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© Brian Ferguson
November 2, 2008
First UU Church of Austin
4700 Grover Ave., Austin, TX 78756
www.austinuu.org
Listen to the sermon by clicking the play button above.
Reading – All Souls
by May Sarton
Did someone say that there would be an end,
An end, Oh, an end, to love and mourning?
Such voices speak when sleep and waking blend,
The cold bleak voices of the early morning
When all the birds are dumb in dark November –
Remember and forget, forget, remember.
After the false night, warm true voices, wake!
Voice of the dead that touches the cold living,
Through the pale sunlight once more gravely speak,
Tell me again, while the last leaves are falling:
“Dear child, what has been once so interwoven
Cannot be raveled, nor the gift ungiven.”
Now the dead move through all of us still glowing,
Mother and child, lover and lover mated,
Are wound and bound together and enflowing.
What has been plaited cannot be unplaited –
Only the strands grow richer with each loss
And memory makes kings and queens of us.
Dark into light, light into darkness, spin.
When all the birds have flown to some real haven,
We who find shelter in the warmth within,
Listen, and feel now new-cherished, new-forgiven,
As the lost human voices speak through us and blend
Our complex love, our mourning without end.
Prayer
At this time of year nature and our mythology remind us of the cycles of life and death. Our environment seems less abundant as trees and plants prepare for winter. Many cultures in our world claim that the veil between the living and dead is thinner at this time of year.
For those of us coping with loss of friends and loved ones, that thinness feels vast – and thin. Vast because our relationship with those who have died has forever changed. Yet thin because our memory of the dead can keep them close and vital to us.
The cherished memories of our loved ones who came before remind us of the love they gave us and our love for them. We are reminded by them that how we live today matters not just to those with us today but the future generations to come.
As those who came before influence us then we will in turn influence those to come. If we influence others is not our choice, how we influence them is. Our time in this life is limited but what we choose to give to others can be abundant.
May our love and concern for others guide us in preserving the memories and values of those who came before – and may we pass on to those who come after the highest values and spirit that enriched our own lives.
Amen
Today’s reading
is a poem entitled Message in Colors
by Spanish Poet Julie Sopetran.
Here, in an impressionistic and sensory fashion, the writer tries to convey to us the kind of nostalgia that is a spiritual celebration on the Day of the Dead in Mexico.
Lit candles. Faces. Memories
and an entrance that’s a rainbow: protection for the place
of rest and meditation.
Necklaces. Marigolds, pre-Hispanic cadence, songs,
paper medals, flames talking to the wind
the diverse language of the departed.
It is the prime time of the celebration
or death’s thread, threaded
through time’s needle.
It is the decomposition of matter, transformed into art.
It is the final curtain awoken from death.
Yes. An eternal dream of uncorrupt flowers and of celebration.
It is death’s lament, fading away
and it is also the respect made as tribute.
Who could have imagined so much beauty on a tomb?
Mole. Glass of water. Incense. Salt. Prayers.
Firecrackers. Fruits. Bread. Music.
Ballads, Poems. Romantic songs.
History praised. Creativity expressed
in its most raw form…
And they are laments in purple, white, blue, and pink.
It is a blow from grace so heightened as artificial fire
that reveals the soul’s presence in the darkness.
Something like the flowering of martyrdom in flames.
An arrangement for the dead
or the posthumous splendor of what one thinks is on the other side;
In that place everything is possible
grief battles with life and life wins,
it is once again for a little while, happiness, playful tradition
which overcomes reality.
It was before these ornate gravesites, when I knew
that in that place, as in my heart,
those that have departed return every year to remind us of their love.
And that only LOVE can save us.
Sermon: What the dead can tell us about coming alive
Today, in the sanctuary we are blessed by these beautiful Altars that were created for our Dia de los Muertos or Day of the Dead celebrations here at the church last night. Thank you to all of you who created them. Amidst this explosion of color I am feeling rather drab in my dark suit with only my red tie looking like it belongs up here with all these colors.
