From your Healthy Relations Team

Dear Healthy Relations Team,

It’s difficult enough trying to engage people I don’t know during coffee hour. Now, it seems, I must worry about pronouns. I am so nervous about making mistakes that I retreat to the corners or engage only with people I know. This certainly doesn’t seem welcoming. Any suggestions?

Confused and Wary

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Dear Confused and Wary,

There are so many ways in which we can fail to be welcoming. Thank you for bringing to our attention one way that is new to many of us and, therefore, uncomfortable. Today we have turned to an expert and asked Evan Mahony, a trans competency trainer and new board member, to provide us guidance both about how to avoid allowing our silence to inhibit progress and/or failing to interrupt hurtful interactions when we witness them. Evan writes:

“In my professional life as a trans competency trainer, my first piece of advice is to initiate introductions        yourself by saying, ‘Hi, I’m Evan. My pronouns are they/them.’ If they don’t respond with pronouns, don’t worry. If they do, you know what they prefer.

People ask, ‘What do I do if I misgender or mis-name someone accidentally?’ There is a lot of worry and concern about accidentally saying the wrong thing. My answer is to briefly apologize, quickly correct yourself, and move on. It’s as simple as ‘I was talking to Alex and he—sorry, I mean she—said that she would bring the cups for the party,’ or ‘After service today I have to talk to Jenny—oh, sorry, Jonathan—about our class.’

Apologizing too effusively or too lengthily runs the risk of centering speaker’s own feelings and making the trans person feel pressured to reassure the speaker. Everyone makes mistakes—wires get crossed (for example, many people have had the experience of a parent absent-mindedly calling them a sibling’s name)—even trans people misgender each other by accident sometimes (I certainly do)! The point isn’t to be perfect and never make mistakes—the important part is how we recognize, take responsibility for, and correct our mistakes going forward.

Another question is what to do if you observe someone misgendering a trans person in front of you. This can get a little more complicated depending on the circumstance, but usually I would recommend, if you have a relationship to that trans person, ask them, ‘If I observe someone misgendering you, would you like me to correct the speaker? Does your preference change depending on whether you’re present for the conversation or not?” And then follow their preference.’

For me, personally, I very much appreciate when other people speak up and correct others for me, so that I don’t have to do so myself! It doesn’t have to be a whole conversation—just a quick interjection of ‘Oh, Evan uses they/them’ or ‘Oh, Evan is nonbinary’ can be very helpful. At a previous job, I had a coworker who repeatedly used the wrong pronouns for me, and my boss very consistently corrected my coworker over and over until my coworker started getting my pronouns right. That was a wonderful example of allyship and support in action.”

The Healthy Relations Ministry thanks Evan for their help today. We are available to you as a resource if you need help with a difficult situation here at church. The Healthy Relations team includes Margaret Borden, Tomas Medina, and Julie Paasche and can be reached at healthyrelations@austinuu.org.

7/9/23

Join us on Tuesday, June 27th from 9 a.m – 12 p.m. to improve our grounds and meet fellow gardeners. It’s hot now, so we’ll take try to work in the shade and take frequent breaks.

There is no obligation to stay until 12 p.m. Please be sure to bring water and wear sunscreen. Small tools are welcome, but not required.

First UU Pagan Alliance in collaboration with the Monday Meditation Group will host our Summer Solstice Ritual Celebration & Drum Circle.

This event will be held at First UU Church on Monday June 26th at 7 p.m.

We will plan to be in the First UU Courtyard, weather permitting. Please bring a camp chair and drum if you have them, and extras to share if you’re so inclined.

We look forward to seeing you there!

We’ve made it through our first year of the interim period. Rev. Jonalu’s last Sunday with us in person was in May and Rev. Erin will be concluding her time as an interim minister when she presides over Sunday service on July 30th . It has been a year of growth and we appreciate all that Jonalu and Erin have done for us.

Our new interim minister, Rev. Michelle LaGrave will begin her work with us in August. Rev. Michelle specializes in interim ministry and will be coming to Austin after she has completed her service with Emerson Unitarian Universalist Church of Houston. We can look forward to learning more about her later this summer, but if you can’t wait please go to her website at uurevmichelle.com.

Finally, the ministerial search committee has begun its work. They, in conjunction with Rev. Chris Jimmerson, will decide in the fall whether to present Rev. Chris to the congregation as the candidate to be our next settled minister. If the decision is to present Rev. Chris as the candidate, a congregational vote will take place. The members of the congregation have the ultimate authority to vote to call a settle minister. Please look for the transition timeline in Howson Hall for more information about the timing of events in the transition. There will be multiple opportunities to engage with the search committee in the next few months. Be on the lookout for these opportunities.

In October 2022, First UU began offering a monthly Vespers service that provided a more intimate, experimental and contemplative style of worship.

As we plan for the future, we would love to hear from you. Would you attend a Vespers service? And if so, what sorts of things would you like to see included?

Please join Reverend Chris and the Vespers team for a discussion either via Zoom (6/29 @6:30 PM) or in person (7/9 @ 12:30 PM). We will provide pizza after the in person session on 7/9.

Please register to attend so that we plan appropriately:

6/29 Online Session: Register on Church Center

7/9 In-Person Session: Register on Church Center

Vespers is a unique opportunity to create worship together.

We are now live-streaming our worship services over Austin Public Television on Sunday mornings! 

Click here for information on television channels and other ways to access the Austin Public live-stream.

The 2023-2024 church year congregational meeting dates will be:

Fall Pre-Congregational Meeting – November 19, 2023
Fall Congregational Meeting –  December 17, 2023

Spring Pre-Congregational Meeting – April 21, 2024
Fall Congregational Meeting, May 19, 2024

Please note: All of the above meetings will be held at 12:30 p.m.

Meetings will be held in the sanctuary and over the church Zoom.

Your board requests that church groups not schedule other meetings or events during these dates and times so that congregational members who wish to attend and vote are able to do so.

On Sunday, June 4, at 10:45 a.m., we will hold our annual flower communion during the worship service.

This year, we celebrate the 100^th anniversary of this tradition. The first Flower Ceremony was held in Prague, in June 1923, led by Rev. Norbert Čapek.

We hope you will join us for this much-loved Unitarian Universalist ritual. Please bring a flower or flowers. During the service, you will have the opportunity to add your flower(s) to large bouquets we will create in the sanctuary and to take a different flower with you, symbolizing both the unique, sacred beauty of each of us and the even greater beauty we create when we share that sacred uniqueness with one another.

If you would like to submit a request for a pulpit announcement, please send them to ministers@austinuu.org no later than noon on the Thursday before you would like the announcement to be made. Please keep such requested announcements to three sentences or less. 

The ministers will exercise their discretion regarding pulpit announcements, prioritizing those that apply to the whole of the church community and that address events and such that will be occurring on the Sunday for which they are requested.

We will show any announcements that we are unable to present verbally or that come in after noon on Friday on the screens in the sanctuary during the postlude.

The Board of Trustees is pleased to announce our Ministerial Search Committee, which includes Carolyn
Gremminger, Tomas Medina, Peggy Morton, Celeste Padilla, Tom Shindell, Bis Thornton and Susan
Thomson. Learn more about the individuals serving on the committee here.

Over the summer the search committee will receive training from the UUA on the search process, begin
conversations with the congregation about what we want for our church and our minister. This work will
prepare them to work with Rev. Chris Jimmerson to decide mutually whether he is a good match for the
position. If Rev. Chris and the committee decide that it is, then the congregation will vote. If not, then
the search committee will engage with the UUA open search process in December.