him, though they know the routine, and eventually the men overpower them and drag the boy into the woods.

Once there, the boy is tied to a table, and a frightening and bloody initiation rite takes place. Technically, it’s called subincision, which means that, using a flint knife, a slit is made the length of the underside of the boy’s penis. (Men who have been through this have said that this makes them complete, with the genital marks of both a male and a female.)

But the revelation comes at the end. One of the men dips the end of the bullroarer in the boy’s blood, brings it up near his face, then removes his mask – so the boy will recognize him as a man he’s known all his life – and says the magical words: “We make the noises!” We make the noises we attribute to the gods. It’s equally true everywhere, it’s just seldom acknowledged as openly.

That’s what our independent investigations of defective cars, infected hamburger and deadly pharmaceuticals reveals, too. The authorities with the most to gain are the ones who make the noises saying we should believe them. And we have learned not to believe them until we have checked it out for ourselves. This is how concepts of gods are created.

There are thousands of examples from religion. To keep it manageable, I’ll only take three, and just take them from the Hebrew Scriptures that are common to Judaism, Christianity and Islam. All three of these come from the book of Deuteronomy, chapters 20 to 22. You can find dozens more like these in that book:

1. If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die. (Deuteronomy 22:22)

2. If upon marriage it is discovered that a woman isn’t a virgin, the men of the city shall stone her to death. (Deut. 22: 20-21)

3.If a son is stubborn and won’t obey his parents, then his parents will bring him to the elders at the city gate and the men of the city will stone him to death. (Deut. 21:18-21, all RSV)

When you hear such things, you know that’s a horrible concept of God that no decent or healthy person would admit into their lives. Even those bible-shaking preachers who insist that every word of the Bible is literally true never seem to quote these lines. They don’t believe them, either, and would regard anyone who acted on them as psychopathic or worse.

And we know it too, intuitively. You hear this ancient speaker claiming that these things are the word of God and so you should obey them. But instinctively, you know better. Every parent of rebellious teen-agers can understand the frustration in that last one. But every parent knows that anyone who actually did that, who actually had their own child murdered, was a repugnant person following a repugnant god, not a god of life or truth or wholeness. You sense that these awful sayings must have originated in a particular time and place maybe 2500 years ago, where whoever made them up was having trouble with authority or social control, so put those bloody words in the mouth of his god, trying to give authority to them.

Last week, I talked about escaping from the fool’s paradise pictured as the Garden of Eden. For the first four centuries of Christianity, eating the apple was celebrated as the human freedom that let us learn about good and evil. Seen this way, it’s a profound myth, saying that the price of growing up and learning to make necessary distinctions expels us from a child’s kind of paradise.

This is the same kind of story. Only by doubting the authorities – in food production, car production, drug production or god production – and trying to find out for ourselves what is good and what is evil, only by doing that can we ever escape from the fool’s paradise of believing that all advertising companies, politicians and preachers are trying to empower us rather than themselves.

So far, this sounds like a simple story of courage, of challenging authorities, defeating them, and exulting in triumph – like a bad martial-arts movie. But that’s not all there is to it. Because every time we find another manufacturer’s claims proven false, every time another group of politicians is caught lying to us, every time religious claims are shown to have been false and self-serving, we lose some of our naivete and our trust.

That’s the price of leaving paradise, the price of leaving Eden. Wrestling with gods usually leaves us with a limp. It’s never a cheap victory. Remember when you stopped believing there was this one Santa Claus guy who came down every chimney bringing presents to every child every Christmas – even though you didn’t have a chimney? Remember what you lost? Some people mark that as the end of their naive childhood.

And what happens when you reconsider the concept of God? You look at whose hands God has been in, and suddenly God looks more like a hand puppet than a puppeteer. You investigate and you realize God was never making the noises. People were making the noises: parents, preachers, politicians, people with their own agenda for you. They made the noises they had been taught to make. Maybe they even believed them. But what happens when you realize they were not true?

This three-step model isn’t one I made up. It’s taught in the best divinity schools and sociology departments, and has been for a quarter century or more. And when you understand how it works, you realize that it creates a dilemma for us, especially in the field of religion.