This time of year feels really busy. We just had Halloween on Friday and this weekend we also have the Day of the Dead celebrations. The election on Tuesday means that we are only three days away from the beginning of the 2012 Presidential Election campaign. The church year is in full swing with lots of exciting activities happening here most days of the week. The relaxed days of summer seems a distant memory as Thanksgiving plans are starting to coalesce and Christmas is looming just around the corner. Thank goodness for that extra hour we gained with the clocks going back last night, we need all the time we can get. Yet time is a quantity we only have a finite amount of. Our own health concerns or those around us are a constant reminder that we are creatures of finite lives. We are particularly sensitive to these issues at this time of year since in many cultures this is a time where we do honor and celebrate the dead. The Mexican holiday of Day of the Dead is one such tradition.
When I first came to the United States and encountered the Day of the Dead celebration, I naively thought it was just the Mexican version of Halloween. The proliferation of skeletons in various active poses and sugar skulls seemed to suggest a similar emphasis on the fearful and otherworldly aspects of Halloween. My assumption of any similarity with Halloween was mistaken. Day of the Dead focuses on bringing family and friends together to remember and honor those close to us who have died.
In the poem, Ron read earlier we heard about the atmosphere, beauty, and celebratory nature of the Day of the Dead tradition as families gather at gravesites or in homes with altars similar to what we have here. The altars contain mementoes and other objects such as flowers, food, and drink. The intent is to encourage visits from the souls of the dead so they can hear the prayers, music, and stories told in their honor. The commemoration of the dead has warm and pleasant overtones for the participants. In the words from the poem “grief battles with life and life wins, it is once again for a little while, happiness and playful tradition which overcomes reality.” The reality is death but for a brief period through community celebration then grief is transcended. This festive interaction between the living and the dead in a social ritual helps the living to remember how enriched they were by the lives of those no longer alive.
Our Halloween celebration is also based on the idea of the dead being able to visit us at this time of year. The difference is the dead are seen as threatening to the living therefore the tradition of wearing costumes to scare off the dead spirits. What different approaches to the dead, one celebrating them, the other being fearful of them? Halloween has no religious significance for us today but the Day of the Dead has its roots in two religious traditions.
The Day of the Dead celebration – and it is a celebration – has its roots back hundreds of years to the indigenous groups in Mexico. These groups honored their ancestors through gifts and stories. After the Spanish Conquests of Mexico, the Christian missionaries saw these celebrations as sacrilegious and tried to banish the ritual. The Spanish had a fearful attitude towards the dead due to the devastation of the great plagues that killed one third of the population in Europe during the late Middle Ages. After many years of unsuccessfully trying to end the practice, the Spanish Christians then decided to assimilate the celebration. They moved the indigenous celebration from August to coincide with All Soul’s day which is today November 2nd. All Soul’s Day is a Roman Catholic commemoration of the dead so there is a tenuous connection of honoring the dead.
Christianity like other religions has been very effective co-opting indigenous holidays and making them Christian holidays. The birth of Jesus on December 25th is widely recognized to be the co-opting of a Roman Solar holiday not the actual birth of Jesus. The seeming coincidences of Day of the Dead and All Souls Day are not “God working anonymously” as some would claim but the appropriation of a less powerful group’s tradition by a more powerful group. Interestingly, the Day of the Dead celebration as practiced by most people today has little connection to the actual rituals of the Christian tradition and strong connections to the original ideas of the indigenous, pre-Christian tradition.
Sadly, like so many religious practices there has been some co-option of this holiday by that most dominant of all our present religions – consumerism. The commercialization of holidays such as Christmas, Halloween, and Day of the Dead often take the important symbols of a religion and trivialize them as nothing more than products to be sold. This may explain why on my first encounter with Day of the Dead I could not see a distinction from the overt commercialization of Halloween. In the tradition of the Day of the Dead, the significance of the skeletons and sugar skulls are their material symbolism. The skeletons are symbols for the dead family members, not to be feared, but to be loved and invited to join the celebration of their own lives. The specific activity that a skeleton is engaged in is usually the favorite activity of the deceased person being honored.
The desire to have some physical connection to a dead relative or friend is something I suspect many of us can relate to. Many of us have physical keepsakes that remind us of those special to us. The other important aspect of the Day of the Dead celebration is the idea of the gifts the living could give to the dead to bring us closer to their spirit and help bring their spirit more fully into our lives. Of course in Liberal Religion we need to do some translation to bring the idea into our context but I think this is a potentially rich way of thinking for us. What gifts can we give of ourselves today that would honor and bring us closer to departed family and friends? Can we live our lives to honor those who through their love, values, and support made us who we are today? Being a Liberal Religion each of us needs to explore those questions ourselves but perhaps hearing my own struggles with these questions might help you.
I mentioned earlier that this tie may be the only item belonging to me that belongs with these altars. I was referencing the red color in contrast with the dark, austere colors of my suit. Remember we Unitarian Universalists are religiously descended from the Puritans who were not famed for their bold color sense. This tie also belongs on these altars for the symbolism it means to me. I was given this tie twenty-two years ago for my brother’s wedding by my father. It was his tie and he gave it to me as a family gift. My father died unexpectedly in January of this year. Like many of us here who have experienced the loss of someone close to us and perhaps especially a parent whom we’re close to, it is a disorienting experience. A seemingly ever-present pillar of your life is removed. It is painful and destabilizing. This tie for me is an important connection to the memory of my dad.
My dad was an honest, hard working, and plain talking person. He was bright and inquisitive but not college educated and liked people to speak in plain language grounded in what he called the real world. I remind myself to keep my words honest, respectful, and accessible. My dad always loved a good argument and would often disagree with me just for the discussion. Family discussions around the dinner table had always been a huge part of my family culture for as long as I can remember. I believe the constant questioning and discussions in my family home set me on my long and winding path to finding a home in Unitarian Universalism. When I question with honesty, sincerity, respect, and clarity then I believe I am closer to the spirit of my dad while serving important religious values.
Davidson in a sermon a few weeks ago gave a wonderful example of living life as if all the great people of history were watching – living under the gaze of eternity I think he called it. As daunting as that sounds it does seem to be powerful guidance for living a good life. I also think it is in keeping with this spirit of Liberal Religion to consider some of the people who are watching us to be our dead relatives and friends who we most admired and were influential on us. When we invoke the memory of them to guide or motivate us in our lives then we are invoking their spirit and by doing so we are honoring them. I believe this is what May Sarton was saying in the earlier poem:
“Now the dead move through all of us still glowing,
As the lost human voices speak through us and blend
Our complex love, our mourning without end.”
We are engaging with both the inspiration and the sadness of those important people who are no longer with us physically. At the heart of grief and mourning is the struggle we have dealing with multiple emotions simultaneously: the joy that person brought to us in our lives and the sadness at their absence, the anger at what is seemingly unresolved and fear of how we can live life without them. Our mourning does not end since we are reminded of them as they continue to influence us through their example.
As part of the Day of the Dead celebration many Mexican families tell stories about the dead person each year to keep their memory and influence alive. I think there is great value in this. In our religion the memorial services fill this formal role on a one time basis shortly after their death. We do not have a religious tradition of regularly telling a person’s story. What I wanted to do for my dad became clear to me when I was clearing through photographs when preparing to move here from San Francisco in June.
I was looking at some photographs and I found one of my dad when he was two years old and a photograph of when I was last with him just over a year ago. I looked at him in both photographs and thought what really connects these two completely different people – the fresh-faced two year old boy in 1932 and the haggard face seventy-five years later which showed the years of discomforting illness. What became clear to me is that it is the stories, experiences, and relationships connecting the people in the two photographs. I realized that I knew only a small portion of those stories. The father-son relationship, though intimate and important, is a limited lens through which to view any person.
Being a father myself, I’m acutely aware of the narrow view my five-year old daughter has of me – I’m a mode of transportation and a rather large climbing frame but primarily I’m the authority figure who denies her all things fun. Don’t believe her when she says I denied her any candy on Halloween. I think I allowed her one piece. To broaden my own view of my father I’ve undertaken a project to write his eulogy not from my own perspective or people I know well but from those who I do not know well and had a relationship with my dad very different from me. His friends when he was in the Air Force as a young man, the people who were his apprentices at work, and his brother in Canada who knew him during his early years. This will help me get a fuller perspective beyond just his later life as a father and perhaps gain insights into why he was the person he was.