On the one hand, if you forget about the invisible first step, and simply internalize and obey the “truths” you are taught, eventually they will not fit the times, the situations, or you. Then they become kind of demonic – as they would if anyone really took the instructions in those examples from the book of Deuteronomy seriously.

On the other hand, if you take the liberal route, if you challenge and debunk those claims for truth or God, then in some ways the price is even steeper, and the limp is even greater. For if even the idea of God you’ve taught can be wrong, that what can’t be wrong? How and where could you ever again find absolutely unshakable certainty? And where, then, would you find your moral bearing?

You can lose faith in God. Do you also lose faith in even the idea of God? Many do. You don’t think that’s a limp? It’s a limp. Do you lose faith even in the idea of truth, or goodness, justice or beauty? That’s worse than a limp. Don’t do that.

You can always try to return to the fool’s paradise where you stay ignorant and don’t learn the difference. But the God in the Eden story was also created by priests and tribal chiefs who were served by that compliant ignorance. Why would you want to exalt them, or their self-serving idea of God? You might as well wrestle with God yourself, and cross over.

But crossing over, wrestling with God, isn’t cheap. For God is like Santa Claus in that way. You lost the child’s magical Santa when your eyes were opened. And you lose the child’s magical god in the same way – by having your eyes opened and realizing that we make the noises.

To wrestle with our gods is often to wind up disillusioned. I’ve had ministers tell me that’s why they don’t encourage their people to question the concept of God too deeply: they’re afraid they’ll become disillusioned. That sounds bad. But think about it: Is being disillusioned really worse than being “illusioned”? I’d think, if you’re illusioned, you’d want to get disillusioned! Or you can get cynical or desperate, thinking that nothing, after all, is sacred but the integrity of your own mind. But that isn’t true either.

To wrestle with the concept of God and win, I think we need to be armed with some of the things we’ve been examining in the last two sermons:

that we are made of stardust, we are deeply at home in the universe, intimately tied to everything, that the dynamic power of the universe is also in us, and that part of our destiny lies in reclaiming our noble origins.

that all life on earth is linked, too. We are not alone here, we are connected as members of a family, all the way down. All people are our brothers and sisters. Here, in Iraq, in Nicaragua, everywhere.

And we need to remember that authoritative claims that would take away our power and dignity and transfer them to others are always lies, lies and blasphemies against life and truth and everything that is whole and holy.

Wrestling with the concept of God grants us both honor, and a task. Since we make the noises, it is now up to us to see that those noises are sacred noises: noises of truth that empower, not that enslave, truth that sets us free, not that puts us or others in heavier chains.

Part of growing up religiously is escaping from a child’s Garden of Eden, understanding who makes the noises, and understanding that most of our truths and most of our gods are the hand puppets of the politicians, preachers and churches who benefit from using their voice to control people. Those are false gods and need to be unmasked. But there is still wonder and miracle and mystery, and the magic of transformation in the world. We lose an excuse not to act. We lose an excuse for not getting involved. That’s our human calling: to escape from the fool’s paradise and search for truth and wholeness East of Eden.

And what is left of the concept of God? Perhaps the Buddhists can help here. They tell the story of the finger pointing at the moon, and the poor people who spent all their time looking at the finger, never seeing the moon. Perhaps we will gain a fresh view of the moon. And once we can see the light, that pointing finger is just a distraction, isn’t it?

Good magicians don’t reveal their tricks at the end of the show. But I’m not a magician, I’m a preacher, so I’ll reveal mine here.

I hope you see that what I’ve tried to do today follows the same three steps I’ve been taking about. I start with what, to me, is the most true and useful way to understand how we make our gods. Then I’ve tried to persuade you that it’s true, so you will adapt it for your own life.

Am I right? Is this the best kind of truth for you here? It’s all I can offer you. From here, it’s up to you. This is where I came out when I wrestled with the idea of God. Eventually, you’ll need to wrestle, too. I recommend it. Even if the ordeal leaves you with a limp, it will bless you, and might give you a new kind of name. After all, lives are at stake. And one of them may be yours.