When a person dies we can often freeze our relationship with them at the time of their death and not remember the changes that occurred in the relationship over the course of their life. I believe that we can continue to change our relationship even with those who are dead by getting a fuller understanding of who they were. As long as they are alive there is often that vain hope that they may still change to become the person we want them to be. Seventy-six years wasn’t enough perhaps the seventy-seventh year of their life will be the one they make the change I desire of them. Ah the eternal hopeful human spirit especially when it is about someone else changing and not ourselves.
When a person dies we give up any hope of them changing but if we choose we can change our own beliefs of that person. Perhaps what we wanted them to change was just not that important and we focus on those more important eternal attributes of the person that are important to us – their love for us despite our imperfections, their confidence in us despite our own doubts, or their friendship despite our sometimes feeling unworthy of it. The death of someone allows us to reframe what we remember about their life – for good and for bad – and perhaps allows us to see the essence of the person beyond the often trivial disagreements that are so much part of our everyday lives.
Despite the inevitability of death for all of us, it is not a subject that is discussed much in our society. There is often avoidance until it is thrust upon on us through our own loss. Many people, religious and non-religious, often turn to religion or religious leaders for guidance at this time. Religion is where we try to find some meaning and comfort about death. Different religions have different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Many propose some form of existence beyond this life, a hope that we will be reunited in some form with those who died before us. I understand the desire for this but to me what happens beyond death is a mystery – and perhaps it is good that it is a mystery. This allows grief-stricken people to find hope in different ways during difficult times. I have seen the solace and strength that friends of mine have gained from believing they would be reunited with a deceased child or young spouse in the future. This is not a denial of death but a belief in something beyond death. I personally struggle to share their beliefs but I cannot be certain what happens after death and at times even feel a little envious of the comfort these beliefs give them.
What I can be certain of is that death is a transformational experience for those close to the deceased. Our lives are changed as we are reminded of our own mortality. We are finite beings with a limited time in this life and it matters what we do with our life. I have heard the Spanish expression Manana described as meaning something might get done tomorrow, or maybe next week, or maybe next month. I heard someone being asked if we had any equivalent of that expression in Scotland and he replied that we had no word to convey that sense of urgency. Urgency is not a good way of determining what is important. Our lives seem to be surrounded by urgency. Urgency of creating Halloween costumes, making Thanksgiving plans, buying Christmas presents and even writing sermons. While death gives us a finite time we should react to this restriction by prioritizing what really is important.
Manana can be thought of as something never being started because of procrastination, alternatively it can mean something will never be completed because it transcends our timeframe. I suspect what is really most important is not what we get done before we die but those projects that we begin that will transcend our deaths. For example the work we do in community to address the social ills such as poverty, violence, hunger, racism, and sexism. This work to heal our world will not be completed in my life time – improved I hope but not completed. By building institutions such as this church with our time and money we hope this work and the promotion of our religious values to others will continue after we are gone. This is legacy work since it transcends our own life span.
I talked earlier about how a focus of Day of the Dead was the gifts whose purpose was to bring the spirit of the dead closer to us. Our legacy is the reverse of this, what will we dedicate ourselves to now that will be a gift to others when we are dead? Our time in this life is finite but our legacy and what we choose it to be is not. How we preserve the memory and values of those who came before us and pass on our values and spirit to others are perhaps the most important questions we will address in our lives. By acknowledging the reality of death and the losses we have in common we may find what is most meaningful in our life and worth passing on to future generations. And when we do that we are honoring the full human experience and celebrating life’s longing for itself.
______________________________
Sopetran, Julie, Message in Colors from the book Mexico City, Mixquic & Morelos – Through the Eyes of the Soul, Day of the Dead in Mexico. http://library.thinkquest.org/trio/TTQ03066/poems_english.html#message URL accessed on October 30th, 2008.
Sewell, Marilyn ed. Cries of the Spirit (Boston, Ma: Beacon Press, 1991) p.131
